Intolerable hilarity
December 5, 2003 | 12:00am
Remember The Mexican, the 2001 box office semi-hit starring major Hollywood A-lists Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts? The biggest shock we found out while watching the film was not that the title "character" was really a cursed antique pistol and not an actual Mexican, but that these superstars, two of the most bankable celebs in the world, could produce such a dull, dry disaster that – considering its standards – only earned $66 million. This taught us not to invest all our expectations on a movie just because of its star power. Now, here comes Intolerable Cruelty, headlined by, once again, two huge Hollywood names: George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones. However, this time around, the final product turns out to be a success.
In writers/directors Joel and Ethan Coen’s (Raising Arizona, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou?) latest offering, Clooney plays Beverly Hills divorce lawyer du jour Miles Massey, bored with his constant success (in the courtroom and in the bedroom) and is longing for a real challenge. Zeta-Jones plays Marilyn Rexroth, the gold-digging wife of Rex Rexroth (Edward Herrman), a wealthy real estate developer whose infidelity is caught on tape by Marilyn’s lawyer and private investigator, Gus Petch (Cedric the Entertainer). With him and his client confidently expecting a lucrative divorce settlement, Gus and Marilyn are stunned when Miles wins the case in favor of his client Rex, leaving Marilyn broke. However, she rebounds by marrying an oil tycoon (Billy Bob Thornton) as part of her plan of revenge on Miles, who seems to be falling for her.
Intolerable Cruelty doesn’t collapse from the powerful screen presence of its two leads. In fact, Clooney and Zeta-Jones both give brilliant performances without outshining each other. He is perfectly slick and charming as Miles, while she is deliciously malicious and conniving as Marilyn. They both nail their parts, thanks to the Coen brothers’ incredibly witty, sharp script, the perfect example of a typically offbeat Coen screenplay.
While some may perceive Cruelty as silly, maybe even cartoonish, I applaud the film for that very same reason, though I’d rather use two other adjectives. The film isn’t afraid to portray these two wicked, immoral characters in such glorification, and it makes no apologies about it, either. I admire the Coens for doing that; making a film dripping with sarcasm and oozing with cynicism.
Bottom Line: An intolerably hilarious, wonderfully malicious screwball comedy basking in its own cynical glory.
Grade: B+
When will people in movies ever stop buying 100-year-old houses, pretending they’ve never seen The Amityville Horror? Well, Sharon Stone doesn’t need to worry about that, as her latest big screen project, which promised to be a terrifying haunted house thriller, turns out to be a boring, tiresome charade. When married Manhattanite couple Cooper and Leah Tilson (Dennis Quaid and Stone, respectively) – he, a struggling documentary filmmaker; she, a steely corporate wife who brings home most of the dough – decide to abandon a hectic city life, they move upstate to Cold Creek Manor. But when one of the last remaining descendants of the manor’s original owners (Stephen Dorff) shows up, claiming the house, the manor’s past of macabre murder slowly unveils.
As I’ve said, everything about Cold Creek Manor promised a haunted house movie: the title, the trailer, and the creepy old house itself! However, we are presented with a slasher pic, and not a good one at that. Quaid acts much gloomier than the role calls for, and Stone looks so depressing that you can’t help but feel sad every time you see her. Added to that, the two leads never seem like an actual married couple, failing to create the believable chemistry needed to pull off the "scares" that produce yawns instead of screams. Director Mike Figgis (Leaving Las Vegas) takes an incredibly long time establishing the film’s foundation, making it feel sluggish, tedious and impossibly lethargic. This is the laziest horror movie of the year.
Bottom Line: The only thing audiences will fear after Cold Creek Manor is whether or not they can ever enjoy a horror movie again.
Grade: C+
• Watch Intolerable Cruelty.
• Watch The Fighting Temptations. Beyonce Knowles, in her first leading role, stars with Cuba Gooding Jr. in this fresh, irresistibly joyous, smile-inducing feel-good comedy that’ll just leave you wondering: Why are all these people so damn happy?!
