Wave to go

It was probably the most surreal sight since Robert Duvall’s "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" surfing scene in Apocalypse Now. A three meter-high wave slicing at speeds of up to 50 kilometers per hour, bearing riders who effortlessly performed all sorts of strange acrobatic feats upon the water’s surface to enthrall a breathless, awe-stricken crowd. And all this right in the middle of... the Quirino Grandstand!

The Siemens Mobile Wave Tour was recently in town, bringing for the first time to Asia Wave Loch’s Bruticus Maximus, the "perfect stationary wave," that "rides like a mountain" (but don’t take our word for it — we were too chicken to even get our feet wet) and introducing to these shores the hybrid sport of flowboarding, a so-called cross of snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding and wakeboarding. The behemoth wave is created by linking 12 ocean-going containers and four mammoth submersible pumps, which push almost 500,000 liters a minute into a sheet wave of water (Honey calls it the "perfect shower"). The wave-like shape created permits riders on specially-designed "flowboards" to slide down, carve a turn and even jump on the entire simulated wave surface, which also allows professional riders to perform advanced maneuvers such as "360s," "720s" and "flips" without breaking their necks (hopefully).

Likewise in tow was a veritable who’s who of international board champions that left local board fanatics like our friend SD San Diego swooning in their wake: Matt Hoy, Conan Hayes, Jason Prior and Bill Bryan, among many others.

But even more interesting than watching the foreign pros in action was seeing how our local guys would measure up to the wave. Except for four lucky surfers — Bjorn Pabon, Dom Cui, Alex Resurreccion and Louie Tortuya — who had a three-day headstart at the Wave House in Durban, South Africa, all of the Filipino participants had barely two days to train on the machine for the local competition. Since our friends from PinoyCentral Neyney Guevara and King Bernas wanted a first-hand experience of getting eaten up and spat out by the Bruticus (while Honey preferred to stay high and dry), we managed to score an audience with the homegrown team, who, for the most part during training, were soundly trounced by the powerful artificial wave.

And soundly trounced Louie Tortuya was, as early as his stint in South Africa. He came off the wave with a couple of stitches in the head (a result of a wayward flowboard bonking him on the noggin) and torn ligaments, and consequently was relegated to cheering from the sidelines during the local competition. Louie, a 23-year-old Fil-Am exchange student from UCLA, wasn’t spared the injuries despite his years of experience as a surfer, snowboarder and skateboarder. "Flowboarding is somewhat like snowboarding because of the heel-toe action," Louie told us, doing a step-ball-change maneuver on his bandaged ankle. "But it’s completely different from any of the board sports, and is definitely unlike surfing."

Another casualty was Ian Saguan, 20, a native of La Union who has a surfing championship under his belt but had his arm in a cloth sling (autographed by some of the surfing greats currently in town). "Nahigaan ko yata e," he explained when we asked what kind of catastrophe caused his injury. Ian, who taught himself surfing from watching others ride the waves in his hometown, found the artificial wave lots of fun but, like Louie, couldn’t wait to get back to the ocean. "Surfing pa rin ako. Kakaibang sarap sa surfing, mga moments na hindi nauulit."

Twenty-one-year-old Karl Pfeifer already has 12 years of La Union surfing experience as well as the First San Juan Surfing Competition championship to boast of, thus making him a favorite to win the local flowboarding competition (not to mention the adulation of the female members of the audience). Apparently a natural on the flowboard despite several nasty spills during training, he refutes any similarity between his sport of choice and flowboarding. "The power of the artificial waves comes from the pumps in front, unlike the ocean waves. The pressure on the flowboard comes from your back foot." And although he did walk away with top honors in the local flowboard championship, he said he still preferred the ocean, "kasi sa dagat, walang pila," referring to the amusement-park line of riders waiting to cruise the simulated wave.

Siargao-born Rodolfo Alcala, at the tender age of 18, holds the distinction of being the only Filipino to ever beat out foreigners in an international competition (the 1999 International Siargao Cup). "Sa umpisa, mahirap ang flowboarding," he admits, "pero after two days, nasasanay na. Sa surfing kasi hinihila ka ng alon pabalik, sa flowboarding tinutulak ka. Masaya naman ang flowboarding, pero mas gugustuhin ko ang dagat kasi walang flowboarding sa Siargao!"

