SECRET ADMIRER OR POTENTIAL STALKER?
August 29, 2003 | 12:00am
SISTERS ACT By Mai Mai & China Cojuangco…AND MOM REACTS By Tingting Cojuangco
Dear China, Maimai And Tingting,
How do I know if a guy has a crush on me? Everyday I always see this guy looking and smiling at me. He’s cute but he’s kind of irritating. Please tell me what to do.
Irritated Girl
If you’re more irritated than scared, then you’re safe. It’s difficult if this guy is scaring you or making you feel uncomfortable. He probably has a crush on you especially if you catch him making side glances. However, it’s neither wise nor fair to pre-judge his intentions. Why don’t you go up to him and introduce yourself? This is giving him an easier way to express himself. Whether or not he has feelings for you, gaining a new friend is always good.
China
I always tell our readers not to assume they know what the other person is thinking or feeling – especially if they don’t know the person well. In this case, you don’t know this guy at all, so all the more you should let him be. Maybe he’s really just friendly and likes smiling at people. Or, if he really admires you, he’s trying to find out more things about you before making his move. Whatever his objectives are, I suggest you give him his own space and you continue going your own way.
Maimai
I don’t see why you should get irritated when someone shows you some signs of admiration – unless, of course, he’s becoming a stalker. Aren’t you supposed to be glad? I think the best way to solve this is for you to ignore him unless, of course, he’s already stalking you. If he is, then report him to the guard or police so he can stop following you. Otherwise, if he seems harmless, just don’t mind him but don’t be rude either. For all you know, he’s just mustering enough courage to come up to you and introduce himself.
Tingting
Dear China, Maimai And Tingting,
I’ve known this guy since childhood and he is my brother’s best friend. Sometimes, I catch him staring at me. When I was still a freshman and I felt shy about going to school by myself, he offered to accompany me right in front of his other buddies. Is this a sign? Do you think this guy likes me or is he just concerned as a brother would be to his younger sister? Thanks and more power!
Alye
I won’t hazard a guess here because only he knows what his feelings are for you. If you ask me, you should be hoping that he doesn’t like you and that you’re reading far more than what there is. It’s less complicated that way. On the other hand, it’s also hard to find someone you can trust and because you’ve known him for ages and you’re comfortable with each other, yours might be a match that’s going to be right. What I’m saying is, however it goes, you’re in a win-win situation.
China
Ask him. Although it’s not the Filipina way, it’s the only way that you can be sure. Be ready though for any reply he might give you. If he says, "Yes, I like you" or "No, I only like you as a younger sister," be prepared to accept what he has to say. If you’re daring but not that daring... go ask your friends to ask him. Of course, you can still go the Filipina way and wait.
Maimai
It would be unwise to assume that your brother’s friend has some feelings for you. Assuming might lead you to hoping that he does and this will cause you more heartaches in the end. Be patient. If he really likes you, he will find a way to say so. In the meantime, continue entertaining other suitors and go out with your other friends. You’re still young and you will meet more guys as you go about your daily activities and not pining on this one friend.
Tingting
Send questions to sistersact_ys@yahoo.com.
Dear China, Maimai And Tingting,
How do I know if a guy has a crush on me? Everyday I always see this guy looking and smiling at me. He’s cute but he’s kind of irritating. Please tell me what to do.
Irritated Girl
If you’re more irritated than scared, then you’re safe. It’s difficult if this guy is scaring you or making you feel uncomfortable. He probably has a crush on you especially if you catch him making side glances. However, it’s neither wise nor fair to pre-judge his intentions. Why don’t you go up to him and introduce yourself? This is giving him an easier way to express himself. Whether or not he has feelings for you, gaining a new friend is always good.
China
I always tell our readers not to assume they know what the other person is thinking or feeling – especially if they don’t know the person well. In this case, you don’t know this guy at all, so all the more you should let him be. Maybe he’s really just friendly and likes smiling at people. Or, if he really admires you, he’s trying to find out more things about you before making his move. Whatever his objectives are, I suggest you give him his own space and you continue going your own way.
Maimai
I don’t see why you should get irritated when someone shows you some signs of admiration – unless, of course, he’s becoming a stalker. Aren’t you supposed to be glad? I think the best way to solve this is for you to ignore him unless, of course, he’s already stalking you. If he is, then report him to the guard or police so he can stop following you. Otherwise, if he seems harmless, just don’t mind him but don’t be rude either. For all you know, he’s just mustering enough courage to come up to you and introduce himself.
Tingting
I’ve known this guy since childhood and he is my brother’s best friend. Sometimes, I catch him staring at me. When I was still a freshman and I felt shy about going to school by myself, he offered to accompany me right in front of his other buddies. Is this a sign? Do you think this guy likes me or is he just concerned as a brother would be to his younger sister? Thanks and more power!
Alye
I won’t hazard a guess here because only he knows what his feelings are for you. If you ask me, you should be hoping that he doesn’t like you and that you’re reading far more than what there is. It’s less complicated that way. On the other hand, it’s also hard to find someone you can trust and because you’ve known him for ages and you’re comfortable with each other, yours might be a match that’s going to be right. What I’m saying is, however it goes, you’re in a win-win situation.
China
Ask him. Although it’s not the Filipina way, it’s the only way that you can be sure. Be ready though for any reply he might give you. If he says, "Yes, I like you" or "No, I only like you as a younger sister," be prepared to accept what he has to say. If you’re daring but not that daring... go ask your friends to ask him. Of course, you can still go the Filipina way and wait.
Maimai
It would be unwise to assume that your brother’s friend has some feelings for you. Assuming might lead you to hoping that he does and this will cause you more heartaches in the end. Be patient. If he really likes you, he will find a way to say so. In the meantime, continue entertaining other suitors and go out with your other friends. You’re still young and you will meet more guys as you go about your daily activities and not pining on this one friend.
Tingting
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