Shall I play the courting game?

Dear China, Mai-Mai And Tingting,

I’m an 18-year-old guy courting my college classmate for about six months now. I’m quite competitive being a varsity player, but I was very surprised when I recently found out that courting this girl has been like a contest. Apart from me, there are two other guys who are eyeing her and I heard that there’s side betting on who she will answer before the end of the semester. I didn’t know that she kept a scorecard on who her parents approved more, who her friends like, who behaved better in a date, who called her more in a day or who gave her more gifts. I like her very much but with all these things I found out I don’t see any emotion coming into play. What should I do?

Contestant No. 1

If you’re as competitive as you said you were, I think you should stick it out until she gives her final answer. Don’t sportsmen have a do-or-die attitude? Use the information you have to your advantage. If you know she relies on the views of her peers and family, try to be closer to these people so they may "vote" for you. If she wants to be called regularly, then do so too. If you really like this girl, you’d do everything to win her. However, if you’re already turned off by the way she chooses among the three of you, then maybe you should really bow out of what you call the "contest" because even if she chooses you in the end, you already have some cloud over your shoulders and your relationship might turn out to be a disaster.

China

Don’t you consider other’s opinions too when you make a decision? I would think that asking for other’s opinions is normal. So is being observant and choosy. Look at it this way...before you courted her, I’m sure you eyed other girls too. You had to make a decision much like she has to do now. You considered some factors important to you. Well, for her, the opinion of others is important. If you don’t think this is right, then you shouldn’t pursue her anymore.

Mai-Mai

What you should do next depends on how worthy this girl is. Is she worth fighting for ? If she decides to choose someone else, is she worth the path of heartbreak? On the other hand, if she chooses you, won’t you look at your relationship in a muddled kind of way? Decide on what you will feel after she makes her decision and not on how she does it. Believe it or not, some decisions are really made like these. Besides, you’re not really sure that emotions are not considered. For all you know, 50 percent of her final decision might be how she feels for the guy. If you show her some animosity, this might tip the balance against your favor.

Tingting

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