RICH ITCH

We each have our own pet peeves when it comes to the way other people dress. I suspect that even those who appear as if they couldn’t care less about such aesthetic frivolity have moments when they just can’t stand the sight of some person’s outfit. Many are threatened by the pierced and ghoulish proponents of the Goth life or find the inner-city ghetto look too felonious for their palates, while others may deem the trendy, too-cool getups of the fashionistas just plain pompous. For me, it’s a particular typecast among Manila dwellers – a look that is often mistakenly referred to as "classic" and "timeless," but one I prefer to call "Rich," "Wasp-y" (akin to the White Anglo Saxon Princesses of the US East Coast), and "Understated."

When I was in high school, to look "rich" you had to don a pair of Cole Haan loafers, a Tag Heuer watch, a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, a woven leather belt, and Guess faded jeans. It was Manila’s version of the preppy wardrobe. But that’s OK. In fact, I can look back at those times without wincing. We didn’t really have many options back then. Guys could choose to look like Andrew McCarthy or Duckie. Nowadays, we have no excuse anymore. Not only are there countless alternatives for clothing, but a distressed global economy is enough to prove that it isn’t so cool anymore to push your weight around with your duds.

Before I go on, let me make a few exceptions.

1) If you’re over 50, you’re excused. You’ve probably been dressing this way long enough and are likely to still be under the influence of the Audrey H. and Jackie O. phenomena. So stay cool. 2) If you belong to the flamboyant nouveau riche, you are also excused from my pet peeve (like you care, right?). It is the unapologetic, in-your-face manner in which you flaunt your wealth that somehow makes it digestible. It’s not about masquerading your riches with piety and propriety. You’ve made it and aren’t afraid to splurge. Take all these new hip-hop millionaires, for instance. They feel no need to disguise or downplay their fortune. On the contrary, they shamelessly parade their designer wares and glitzy possessions like young starlets showing off a spankin’ new pair of knockers from Belo.

3) Being moneyed doesn’t necessarily mean you dress "rich." In my mind, some of the most well-to-do possess the keenest sense of style.

Here’s how to tell the difference.

You Know You Dress "Rich" When

• You only shop brand name. Usually, big mainstream designer names (Gucci, Tod’s) for shoes, bags and belts "because they’re well made." For casual tees and chinos, you’ll settle for Banana Rep, maybe Petit Bateau "to look understated."

• You prefer not to wear anything "too wild, too different or too revealing."

• You have your hair blown dry every day.

• Everything is pristine, pressed, polished and perfectly in place. Nothing ripped, torn, distressed or vintage, please.

• Your everyday earrings are pearls or diamond studs.

• A luxury wristwatch is a staple.

• You always have a perfect manicure and pedicure, in nude or blush pink polish (Ouch! I do that!)

• You rarely wear bright colors, unusual fabrics or wild prints (except on a scarf, a bag or your shoes. And if ever, it must be a status item, such as an Hermes print scarf, a personalized Anya Hindmarch bag, or an ethnic bauble from a recent trip to Morocco).

• And last, but not least, a beautiful pair of designer shoes, the latest must-have designer bag and simple designer shades.

I can sense the jolted egos already. I’m sure I’m going to get hate mail for this and my personal style will suddenly be the target of criticism. Maybe some friends and relatives will never trust me with their appearance again. But rest assured, I believe I’m doing this for the greater good. I hope this is taken as constructive criticism. You are by no means less beautiful or less of a good person. In fact, some of the women who best exemplify this fashion sense are totally gorgeous. Take a look at Queen Rania of Jordan, Gwyneth Paltrow (except for that black number during Oscar night. Was I the only one cheering for poor Gwynnie that evening?), Reese Witherspoon, Aerin Lauder, and a whole lot of Madrileñas (which perhaps, if we performed a psychoanalytical study, is probably where Manila chicks get it from anyway).

You might say there are far worse looks in the world, so why pick on this? But I set it apart from other fashion atrocities simply because dressing in this particular rich manner reveals a total absence of style or creativity. The look is STERILE and INHIBITING – it forbids the wearer from expressing her personality or individuality. There is a disguised pretentiousness – a pretentiousness that is hidden under a veil of understatement or simplicity, but the real basis for buying something or getting dressed is to impose one’s affluence on everyone else. The only motivation is to look rich, and for me, a self-confessed fashion freak, this is a total disgrace to fashion.

Of course there are certain elements of the rich look that are truly cool. I’d be the last to deny the classic appeal of a tailored shirt or the raw brilliance of a diamond stud. I like my Eau d’Hadrien and Superga sneakers, too, thanks. Many rich things look great, classy, clean, chic, and there is nothing tacky about them, so I can see why some people find the temptation hard to resist. But I suppose it’s putting it all together, it’s the whole "rich package" that turns it into a stereotype. Take note: There’s a fine line between classic and dated, pristine and boring, simple and predictable.

Besides, why do you feel the need to dress rich? Why give everyone a strong whiff of your moolah? These days, everybody’s got the scoop on who has got the real dough anyway, so it’s useless to try to prove it with your clothing. Go get your money’s worth and explore all the possibilities fashion has to offer. Fashion is an incredible tool for expression and transformation, and it would be a darn waste if you merely used it to look filthy.

Quotable quote: "A woman is closest to being naked when she is well-dressed." – Coco Chanel

Dare to wear: Something rich with something punk.

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