• I’m saying this hesitantly, but watch Out of Time. Denzel Washington stars in this enjoyably stylized crime thriller, which is also very shallow, contrived, emotionally hollow, and unfathomably predictable. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, but try seeing it anyway.
• Don’t watch Jeepers Creepers 2. The first Jeepers Creepers was, for the most part, a cheesy, clichéd, fun guilty pleasure with cheap – yet effective – scares. However, this was one of those films where it just didn’t need a sequel. JC2 is tedious and sometimes even laughable, most especially when that giant bat-like thingamajig raises unintentionally hilarious havoc.
For comments, questions and suggestions, e-mail me at lanz_gryffindor@yahoo.com.
In writers/directors Joel and Ethan Coen’s (Raising Arizona, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou?) latest offering, Clooney plays Beverly Hills divorce lawyer du jour Miles Massey, bored with his constant success (in the courtroom and in the bedroom) and is longing for a real challenge. Zeta-Jones plays Marilyn Rexroth, the gold-digging wife of Rex Rexroth (Edward Herrman), a wealthy real estate developer whose infidelity is caught on tape by Marilyn’s lawyer and private investigator, Gus Petch (Cedric the Entertainer). With him and his client confidently expecting a lucrative divorce settlement, Gus and Marilyn are stunned when Miles wins the case in favor of his client Rex, leaving Marilyn broke. However, she rebounds by marrying an oil tycoon (Billy Bob Thornton) as part of her plan of revenge on Miles, who seems to be falling for her.
Intolerable Cruelty doesn’t collapse from the powerful screen presence of its two leads. In fact, Clooney and Zeta-Jones both give brilliant performances without outshining each other. He is perfectly slick and charming as Miles, while she is deliciously malicious and conniving as Marilyn. They both nail their parts, thanks to the Coen brothers’ incredibly witty, sharp script, the perfect example of a typically offbeat Coen screenplay.
While some may perceive Cruelty as silly, maybe even cartoonish, I applaud the film for that very same reason, though I’d rather use two other adjectives. The film isn’t afraid to portray these two wicked, immoral characters in such glorification, and it makes no apologies about it, either. I admire the Coens for doing that; making a film dripping with sarcasm and oozing with cynicism.
Bottom Line: An intolerably hilarious, wonderfully malicious screwball comedy basking in its own cynical glory.
Grade: B+
As I’ve said, everything about Cold Creek Manor promised a haunted house movie: the title, the trailer, and the creepy old house itself! However, we are presented with a slasher pic, and not a good one at that. Quaid acts much gloomier than the role calls for, and Stone looks so depressing that you can’t help but feel sad every time you see her. Added to that, the two leads never seem like an actual married couple, failing to create the believable chemistry needed to pull off the "scares" that produce yawns instead of screams. Director Mike Figgis (Leaving Las Vegas) takes an incredibly long time establishing the film’s foundation, making it feel sluggish, tedious and impossibly lethargic. This is the laziest horror movie of the year.
Bottom Line: The only thing audiences will fear after Cold Creek Manor is whether or not they can ever enjoy a horror movie again.
Grade: C+
• Watch The Fighting Temptations. Beyonce Knowles, in her first leading role, stars with Cuba Gooding Jr. in this fresh, irresistibly joyous, smile-inducing feel-good comedy that’ll just leave you wondering: Why are all these people so damn happy?!
• I’m saying this hesitantly, but watch Out of Time. Denzel Washington stars in this enjoyably stylized crime thriller, which is also very shallow, contrived, emotionally hollow, and unfathomably predictable. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, but try seeing it anyway.
• Don’t watch Jeepers Creepers 2. The first Jeepers Creepers was, for the most part, a cheesy, clichéd, fun guilty pleasure with cheap – yet effective – scares. However, this was one of those films where it just didn’t need a sequel. JC2 is tedious and sometimes even laughable, most especially when that giant bat-like thingamajig raises unintentionally hilarious havoc.
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