Is it wrong to love a cousin?

Dear Tingting, Mai Mai And China,

I was in a two-year relationship with a second cousin. His family knew about our relationship and I got along with them well. My family did not know about us until this January when I told my mom about it. The problem is that our other relatives don’t approve of it and they have encouraged his family to tell us to call it quits because my dad would be angry if he found out. Because of the pressure my boyfriend broke off with me. I am so angry because we are out mid 20s and still they treat us like kids. I love my boyfriend very much even if he tells me that we should just be friends. I know that he loves me too because we continue to see each other regularly. Should I let him go?

‘Cuz

Dear Cuz,

Whatever your family’s intentions for wanting you to break off with your cousin boyfriend is definitely not for selfish reasons. Why don’t you try to listen to whatever they have to say first? After all, isn’t love blind? The answer to whether you should continue seeing him or not depends on how strong a person you are. It might be painful if you continue to see him just as a friend especially because of your past. However because you are second cousins you are bound to bump into each other every now and then so it might be best to keep the friendship. Think about it.

China

You feel that your boyfriend still loves you but his actions speak otherwise. He did break off with you and his family has also turned their backs on this relationship. What options do you really have? You didn’t say what your mom thinks about this relationship. Is she supportive or does she have qualms about it? I think you should see this guy to settle what future your relationship might have. You know it takes two to make a relationship work and if one is half-hearted it would be hard-pressed to succeed.

Mai Mai

There are very few relationships that can stand without the blessings of both families. Unfortunately, with your boyfriend seemingly haven’t given up, I don’t see yours being one of them. I suggest you move on and find happiness elsewhere. Let him go. The fact that he didn’t have the guts to fight for your relationship is a big statement. True, he could say that he respects your dad but I believe that the least he could have done was to discuss it with you. Aside form him not fighting for the relationship, your boyfriend didn’t stand up for what he believes in either. His breaking up with you means that his family has a stronger influence over him and that you are the only one intent on keeping the relationship. Either way you wouldn’t want to be with a man who can’t protect you. Let things be. You’ll find someone better.

Tingting