Can you really hurry love?

Dear Mai Mai, China and Tingting,

Hi! I have been a follower of your column every Friday and I just want to ask you these questions, hoping that you could help shed some light on my problem. A guy who is courting me, I think, is very serious, although he is far (he is abroad) from me. Now, I am ready to move on to the next stage of this courtship (he’s been courting me for four months already) so how do I make him do so without seeming so aggressive and looking cheap. I feel I know him and trust him already. We’ve been friends since December ’99. When can a girl like me say that this is love? We’re both 24. What are the signs that you’re in love? Can you help me please? Thanks a lot! — Clueless Lass

I don’t think there is any rush in getting to the "next stage" especially as he’s abroad. I suggest that you wait for him to propose rather than for you to take the initiative. Don‘t assume that he is seriously in love with you. If he is, then he should have proposed by now. He must be biding his time because he wants to be sure. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. — Mai Mai

Making him take the next step depends on how comfortable you are with each other. At your age, you should be able to communicate with each other in an adult manner. Talk to him and ask what his intentions are. You may be seriously in love with him, but it is wise for you to be sure that the feelings you have are mutual. In the meantime, celebrate your single blessedness. — China

If you know him and trust him enough, then maybe you should be able to talk to him frankly. It must be hard to manage a long-distance relationship but open communication lines would be an edge. Talk to him about your feelings, your worries and your doubts. Try to draw out his thoughts too so you’ll understand your situation better. Just don’t hurry up love. — Tingting

* * * Infatuation or love?

Dear Mai Mai, China and Tingting,

I would like to seek your advice on behalf of my classmate and friend. He is desperately trying to get in touch with an image model and actress. I don’t think its an obsession on his part but he is infatuated and finds this pretty lady, whom he says has talent for singing, a very wonderful person. He often tells me that he always reads her column and he adores her style of writing. Please tell me what is the best thing for him to do. Thank you very much for helping me and my friend. — Oliver

Your friend’s best tool is the Internet. He can surf if the actress has her own website, then try to write her there. If she doesn’t, then he should either write to the newspaper editor or since she is an image model, he should write the company she models for. If all he wants is to let the girl know she is "a wonderful person," then a letter would suffice. — Mai Mai

Usually, columnists provide their readers an e-mail address where they can send their feedback. I suggest that your friend try this medium first. If the writer doesn’t provide an e-mail ad, you can surf the Internet and look for the website of the product she is endorsing. If she’s an actress, she might be connected with a television station. Write to that channel and hope that your mail will be forwarded to her. — China

The easiest way to get in touch with anyone who writes a column is to write the newspaper directly. Editors make it a point to direct mails to the proper person so I’m sure this girl will receive it. While it doesn’t guarantee a reply, the girl would know that there’s someone who is reaching out to her. — Tingting