Wishful thinking

A national conscience. Genuine political will. Honest politicians and public officials. A sound judicial system. Justice for all (or none at all, hm?). A decent transportation system. Systematic and effective urban planning. A trustworthy government. A stable yet flourishing economy. A truly level playing field.

An environment-friendly waste disposal system. Appreciation for local culture and history. Clean public restrooms. Better highways. Hot pan de sal and kesong puti on everyone’s breakfast table. A brighter future for our children to look forward to.

Peace in Mindanao. Peace in the Cordilleras. Urban peace. Three trillion pesos to pay off our debts and still be out of the red. Freedom from corruption. Freedom from poverty. Freedom from Argee Guevarra. Err...

Greeting cards have all been sent, the Christmas rush is (hopefully) through. But we still have one wish to make...several wishes in fact, for one particularly deprived recipient. If you think Christmas shopping for loved ones is difficult, try pinning down the perfect present for thy country, ’tis of thee.

It’s not such a crazy notion to spread some nationwide Yuletide cheer, especially in these miserable times. The oil companies, notorious Scrooges they may be, have already done their part (somewhat); hopefully, the other captains of industry and government will follow suit. But as ordinary citizens already suffering from this economic and political slump, what else can we give our beloved nation apart from our unwavering commitment to its ideals and a resolute sense of patriotism (naks)?

Since wishes don’t cost a centavo, we decided to take a quick Christmas poll inspired by those maudlin noontime variety shows. If you could give anything at all, material or otherwise, to the Philippines this Christmas, what would it be? In other words..."Anong wish mo??"

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Better public transport and public roads. A subway would also be nice. No more bulok buses, trains and other public transport. This way, it wouldn’t be a hassle to commute. It would basically be cheaper than buying a car or paying expensive parking fees in the city. — Tiboy Catalan, 24, Programmer

Free condoms for everybody! — Maurits-ter Kuile, 30

My little present to the country this year is COLORS Philippines, a travel publication and information channel that aims to contribute in boosting the growth of domestic tourism, which has been sorely hit by recent negative developments. Our country has so much to offer but we lack the appropriate campaign materials to justify its beauty, and that is what we are going to show in the magazine. — Clang Garcia, 28, AdReflex International

My gift to the Philippines for Christmas: A REALITY CHECK! The biggest problem of the Philippines today is not facing its real problems, blaming everything and everybody else...but I like you guys anyway... :-) — Gilad "Sky" Kahn, 25

I’d buy everyone a copy of Okakura Kakuzo’s The Book of Tea for the help we need to find sublime beauty and live with dignified grace in our world of diesel fumes and childish politics. I’d also throw in a big bottle of gin because there will always be days when the diesel fumes win the battle. — Glen Carberry, 31, Entrepreneur

It sounds too common but if Philippines were a person, I’d give her a big bag full of PEACE OF MIND and a bigger bag full of SELF-ESTEEM. Or better yet, a big bag with five more ERAPS and bigger bag with 10 MIRIAMS. If still they find ERAP and MIRIAM worth supporting, GOD HELP US! — Larry Medenilla, 30, Resort owner/manager

If I had the political power or influence: It would be to help drafting and applying strong and efficient decentralization policies for the Philippines so that this beautiful and resourceful country (humanely and culturally) would find stronger and better development in all its regions, so that corruption won’t exist anymore and poverty would be a bad reminder of the ancient days. — Nathalie Lamy, 28, Researcher, and student of the Filipino language

Healthy reefs teeming with wonderful marine life all over, mula Aparri hanggang Jolo, a population bent on maintaining it, and no kidnappers!

We could become the world’s premier diving destination. People will have jobs, more people will get into the adventure lifestyle. National stress level will be lower overall. Everyone will be smiling more. — Neyney Guevara, 32, Dive instructor

I guess peace would be the standard answer to the question. But if I had powers much, much greater than those Harry Potter has, I would grant the gift of economic recovery to the Philippines. Since the final days of the Marcos regime, has the Philippines really experienced a true-blue economic recovery? Every president after Marcos has been harping on economic recovery. We still have to see the country rise from the ashes of economic slump.

Well, the government is not entirely to blame. Recent events contributed to the economic slump in the country and the rest of the world. Thanks to kidnappings and the Sept.11 fireworks, courtesy of that f*$%g Abu Sayyaf and Osama bin Laden (Osama ninyo talaga!).

I’ve been hearing news that many companies are downsizing or retrenching employees. It’s only sunk in recently that our economy is now really in the pits. Big names in Philippine business, names that connote business stability, have taken company downsizing as a strategy in order to survive the economic recession. It deeply saddens me that people who have grown to enjoy their work and love the company they work for have to leave, to allow the company to survive. — Van Vergara, 38, Network Specialist

A wish for each Filipino to be more considerate of other Filipinos in every thought, statement, and deed —then maybe people will walk or drive on the right lane and public officials and their families will stop stealing people’s money. I’ll wrap this gift with "self-respect" so no one will become too subservient.

BTW, para mas madali, I’d make everyone be like me na lang. Bwahahaha! — Cyril Flores, 32, Consultant

Harry Potter’s Magic Wand. So we can make our corrupt public officials, garbage and traffic problems, poverty, kidnappers, and terrorists disappear with one flick. — Jinggay Barroso, 32, Attorney

Lawmakers who care more for the country than they do for themselves and who can come up with laws that actually make sense. — Jason Peñaranda, 28, Physician

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As for the Court, aside from our long albeit incomplete list of Christmas wishes for the nation, we wish all our family, friends, and fellow citizens of the world a Blessed New Year...may the real reason for the season continue to inspire us through this turmoil and bring true happiness to all. God bless!

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The Court of Last Retort welcomes input from our readers in the form of jokes, anecdotes, or anything intimately or even remotely related to the legal profession. Though we pander to the passions and fashions of fellow lawyers, we have also been taken to task to probe the thoughts and haunts of your loveable but often misunderstood yuppies — the 25 to 35 generational flock — so we’d like to hear your take on things. No requests for legal advice or notarial services, please. Kindly e-mail your comments, suggestions, felicitations, criticisms, marriage proposals, libel complaints and other violent reactions through argee@justice.com and/or honey@oliveros.com.ph.