On celebrity privacy

No questions about her rumored relationship with ____, please,” I’ve often been briefed repeatedly by handlers prior to celebrity interviews. Back when I was using a point and shoot camera as a voice recorder, I came across another handler who was paranoid about what I’d do with the footage. The extreme caution can be laughable (and sometimes unnecessarily stressful) to me, because chances are high that I’m not even interested and have no dreams of uploading “Artistaaaaa!” videos on YouTube. But when you bother to consider the ruthless entertainment culture they have to deal with, all the tactless and trashy questions that are asked, and how celebrity really is a sentence to having your life freely used as fodder, it becomes possible to somehow understand the high walls along with the annoyance.

It’s been repeated time and again that joining showbiz means your life is practically owned by the public. Hence when an actress gets pregnant out of wedlock and flies off to Europe, presumably to avoid the glaring lights of gossip, people feel they have the right to rage over her efforts to hide a baby (Because if we were the ones to conceive a love child, our very first impulse would be to announce it on Facebook).

“Siguro naman ok lang na magtira ako ng konti sa sarili ko,” I recall another actress soothingly saying in response to another one of those rumored relationships, to which entertainment media graciously reached out its hand of understanding and let her kiss the proverbial ring. Personally I don’t get where anyone’s entitlement is coming from, whether you’re a tabloid journalist, a talk show host, or a housewife watching TV. Then again, I’m probably not the best person to comment on this, since the last time I fully partook in fan culture was when I was convinced that Scott of The Moffats was The One, and I cared so much when I found out what his mother’s name was. Today I’ve developed a detachment to showbiz that some might consider stiff or boring, so my empathy in this area is quite rusty.

Where is the entitlement coming from?

Is it because we patronize their movies and primetime TV shows, and that’s enough for us to think we can demand their souls? Is it because that much money and fame ought to have a corresponding price to even things out with the rest of us? Is it because we mistake our hysterical obsession with them to be an actual relationship when they don’t even know our names? Is it simply a heightened case of being interested in another person, and hopefully including the work they do? In the age of social media stalking, the latter isn’t so hard to get.

For whatever reason that people care, whether genuinely-hysterically or because crass sensationalism is what brings in the money bags, the artista’s favorite cliché holds true. “Tao lang kami.” People need the space to deal with their life’s issues in the way they see fit, or in the way they are currently capable of. As it is in “real” life, wrapping your head around an unexpected pregnancy is perhaps better done half a world away from conservative, judgmental titas who look at you as if you had just died. Relationships are better figured out without the pressure of putting a Facebook status on. Sexualities are more easily admitted without people pounding on your closet, and we all deserve to experience our worst drunken state in the pure presence of understanding and humoring friends—people who will hold you back if needed, but won’t over interpret and come out with a press release on your “true colors” the next day.

It’s also good to keep in mind that living truthfully and honestly doesn’t necessarily entail readily broadcasting the bare details of our lives to the world. It also includes standing by our omissions and all the things we aren’t ready to share. It includes taking into account how people tend to judge and choosing for yourself whether or not that’s something you want to deal with at the moment.

I know it’s different for celebrities, especially in our local showbiz culture. But like I said, I find it hard to swallow that completely. People are people. And while fame is the beast that it is and I don’t expect that to change any time soon, a tiny bit of putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes will go a long way—if not for them, then to us becoming a more discerning audience.

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