A Mother’s Day without Mama

I am grateful for the parents that the Lord has given me. I have a mother whose shadow never leaves me, whose hand is ready to give even before I think of asking. Thank you for those times, Mom! I love you and Happy mother’s Day!

I keep secrets that I have never told anyone. I keep letters I have never sent. I once had a card that I never got to give. It read:

I would be lying if I said I know exactly what you’re feeling right now. I would be lying if I said I have experienced the pain that you’re experiencing now in its gravity. I would be fooling both of us if I said I could relate completely. But one thing I know for sure and I can say is that, I’ll be waiting patiently until I see that smile across your face once again.

This was true. I never had to endure the death of someone close to me. My grandfather passed away when I was about seven or eight years old, and I can remember him only vaguely. My only memory of him would be the way he looked whenever I’d pass by his house where he sat and read the papers in his pajamas and glasses. I’d remember my dad sobbing like a lost child and the way it had pained me to see him like that.

I never got to give the card to Rillo. He is one of my favorite people. In the short span of time that I have been friends with Ronald Rillo, (I fondly call him Rillo), he has touched me in a way that is truly unique.

We sometimes think that everyone is fake and there is only a handful of people who are for real. Yun si Rillo. If there’s one word to describe him, I would say real.

During a hectic and stressful day in school, I’d welcome a chat with Rillo — he is very candid and child like. He’s the type who’d blurt out things that weren’t meant to be jokes but they would just as funny. Rillo never fails to make me smile — never. It’s pretty difficult to explain to you what this friend of mine is like.

I was shocked to learn that his mom was in a coma. I could not imagine how this could happen to such a good person’s mom. He did not deserve this and I was sure his mother did not deserve the pain either. I had never met Mrs. Rillo, yet the news struck me as if it had happened to someone who was really close to me.

There are many precious lessons life has to offer. Rillo taught me one of them. This lesson makes us pilgrims in this life’s journey and helps us realize the value of the beautiful gift of life.

I am sharing with you Ron’s eulogy and as I have been fortunate enough to read Ron’s letter to his mother, I am sharing this with you as well.

A Different Mother’s Day By Ronald Rillo

Dear Mama,

Today is a very special day we celebrate. A day where we thank and show appreciation to our mothers for all the hard work they have done for their family. This is your day, Mama! You have always been a great mom to us — the best mom a son could ever have. You have never failed to show us your unconditional love. You think of your children before yourself. You will do anything just to give us a comfortable life. You take care of us with a seeming effortlessness. It is so natural for you to show your love and affection to us. You would rather be hurt first, than us. You always shield and protect us from any hurt or harm that we may encounter. You give us comforting words that no one can ever give whenever we have problems. Just a hug from you makes make everything fine. You have always served as an inspiration to us. We get our strength from you.

Mama, I remember the day two years ago when we found out you had a brain tumor. I was so afraid that I might lose you and was so scared about what the future would be without you. But when I saw you, there was not a single tear from you. You were even smiling and you just hugged me tight. You told me that it was going to be okay and that everything was in God’s hands. You said I just needed to pray to God. I felt how strong you were. You really fought just for your children. You were so tough and you did not give up easily.

You never, ever complained. I saw such strong faith in you. You accepted everything that God gave you. There were no words of bitterness, only wisdom and inspiration, until you finally recovered and went back to the life you used to have. Then I realized how much you really loved us your children and how powerful our faith was.

Little did I know that everything has a big purpose. God made you an example of strength and faith in Him to us, your children. It was a preparation for a bigger obstacle, no longer for you but for us, your children. This was all in God’s master plan. One day, you collapsed and fell into a coma. "Brain stroke," the doctors called it. Mama, this was the toughest of them all. Seeing you in bed and seemingly lifeless. I wished hard that you would wake up and see the sun once again. I was always talking to you and telling you to be strong and keep on fighting. "Mama, I’m here... please be strong I still need you here! I love you!" these were the words I kept telling you. Many have given up so easily but I again saw how hard you tried to fight.

I have never lost hope in you and in God. I never questioned God’s plans. As what you have told me before, I remained strong and left everything to God. Everything that happens to us has a purpose, and the answer is for us to find.

I remembered Mother’s Day last year, we were in Baguio for almost a month. My brother and I gave you a bouquet of roses and a very special card. We were so happy then. We made you feel really special in the simplest ways we could think of. That was the first time we gave you flowers on Mother’s Day. But I did not know that it was going to be the last Mother’s Day we were going to celebrate. This will be the first time that we’ll celebrate Mother’s Day without you. And I know it will never be the same again. But even though you are not here with us anymore we will still celebrate it. It is still your special day, Mama. Wherever you are right now, you will always be in my heart no matter what. Thank you for everything. I love you so much. I miss you.

Your Loving Son,
Ron

Ron Rillo’s Eulogy For His Mother

My last battle was fought two years ago and I thought then it was over. This was when my Mom was diagnosed with brain tumor. I went through tears, fears and loneliness. And after all that, things went pretty much back to normal. Everything seemed to be going right and I was happy. But of course, it did not happen in an instant. It took months before she recovered. It was during that time that I realized the true meaning of patience, courage and love. I thought I was stronger. I thought I had given my all. Then came a new battle. I thought it would be just like the first one but I was wrong. It was something deeper and different. It was something that changed my life again. Tears flowed again. I felt alone and weak.

There seemed to be this hurt and anger within that I couldn’t let out into the open and tell the world how painful it was. From all these came my realization of courage, unconditional love and faith in God, who has been my shield and might throughout this so-called new battle of mine. There have been a lot of barriers and voices that tried to keep me from holding on.

I quote them, "That is life. You just have to accept it." These were the words people tried to console me with. But then again, I held on with tremendous faith by my side and it kept telling me not to listen to what they said but rather continue believing in myself, my inner self. I never lost hope because I knew that she would try to get better, somehow.

And she did. She did not let death take her without a fight. Her strength came from all the adversities she struggled with throughout her life. What kept her going was us, her beloved children. It was she who showed me the true meaning of unconditional love. She did everything just to give me and my brothers the good life she wanted us to have. She didn’t worry us about what she truly felt.

She kept all the heartaches to herself and never ever complained; for she believed that she had to be strong for us, her children.

My brothers and I, in return, have tried our very best to make her proud of us, for she richly deserves to feel that we truly love her — unconditionally.

Realizing, that Mama’s death has its purpose, made it easier for my brothers and I to accept this reality in our lives. What she had instilled in us was faith in God always. And that is what we have done. We offered everything up to God. He is the only one who knows what is right for us. It was about time for us to find out on our own, our purpose in life. And I am truly convinced that this new battle I call has served its purpose.