Where Do I Go From Here? (Part I)

Have you ever been perennially depressed, consistently edgy, and perpetually dazed? Have you had those days when you simply couldn’t get out of bed because your body is just so heavy and your mind just too dead to function? Be comforted. You are not alone.

In this chaotic world filled with loneliness and instability, realize that it’s okay to have a dysfunctional life infused with complications. You’re not the only one going through this battle.

"Where do I go from here?" you ask.

There are only two answers to that question: Somewhere or nowhere. And it’s up to you to decide on which one it’s going to be.

I understand that it’s easier said than done. I know because I’ve been in that state, too. That time, I was filled with arrogance. It wasn’t easy to admit that I was lost especially when "life maps" were provided. (The self-help publishing industry is still booming, isn’t it?) But the truth of the matter is, I was. Lost, that is. I didn’t know where I was headed and further clueless on how to get there. I was 22 at the time. So you can just imagine how I was at 19, fresh form college, asked (if not pressured) to take a course I was disinterested in, and pressured by the fact that all my classmates had already gotten jobs in prestigious companies. I guess that’s just the way it is. Or was.

Yup. Welcome to the wonderful world of reality. And as you accept that diploma, so do you accept the passport to the much-anticipated yet highly overrated world of adulthood.

The most ironic thing about graduating is that while in school people can’t wait to get out and finish. And those who have finished wish they could have stayed in school much longer. School sucks. Tests, theses, and assignments aren’t exactly a field trip. But work’s difficult, too. Results, presentations and deadlines are not that great either. So a lot get caught in what author Iyanla Vanzant calls "The Meantime" wherein times are literally just that, mean. No productivity. No focus. No sense of purpose. But the meantime need not be dull time because there are steps viable to take to emerge from the quarter-life crisis. You can get out of that hole. You can because others can. I have.

Read on and try to absorb this somewhat neurotic (but nevertheless helpful) path to achieving the one thing that counts the most: growth.

Step # 1: Know What You Want

"Which road should I take," asks Alice.

"Which way are you headed," inquires the cat.

"I don’t much care," answers Alice.

"Then it doesn’t much matter which road you take," says the cat.

Alice in Wonderland

Mommy told me to play the piano, so I played the piano. Mommy told me to dance the ballet, so I danced. Mommy told me to take tennis lessons, so I took tennis lessons. At the end of the day, I could neither play piano, dance ballet, nor play tennis. In all these activities, I lacked the most important thing – passion. Passion is the word of the new generation. It basically answers the question: What do I want to do? For some people, their passions are overt. Good for them. Yet for others finding that orgasmic feeling is as difficult as having an orgasm. It’s not necessarily easy. It’s not supposed to be easy, so don’t panic. Finding passion is like searching for a needle in a haystack. The first step to finding your passion emanates from learning what your true interests are versus your capabilities and/or potential.

Be realistic. Just because you’re interested in modeling doesn’t mean you can be a model. There are limitations to everything. Ambition is free. But don’t go overboard with it, too. Know what your God-given talents are. Is it finance, sports, or arts? From these potentials, narrow down your options to those that pique your curiosity. In doing that, you have already scaled your choices from a million to a handful.

Be focused. When you’ve already pinpointed your top choices, focus on nurturing your skills. If you took a course related to your chosen field, then what you’ve learned must be able to help you. If not, learn from others, read up, research, and imbibe the nature of the field. Live, eat, and breathe it. Training is always good for your own personal and professional growth.

Be determined. Sometimes you just have to believe in the spirit of the world’s most popular tag line: "Just Do It!" If in your heart, you know that’s what you want then don’t hold back. Fight the battle. Swim the ocean. Weather the storm. And if, in a couple of years, you realize it’s not working out, I know this sounds cheesy, but at least you tried. Just because it doesn’t work out the first time, doesn’t mean it won’t on the second, third, fourth…

Step # 2: Don’t Leave It to Fate

"Energy and persistence conquer all things." Benjamin Franklin

In Sean Covey’s book 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, he stressed the importance of being proactive. It is as simple as taking charge of your won life. This entails making your own decisions, going for your goals, and not leaving anything to chance. A lot of teenagers in this day and age have become "cruisers". They literally go with the flow and merely accept where the wind blows them. Don’t! Think then do. Create your own path. At least, you won’t have to look back and ponder on the ifs and the could-have-beens.

(To be continued)