What a Girl Wants

Once upon a time, thousands of years ago, there was a cave man named Og. There was also a cave woman named Iga. They lived in the same cave people community where there were others like them. On some days, Og would have his hairy arm around Iga’s not so hairy shoulders. They would stretch their lips and look—what we now call—happy. Yet, on other days, Iga would not let Og near her. Iga would run into the cave and make strange noises to her cave woman posse. Sometimes water fell from her eyes, and sometimes her middle finger would rise as she furiously shouted – "OG!" All this time, when Og couldn’t understand why Iga suddenly shut him out, Og would be with other cave men, drinking fizzy drinks, while watching other Ogs play with rocks. He never knew why…or never bothered to find out why Iga was this way. He just thought that perhaps on some days the cave god loved him, and on other days forgot all about him.

We’ve come along way from Og and Iga, yet our instincts and inner Ogs and Igas are still intact. The crucial difference is, we have enough that we have much more than "ooga booga" to communicate with. And trust me, communicate we shall.

Og, there are many reasons why Iga locked you out of that cave. Here are some that still hold true up to now:

YOU PROBABLY SMELLED.

Iga is a clean cave woman… She likes flowers, sweet honey and almond oil. But you, you probably smelled like dust, sweat, grime – more aptly, manure. You also must have looked it. Iga does not expect Gucci saber tooth tiger pants, or antique dinosaur wing tips, but any clean, nice smelling sheath would do. And please! If you can’t fix your hair or clean your face, be at least kind enough to swat the flies around you.

BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR "OG-NESS."

Why are men so defensive about their sexuality? Why are they so afraid of the gay factor? (Yes, there were cave gays, trust me.) A real man would be comfortable recognizing that another man is good-looking.

NOTICE SUBTLE DIFFERENCES.

Leopard skin is not the same as a cheetah skin. When Og and Iga fought, he must have confused two issues as one. We women are very particular about details. If you can’t get it, at least be sensitive.

OG MIGHT’VE BEEN TOO PROUD.

Men have to let go of their pride. There is a HUGE difference between pride and integrity, in Iga’s world there is little place for the former. Men just have to make some room for humility—not all the time –once in awhile.

WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH SEX?

Perhaps Og stared too long at another cave woman’s breasts or beat his monkey too often. Honestly, we do not understand why sex is such a huge part of being a man. Why watch only the nude parts of a movie? Why buy magazines with silicon breasted women? Why? Why? Why?

Of course, Iga and Og also had great times. There were things that Og did to make Iga’s provincial cave heart flutter. To this day, we women still appreciate these things:

HAPPY TO BE WITH ME!

Og was proud to have Iga on his arm. He loved to introduce her to his friends and family. And there was comfort to know that she could do exactly the same. Don’t be ashamed of us! And don’t give us reasons to be ashamed of you. It is an incredible plus to know that we can take you home to mom and dad, and they’ll love you as much as we do.

A MAN WITH SMARTS

Og could sometimes talk about poetry and how the stars shine. We love— absolutely love—an intelligent man. A pretty face is no good if all you’ve got to show for is "duh." Intelligence and knowledge is incredibly sexy. However, beware! This has to come naturally. We know when you’re just trying to impress us. No pretenses please!

When you make us feel special. To each her own. There is no one formula for this, but all women like to feel special, important and loved. It might be flowers for some, or recognition of equality for others.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Og always respected Iga. He never made her do or think anything she didn’t want to. We love it when you respect our feelings and opinions. It’s an incredibly important step away from the machismo culture we despise. Here’s a plus. It’s even better when respect comes with sensitivity.

HA-HA-HA!

Og knew just how to make Iga smile and laugh. Plain as that.

Og would’ve loved to have this sneak into what Iga needed. It probably would have kept him from going bald due to all that head-scratching. However, in the end, despite their roller coaster ride of confusion, Og and Iga lived happily ever after. Why? Because they just simply loved each other.