Red Alert! Red Alert!

Young Star Central Investigating Unit recently discovered a flying robot robot hovering over the radio airwaves. Codenamed Quarashi, the prototype – contrary to common belief that it originated from Nippon land – was seen coming from a small part in the northwestern hemisphere, particularly the land where the sun barely sets, the geysers are always hot, and where the oddness of Bjork had originated: Iceland. Now, there are reports of this new android prototype conquering the world. And with supersonic speed and radioactive intensity, it’s only hours before its terrorism hits global proportions. Although we are not certain of their motives, all we know is that they want to be heard.

We currently have a model of its high-grade ammunition in our hands, a 12-track CD called Jinx, and we have dissected it for better understanding. We discovered that nothing could stop this Quarashi menace. So for the sake of humanity and global order, we are currently starting our very own peace treaty between this dreaded force and we advise you, dear readers, to do the same. It wouldn’t be long until it reaches our radios. There is nothing we can do to beat it.

The following is a step-by-step manual to being a true-blue Quarashi clone:

Step One: Know your master

Don’t let the funny spelling and alienating accent marks fool you. Quarashi is a four-man army capable of destruction, disorder and disorientation. "We’re a band that comes from nowhere but listens to the whole world and then produces a record," explains mastermind Solvi Blondal, the band’s designated producer and drummer. But that doesn’t mean the band comes in peace. Them being in the confines of a country no one knows triggered the scheme of global domination. Of course, their rebellious lifestyle as Reykjavik’s underground thrasher scene front men blew it out of proportion. That’s where it all started, in the Reykjavik community skate park during one of Solvi’s mandatory community service. He has been a troublemaker since then and eh hooked up with other bad boys Hossi Olafsson, the unapologetic vocalist, and Stoney Fjelsted, the band’s designated rhyme master and Omar Swarez, also a killer rapper. This was in 1996.

Step Two: Know the Name

Quarashi actually means "spiritual," a word Stoney read from a book and used as a tag name. The name invaded Reykjavik’s streets even before the band was established. It was there, written all over the city’s walls.

On their sixth year together, Quarashi has come up with two certified gold albums, a remix of Prodigy’s "Diesel Power". And now, Jinx.

You have every reason to feel safe. Quarashi is under control, and all seems fine. Only louder.