Crisis of the twentysomethings

LOS ANGELES – Charlotte is newly married to a photographer who gets an assignment in Japan. Having just graduated from school, she finds herself idle and agrees to go with her husband. In Tokyo, she is waylaid in the same hotel as Bob, an American actor signed to endorse an alcoholic beverage. The two share a meaningful – albeit platonic – relationship.

"The character of the girl is based on me when I was younger," Oscar-winner Sofia Coppola has been quoted as saying about the heroine in her award-winning screenplay, Lost in Translation. She has that early 20s crisis of "What am I gonna do?" Sometimes, even the best of us aren’t spared from that. I am referring to the quarterlife crisis which, up until recent years, wasn’t given much thought and attention.

Quarterlife crisis describes the period where twentysomethings freak out. From the sheltered environment and structured lifestyles in school, they are let loose in a huge world where anything goes. From sympathetic professors and accommodating clubs, they are thrust into the cold-blooded pit of the corporate jungle where two phrases will ultimately become their weapons of survival – "Watch your back" and "Save your own a_ _."

In 2001, authors Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner wrote Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties. It was a documentation of the experiences of American twenty-somethings who have been there or are still going through that phase in their lives. All of a sudden, a significant number of young adults came forward to admit that they went through it and were just embarrassed to talk about it. The book became a national best seller just as quarterlife crisis was thrust into the vortex of important social issues, with the authors appearing on a variety of news programs and talk shows, like CNN and Oprah.

Before them, however, science had already coined a term to mean the same: "Emerging adulthood is the period of life that now is typical for young people in industrialized societies," says Jeffrey Arnett, Ph.D., editor of Journal of Adolescent Research, in Maryland. "It is characterized by a lot of influx in the different areas of life: relationships, work, and lifestyle. It lasts between the ages 18-25, although for some, it lasts until the late 20s," he defines.

Quarterlife crisis exists everywhere, Arnett even points out, "It is also increasingly common for young people in developing countries like the Philippines." In our country, as March enters the calendar year, there is much eagerness in anticipation of graduation (read: freedom). But there are also anxieties about what the future holds, specifically, career-wise.

"With the high rate of unemployment, the young adult is faced with very limited career options. The Filipino young adult is torn between pursuing his/her own interests and pursuing a career to help augment his/her family’s income. Too often, the young adult is forced to take the latter," explains Noel Racho, assistant professor at Miriam College.

It certainly poses a threat to your carefree existence, actually scary, when you think about it.
What are you going to do with the rest of your life? How are you going to survive? But don’t worry, you are not doomed. A lot of us go through or have gone through a period of unrest and uncertainty in our lives. It is natural, common. And it’s not something that should be feared. On the contrary, it’s a period to embrace and take advantage of.

"When you’re 18-25, you have more freedom than you ever had as a child or an adolescent and more freedom than you ever will have as an adult. This is a rare chance to really be in charge of your life," he points out.

Clearly, this period is the marriage of the unsettling and the exhilarating. But how does one limit the anxieties and make the most of the opportunities? Here are some ways to see you through the hump:

Keep it real – Yes, the 20s may be the best years of your life. But it can also be extremely frustrating. Wilner suggests setting "realistic expectations." Be aware that there will be challenges. For instance, no matter how much your ego is pampered by high grades and flattering remarks from professors, no matter how big you are in school now, you might (and chances are you will) have to start out small and humble in the real world.

"The reality of it is that most people are gonna make a certain kind of compromises as they go through their 20s. They might have to accept less than the ideal. Most of the jobs available to people aren’t wonderful jobs. They’re a way to make a living," says Arnett.

Goals vs. deadlines – It’s always good to have goals because these will give you purpose. But Alexandra Robbins, co-author of Quarterlife Crisis explains that goals can be a disadvantage if they are confused with deadlines.

"Don’t put pressure on yourself to reach these goals before you’re out of your twenties," she warns. Her follow-up book Conquering the Quarterlife Crisis is due for release late this year. It includes advice from twenty-somethings who have gone through it and survived.

Keep calm – However, even if you don’t have a clear idea of what to do with your life before getting a taste of what’s out there, there’s no need to push the panic button and run to the nearest coffee shop to overdose on caffeine. Today’s society puts a lot of pressure on twentysomethings to achieve something at a younger age. Don’t let that bother you. There seems to be a mad rush to success. Remember that there is no race to be won, only mistakes to be suffered from hasty decisions.

Know yourself – Finally, take advantage of your time in college. After you graduate, you will realize that this is a luxury you will not always have in the real world. Learn as much about yourself as you can. Different experiences will help you discover things as simple as your likes and dislikes, and as profound as what you want out of life.

Life is a huge roller coaster ride full of sharp turns, unexpected twists, and sudden drops. Hopefully, after you survive the first 25 years of your life without much damage to your soul, you will be able to relax and enjoy the ride. Keep in mind that amid the threat of quarterlife crisis is the hope of emerging adulthood period that the 20s may still be the best years of your life. And the wonderful thing about it is: you have the power to make it happen!