The Three Key Moments of Daily Parenting

Recently, over several weekends, my husband was out of town on mission for our Catholic community. Needless to say, I was a “single mom” during those times. I will not lie and say that those days were not challenging at times, but, thanks to God and my immediate family — especially my parents — and our new “Ate”/yaya at home, things were not that difficult for me.

I’m also grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from the Family Minute with Mark Merrill. I usually am able to glean valuable nuggets of wisdom from the regular e-mail updates sent out from the website.

One update in particular, which was sent out last week, really struck me. I’d like to share it with you here; it’s about “3 Ways to Parent Your Kids When It Counts:”

Do you know the three key moments of daily parenting?

Experts say that those key parenting times are when your child leaves for school, gets home from school, and when they go to bed. It might seem like a minor thing to be there in those moments, but research shows that boys in grades seven through twelve whose fathers were home during those times were less likely to be sexually active. And the same was true for girls whose mothers sent them off to school, greeted them when they got home and were there when their daughters went to bed at night. Kids just do better if they know someone is there for them.

I did a little research and found some facts here to support the excerpt above. This touched me so much and really made me think about our family life now. It may not be the “dream life” that I want and pray for (i.e. one where I am a fulltime, stay-at-home mom) but at least we are still blessed in so many ways.

Photo source here.

First of all, my husband and I both work in fulltime ministry; he with the Events Team of Couples for Christ and I as an editor at Shepherd’s Voice Publications, which publishes inspirational literature, and we are blessed with fair and flexible work schedules, which allow us to be hands-on parents most days. Yes, the financial gains of our work may not be as much as other working parents’ but we always say that the trade-off is the precious time we are able to spend with our children, who are still very young.

Ready for a Daddy-Daughter date — our little Therese LOVES these special times with her Papa!

Due to our work schedules, we are privileged to be able to be there (if not both of us, at least one of us) for our kids during the three key moments mentioned above. You see, because of the nature of our work, we are blessed to be able to homeschool our children (so that immediately covers the no. 1 and no. 2 “key moments” — since our kids don’t leave and come home from school because our home is our school).

One of Tim’s favorite bonding activities with his Papa — making up silly songs together.

Although we are currently discerning whether to continue doing so, we would still highly encourage other parents to at least consider and explore the option of teaching their children at home, especially for preschool and the lower grades. Contrary to what others may think, homeschooling fosters deeper relationships between parents and children (though there are challenging, difficult days!); results in kids who love learning and produces children who are able to socialize well, not just horizontally (with their peers) but vertically (with those who are older or younger than them).

The kids recently welcomed their Papa (who was away for a 5-day mission trip) with requests for hugs, kisses and lots of read-aloud time!

Even if we choose to stop homeschooling, our commitment to be there for our children during the three key moments of daily parenting will definitely not change. As imperfect as we are, we believe that God chose us to be Timothy and Therese’s Papa and Mama, and we will do our darndest to give them the best life that we can — without depriving them of our time and attention.After all, no material wealth — gadgets, goods and gold — could ever be worth more than our precious children and our family. In the words of Lee Iacocca, famous American businessman and author:

“No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?”