*Gasp* bad words!

Profanity is like a language. To those who speak and appreciate it, it has a certain bite that just won’t translate into cleaner alternatives.

MANILA, Philippines - In my world, cuss words are interchangeable with mere expressions, or better yet used as “sentence enhancers,” as that meme put it. The last time my friends and I shied away from the words “tang ina,” we were college freshmen singing along to an Eraserheads track. “O / Diyos ko / ano ba naman ito / diba / *awkward silence*”

The good thing about writing for a broadsheet is getting to see, through feedback, that your reality isn’t as universal as you think. Two weeks ago, while most readers took the time to agree and disagree on the actual point of my article, “Citizen journalism my ass,” there were those who were solely consumed by the word “ass.”

I got quite a few “Watch your language!” comments and notes that we should have replaced one of the s’s with an asterisk (although I never really got the point of such censorship; asterisk or no asterisk, we’d all still know what we were looking at).

Lost in translation

It is both funny and tragic how 1,000 words can all go down the drain because of three letters, but this is the kind of thing that doesn’t just happen with articles. There are countless day-to-day instances when people take the content of your message at face value. Like those silent judgments we make about people based on how they speak, or when you’re ranting about a really bad day and a few uttered expletives suddenly drown out the essence of what you’re saying to the other person. Suddenly they’re more concerned about “cleaning up” your mouth. Never mind that you feel absolutely horrible and are in desperate need of comfort.

I’m not on a mission to change people’s sensibilities. I think they’re entitled to them and deserve to be left alone. But at the end of the day, people talk because they want to share, express, and even forge connections. As a writer, I should be obsessed with words, but the truth is I don’t think they’re significant enough to come between us. People and their intentions and their messages always come first. Words mean different things to different people in different contexts. They’re the kind of thing you’re supposed to see through. Case in point, I have a very good friend whose version of an eager “How are you?” is “Kamusta pekpek?” and we get along beautifully.

We miss out when we’re too picky about how people should talk. First of all, we miss out on them. I don’t know about you, but between propriety and a person’s unique quirks, I think the latter is always more interesting. I’m personally drawn to people who don’t edit themselves too much.

Secondly, we miss out not only on what they’re saying but on the character lent by how they say it. Profanity is like a language. To those who speak and appreciate it, it has a certain bite that just won’t translate into cleaner alternatives. It’s kind of like bekinese. Someone once advised me against using sward speak because it diminishes one’s class, but I can’t help it. “I am very, very tired” simply does not capture the color of “Stress Drilon!” or “Haggardo Versoza!” Kebs ang class. Strip me of it. I don’t care.

The good in the bad

Profanity’s no different. The people who keep it around do so because sometimes something is so amazing that a simple “Wow!” won’t suffice. Sometimes, a sudden feeling of awe can only find its full expression in a crisp and emphatic “Tang ina!”

The word “bitch” is a compliment of the highest order when paid by your closest and most loving gay friends. I can’t imagine a complete womanhood without the ability to appreciate this. It connotes hotness, coupled with a fierce, but calm, and knowing power — a woman who steps into the room and has her way without trying; feared, but at the same time admired; a woman whose love and company is a privilege. Bitch. There is no equivalent. It nourishes the soul of many a fag hag, this one included.

 And yes, these same words can be uttered with pure venom, and even then they serve their purpose. Anger and bitterness deserve to be fully articulated as well. Sometimes you need to hear that you’re being an asshole. And sometimes “asshole” can mean an affectionate but non-mushy “I love you” and you’d be damned to miss out on that.

My point is, listen to people. Whether or not you would actually use a person’s vocabulary, hear them as if you were on the other end, saying what they’re saying, meaning it the way they intend it to mean. I don’t really expect to be able to neutralize profanity, and being able to comfortably recite all existing cuss words won’t make you any cooler than those who have limits. But if you can fully appreciate others and what they’re trying to tell you, regardless of the words they employ — if you can temporarily set aside your views and actually be interested in someone else’s world — then it won’t really matter where your sensibilities lie.

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Tweet the author @catedeleon.