Petite, not petty

Marc,

I am in third year high school from an exclusive school for girls. I’m only 4’11. My problem is that I look very young so boys don’t realize that I am a high school student. I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t know how to communicate with them. — Petite

Being in third year and not having a boyfriend is not so unusual, so don’t feel too left out about that to begin with. As for your height, here in the Philippines you may notice that there is a large section of the population who are not very tall. Many may see this as a disadvantage, but personally, I don’t. In fact, there are many guys who are attracted to petite girls, myself included.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, many guys have different tastes in what they find physically appealing. While society stereotypes an attractive woman as being tall, voluptuous etc., there are many exceptions to this rule in the same way that not all girls want a tall strapping guy for a boyfriend. Not only that, but you’re still young and it’s possible that you have a few more years to grow. However, whether or not you do grow should not make that much of a difference in your long-term love life.

What you may try doing is going out with friends of yours from school in a group with their guy friends. They may initially think of you as a kid if you look physically young, but as long as you can carry a conversation as well as the rest of them, they should soon treat you as one of the gang. So the important thing here is not so much looking your age, but acting your age.

I’ve had a couple of girlfriends in the past who were only an inch or two taller than you, but were readily accepted by my friends and certainly by me as equals, not because of their stature, but their personality. Admittedly, there are sometimes some close-minded people who cannot look past appearances, especially in the shallow depths of high school society, but just remember that in the real world there are a lot more people who are more accepting.

In fact, while your youthful looks may be a burden now, you will count them as a blessing later on in life. While your batchmates will start looking older, you will still be able to pass for someone just out of college, but with the added benefit of having the maturity and life experience of someone your age. Don’t look at it as a problem, but rather turn it to your advantage. Those guys may not be paying you much attention now, but just wait till you see them again when they hit middle age and start gawking at the beautiful and youthful girl they didn’t mind in high school. Don’t worry, yours will be an ugly duckling turning into a swan-type story that will have all the other ducks in the pond green with envy. — Marc

* * * Creatine A Better Body

Marc,

Hello there! To start things up, I have this problem. I’m already 25 years old but my physique looks like that of a teenager. I’m 5’2" and 100 lbs. I want to build some muscle or gain more weight. I read about this creatine food supplement. Can this help me? And is this safe? Or would you rather give me a gain weight program for me to follow? Thanks in advance and God bless your column. — George

I can really relate to your predicament. I used to be a bit of a stick figure myself. Sometimes when I look back at my pictures from when I started modeling years ago I’m amazed that I ever got a modeling job looking like the coat hanger I was. Even if I worked out, it was difficult for me to gain weight and mass. You sound like you’re in a similar position, and therefore probably have an ectomorphic body like mine. You can eat a lot, but it’s difficult to put on weight. This may seem like a disadvantage right now, but it also means that you are a lot less likely to get fat as you get older.

So, how do you put on the pounds? For me, creatine made a huge difference. It pushed me beyond that invisible barrier and up to the next level in my workout and size. It is safe if used correctly, and a very popular supplement among professional athletes abroad. Creatine is a naturally occurring product that your body makes on its own, and can also be found in lean red meat. What it basically does is get absorbed into your muscles and increase your strength, speed up your recovery time, and help repair your muscles after a workout. How this makes you bigger is as follows:

By increasing your strength, you can push your body that much more and lift heavier weights than you could normally. If you are on a gaining program this is important as you want to concentrate more on lifting heavy for shorter reps, rather than more reps with lighter weight. The heavy, short reps strains the muscle more and therefore rebuilds bigger.

Similar to this is your faster recovery time. Recovery time basically means the time it takes for you to recover your strength and energy before the next set. During this time your heart rate heads back towards its normal rest rate and your muscles start to contract from the stretch and strain of the recent rep. By speeding this time up, you are able to do the next set soon after the last. This compounds the effect of the last set onto the next one, which strains the muscle even more because it is still freshly pumped from the last reps. An ideal rest between sets is about 30 seconds for optimum effect.

