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The heart of Halloween | Philstar.com
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Young Star

The heart of Halloween

E-MALE - E-MALE by Argee Guevarra -
Halloween has always been a source of excitement for E-Male. Contrary to gossip, this excitement doesn’t stem from the presence of maltreated pumpkins or the chance to extort sweet treats from unsuspecting neighbors (E-Male does admit that such traditions do help set the mood). And although E-Male finds just as much pleasure in dressing up as the undead and various comic book heroes, the essence of Halloween is more than simple masks and costumes.

Halloween is the year’s second take at Valentine’s. It comes at the perfect time — at the end of the year like some sort of "re-evaluation period" to assess the status of a new relationship. It’s also a golden opportunity to spring new ones right off the bat. Romance is just as prevalent a theme during Halloween as it is in Valentine’s. With All Soul’s Day following closely, it’s a chance to get together with that special someone before you’re whisked off to the cemetery in a car full of family all ready to spend a wonderful holiday of mourning and sentimental contemplation.

And the best part is, Halloween is NOT Valentine’s at all (in the commercial sense anyway), skipping any shred of romantic obligation it might’ve had. Candlelit dinners and chocolate truffles have been quite tastefully traded off for disfigured pumpkins and cheap imitations of mangled cadavers. Uptight cocktail outfits are switched for do-it-yourself costumes and romantic pleasantries are replaced with unadulterated frankness. In short — the perfect atmosphere for new found "love."

At first glance, it seems a bit over the edge to be knocking on Cupid’s door during a time that highlights the morbid and the macabre. Something too extreme even for E-Male. But it actually makes perfect sense. Shouldn’t love be celebrated as the twisted, dysfunctional and bizarre reality that it really is?

However, if you don’t have a significant other to re-evaluate or a buried romance to resurrect, thank the local party scene for setting up the ideal season for single people to hook-up and mingle. With the number of Halloween parties rising every year, there is definitely no excuse not to run into that especially attractive young soul (no pun intended). And even if you’ve already landed a significant other to re-evaluate, but have decided that a fling with that especially attractive young soul wouldn’t hurt, Halloween is the night made for a little hokey-pokey.

Halloween has offered itself to be that one glorious opportunity to dress up, make-believe and give yourself a total identity makeover for exactly one evening — and one evening alone. The grand playground for the one-time incognitos and the closet schizos. It’s that once in a year shindig that beckons every party-going soul to drop who they are and pick up someone else’s sick (or not-so-sick) personality. And if you went on and did something a little bit too crazy (which you hopefully wouldn’t remember anyway), then just nonchalantly blame it on the costume as ever intoxicating Pinoy Mardi Gras would allow.

But stepping back a few centimeters from over-romanticism — Halloween is still about good ol’ trick-or-treating. It does seem a bit childish, looking back at the rather silly tradition of walking from house to house asking/threatening unwary civilians for candies (something that closely resembles basic political blackmail), but the 21st century is proving to be an age of redefinition — the term "trick or treat" included. Trick or treat has evolved to be just as fulfilling for adults as it is for kids. Of course, this would all depend on your definition of "trick or treat."

For the major leaguers, it isn’t about jawbreakers and candy bars anymore. And as suitably macabre as it may seem — it’s all about flesh. The night of Halloween houses the finest string of costume parties this side of a Jon Santos stand-up.

Most of which require an outfit or two for entrance. E-Male does enjoy an evening of role-playing in the bedroom every night or so, but Halloween definitely takes the cake. Gothic chicks abound — all clad in scantily tight-knit leather, with dark lipstick and matching mascara. And for the little boy in everyone, nothing beats spotting that wonderful brunette traipsing about in her Wonder Woman costume. A big fat 100 on E-Male’s kink-o-meter — from nurses to cheerleaders, superheroes to animals — and even if you like your women plain and simple, there’s always that cute, petite (yet oh-so-fine) lass who was just too shy for a costume.

It’s fairly obvious what "treats" E-Male has in mind during the most festive witching hour of the year. And after a few rounds of alcohol (few always being a miscalculation), the "tricks" are sure to follow.

But it’s always wise to play it safe and to plant at least one foot firmly on the dead ground before completely drifting off into Halloween party land. Of course it’s all in the spirit of the Headless Horseman and FreddyKreuger, but just remember that you are just in costume. E-Male finds nothing wrong with playing footsie now and then, but does reinforce the idea of not getting too attached (especially when the alcohol starts to flow).

Countless Superman wannabes have taken their role too much too heart and have attempted to fly (usually from the dance floor to the bar) a bit too high in search of their Lois Lane. On more drastic cases, a frightening number of Raggedy Andys have been discovered to completely forget that they had actually gone to the party with a supposed Raggedy Ann. In the end, not only do these avid role-players wake up with a murderous hangover but with a shattered relationship and a pair of missing underwear (it’s better left unsaid where the underwear went).

When hunting for some action, E-Male is quick to advise young Padawans to "never bring a date; Just bring some girls." Halloween is an estranged evening for the lovers, the loved and the loving. With an established ambience of dark alleys, underlit backrooms and low burning cultic candles, the opportunity for intimacy is brought to the next level. For those too sick of an over-commercialized sense of romance in today’s society, Halloween is an alternative Valentine’s — elegantly carved of the sentimental and romantic fat. It’s straight to the meat, my friends.

The heart of it all, just as with any celebration (be it with a pair of pumpkins or an over decorated Christmas tree), is to simply kick back and enjoy. As for E-Male, if you’ve got a tight-bodied Gothic chick to come with that — even better. A tight-bodied Gothic chick without a costume is the best! Just don’t forget to put on a mask. And please, for the love of God, don’t forget to take it off when you’re done with whatever you may have intended to do.

(E-Male welcomes e-mail at argee@justice.com)

COUNTLESS SUPERMAN

E-MALE

HALLOWEEN

HEADLESS HORSEMAN

JON SANTOS

LOIS LANE

MALE

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