Alex Resurreccion, 25, was one of the fortunate locals who got to try out the double-break permanent wave machine in South Africa. With the Wave Loch machines, he says, "You get a perfect barrel every time, which somehow spoils you, because people think that surfing is the same thing. So when people watching us on the artificial wave see us getting wiped out, their reaction is, ‘akala ko ba marunong kayo?’ They don’t know that flowboarding is very different; it has nothing to do with surfing except for the water. You could take someone off the street and pit them against a surfer and it probably wouldn’t make any difference."

Other surfers/newbie flowboarders we got to hobnob with during the break before the competition were 25-year-old Bryan Lassiter from Borongan, Eastern Samar, champion of the 1999 First Eastern Samar Inaugural Surfing Crown, who commented that the artificial wave was "a lot faster than an ocean wave, which goes usually only 20 km. per hour; sa machine, umaabot ng 40 km. per hour."

The youngest of the bunch at 17, Dionisio "Dodo" Espejos (2001 Siargao Cup Champion), 22-year-old Joel Faraon of Dingalan, Aurora and 20-year-old Jun Feitas of La Union agree: "Ang hirap nyan (referring to the machine), iba ang alon." Manila resident Dom Cui, 24, another Durban trainee, said he was getting the hang of it, while Edmund Mendoxa, 28, of Baler, Aurora, an eight-time surfing champion, who went on to land in the top six semi-finalists of the local competition, said he hated the "washing machine" part of the Bruticus most of all — that part of the wave which chews you up like dirty laundry after a wipe out, leaving you helplessly tumbling in the water until the lifeguard pulls you out. "Ibigay sa local surfer yan, matapos ng isang linggo, kayang kaya na," claims Olin Duaso, 31, also from Baler, and a veteran surfer with 17 years of experience. "Mas magaan ang flowboard, at saka mas safe (a fact disputed by Louie). Kaya lang, mas okay pa rin ang surfing...kasi walang mago-off ng alon sa dagat!"

Another crowd favorite, 19-year-old Luke Landrigan of San Juan, La Union, holder of junior championships from SMP-Billabong and the Fifth Aurora Baler Cup, placed third overall in the final competition. While he sorely missed the ocean (he had to make the trip back to La Union early the next day for a surfing competition), he liked the fact that in flowboarding, "maraming nanonood; sa surfing wala masyado kasi malayo ang dagat." And we’re sure that the teenaged female contingent of the audience appreciated the fact that they could see him do his stuff up close and personal!

Kage Gozum, 25, was the only female voice in the group (although there were no female competitors, whether local or foreign...hmph!) at the time we hung out with the rest of the guys. "It’s even different from boogie boarding," Kage said. "I’m sure females will hold their own as well on the wave because men and women are contending with the same elements." And apparently contending with the same set of natural reactions as well. While Kage was left speechless when introduced to top international surfer Matt Hoy, her male local counterparts couldn’t even remember their own names/fled the scene in sheer unworthiness when spoken to by World Pro Tour surfer Conan Hayes.

After our conversation with the competitors, it was time to watch them test their mettle. Surprisingly, the Pinoys made a good account of themselves quite before the cheering crowd, and it was difficult to believe that the same guys who were helplessly beaten to a pulp by the powerful Bruticus wave just a few hours earlier were now conquering it with aplomb — even pulling a few tricks using the board. And all this after barely two days of training! Unbelievable. The Bruticus Maximus had met its match in this determined group of young men, and we expect our local joes to give the foreign pros a run for their money as soon as they’ve had more training on the flowboard and the machine.

As the awards were being given out, the proud Filipino audience echoed the sentiments of 23-year-old Anthony Valdez, the pint-size Onyok of La Union, who bagged second place and mastered the Wave Loch: "Wooo-hooo!"

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The Court of Last Retort welcomes input from our readers in the form of jokes, anecdotes, or anything intimately or even remotely related to the legal profession. Though we pander to the passions and fashions of fellow lawyers, we have also been taken to task to probe the thoughts and haunts of your loveable but often misunderstood yuppies — the 25 to 35 generational flock — so we’d like to hear your take on things. No requests for legal advice or notarial services, please. Kindly e-mail your comments, suggestions, felicitations, criticisms, marriage proposals, libel complaints and other violent reactions through argee@justice.com and/or honey@oliveros.com.ph.