Perhaps the most important part of your workout is the rest stage. I’ve mentioned how muscles get strained and stretched during your workout. What is in fact happening is that they are tearing ever so slightly, and the growth occurs when they repair themselves bigger and stronger than before. By aiding in repairing these muscles, creatine builds and strengthens them faster.

Another important supplement for building lean muscle mass is protein. Your body needs to draw on reserves of protein in order to repair your muscles during the rest stage, so the more protein you make available (read: eat) during that time, the better. The most productive repairing times are right after your workout, and that same night when you go to sleep. These are the times when you should try and supplement your regular diet with extra protein such as amino acids, protein powder supplements, or natural sources such as chicken breast, lean red meat and egg whites (avoid the yoke which is full of cholesterol).

If you do decide to use creatine and protein supplements, make sure you read the directions carefully and follow them. This is especially important with the creatine loading and maintenance phase and dosages, as it will have a big impact on the effects of the product. There are a lot of different brands out there, some pure, and others with a combined glucose-based transport system. If you get the plain, try and take it with a glucose drink such as Gatorade or grape juice. Also, as with all supplements, try and cycle their use (e.g. use it for two months, then stop for another two months). This is not only for health reasons, but also so that your body will not become supplement dependent and stop producing its own reserves of creatine.

Lastly, push yourself in the gym. Get a training partner and spot each other for your last reps of each set so you really hit your peak effort. At the same time, make sure you give your muscles the opportunity to rest a good 48 hours between workouts as your body needs this time to repair and grow. If you stay focused, you should be seeing marked improvement in just a few months. Good luck! — Marc

* * * Sore Loser

Dear Marc,

I need your advice.

Some time back a friend and I had our eyes on this cute girl at a party. She seemed to fancy me even though my friend was the lady killer, so when he made a bet with me that he could seduce her first, I accepted the bet.

The girl and I had dinner the next evening, and when she then invited me for coffee at her place I knew I had won the bet. However, as we headed for the bedroom, I couldn’t go through with it without telling her about the bet. I thought that she would find out eventually otherwise and would feel really miserable.

Yet, instead of being grateful for my honesty, she threw me out of her apartment with my pants in my hand.

So Marc, how do you understand women? What happened to honesty being the best policy? — Confused

Wow, you really are confused. Have you learned nothing from watching countless teen movies with the same plot? The cardinal rule is: Don’t place a bet on a girl. Ever. (Unless she has four legs and is racing in the Kentucky Derby.) Either you’ll admit it and she’ll hate you for it, or she’ll find out from someone else... and still hate you for it. It is in fact a lose-lose situation.

OK, so you found the girl attractive, and obviously she liked you too. Great. She invited you over and you both hit it off. Even better. Now instead of enjoying each other’s company and letting things take their natural course, you’ve already messed things up before they began by making everything you do just a step towards winning a bet. It’s basically one big lie and makes you a big fake.

Really, you shouldn’t be too surprised with the outcome. Placing bets on seducing someone is pretty immature and reeks of too much testosterone and bravado and not enough common sense and respect. Not only that, but it really does objectify the person and treats them as a piece of meat. How would you like it if girls started placing bets on who could get you in the sack first. Might not sound so bad right now, but what if you really liked the girl? How would you feel after sharing a passionate night together and then have her roll out of bed, call her friends and say "OK, done. You guys owe me 50 bucks," and then leave. Perhaps to some incredibly desperate guys out there that wouldn’t sound so bad, but would you feel like such a stud if word got around that the only way you could get a girl was for her to want to win a bet?

The argument that you told her about the bet before you guys really got up to anything doesn’t exactly wipe the slate clean the way you may have expected. Sure, it’s better that you told her, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that you agreed to the bet in the first place. She’s still going to feel pretty lousy about being a pawn in a game. The only way to handle this kind of situation is to not get into it in the first place. Might I suggest that the next time your friends suggest wagering on a girl, decline the bet, but try taking out the girl on your own? I think you’ll find that the winnings are a lot more fulfilling that way. — Marc

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Send questions to question_marc@hotmail.com