Post-Valentine’s day badges

MANILA, Philippines - Remember when the supposed Mayan apocalypse passed by without event and we headlined with “WE’RE ALIVE!”? The day after Valentine’s feels pretty much like that. The dark clouds have lifted. We can now go back to simply being who we were — whether single, coupled up, steady, blissful, bitter, or broken hearted — without the scrutiny and pressure to be all red and happy. We now have a full year to be in relative emotional ease before this dreaded occasion rears itself again (or a full year to finally find dates, which is what we told ourselves last year).

Anyway, the point is that we survived. And we at Supreme have realized how our resilience in this arena is rarely ever acknowledged, much less given credit. So here are some badges to honor how we’ve managed to arrive at the 15th in one piece. Granted that some of these aren’t necessarily flattering, but we feeble humans do what we can.

Hermit badge

Love life or no love life, you decided to stay home yesterday. Valentine’s is like a mini reprise of the Christmas traffic you were only too eager to bid goodbye to—especially if it happens to fall on a payday Friday. Feelings of angst may or may not have had anything to do with it. Either way, you’ve decided there are better ways to spend your time than rubbing elbows with the PDAing couple at the next table and standing forever in line to pee. Sometimes your couch really is the better option.

Intellectual badge

You couldn’t stop preaching about how Valentine’s is but another marketing ploy that preys on the emotions of clueless, hapless human beings. And why wait for a “special day” to show your love to someone? Every single moment is a new opportunity to do just that, and we miss out when we obsess over this socially constructed occasion. O, di ikaw na.

Maling akala badge

You asked your crush if he/she wanted to hang out yesterday, and without hesitation he/she texted back, “Tara”. And just as you were about to suggest dinner reservations at Heat, he/she sent a follow-up text: “So saan niyo gusto?” You couldn’t invite all your other friends fast enough.

Torpe stalker badge

You spent Feb. 14 refreshing his/her Facebook and Twitter pages, checking for signs of whether or not he/she had a date — descending into misery if they did; basking in relief and momentary security if they seemed to be on their own. Malayo ang mararating mo niyan.

Red rose badge

You spent Valentine’s proudly parading around town with the bouquet of red roses you received, excessively wrapped in crinkling plastic with matching baby’s breath. Clearly you were not a loser yesterday.

Red horse badge

You filled in the absence of a bouquet with a bucket. Valentine blues have a way of creeping into even the most content and happy-go-lucky of people. There was certainly no harm in permitting a little bit of anesthetic to keep things light, or even the most intense bursts of emotion veiled under the “lasing kasi” excuse. Plus points if there was drunk dialing involved.

Creepy guy badge

So you saw this girl dry humping with her gay friends and you automatically assumed that she would gladly do the same with you. Except eew. When she suddenly had to text at 3 a.m. as you gyrated your hips in front of her? Yeah, she wasn’t. But you were too tigang and determined to notice. You’re lucky you don’t have a sexual harassment charge on your head.

Sex and the City badge

Since you couldn’t romanticize Valentine’s Day, you romanticized your single status. You spent the day proverbially flipping your hair about how you’re oh-so-fabulous anyway, retweeting @TheSingleWoman, and cheerily chanting, “Who says you need a man to enjoy Valentine’s?” Call us when you’ve decided to be honest about your feelings.

Laslas badge

Whether you were broken up with on Valentine’s, cheated on, found out that he’s started dating someone else, or told with the best of intentions that he simply doesn’t see you that way, just remember that God sends His biggest battles to His strongest warriors. Joke lang. Pinapatawa ka lang namin. Hang in there, love.

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