Best of The Week: #RejectedUPCATEssayQuestions, the RH bill, and what they found on Mars!
Adventure of the week: Planet Mars
MANILA, Philippines - Humanity’s wanderlust knows no bounds and our latest gimik is at Mars — and we’re not talking about some girlie bar on Makati Avenue that we may or may not have visited recently. The Curiosity rover landed on the red planet on Monday, marking another milestone for the US of A. The Mars Science Laboratory — whose engineers, by the way, include a really cool hipster with a mohawk — aims to find out if the planet could have supported life, though it is pretty obvious — isn’t this the planet where @superstarmarian comes from?
Hashtag of the week: #RejectedUPCATEssayQuestions
The UPCAT now includes an essay portion — because if beauty queens have to face tough, existential questions, then so should our “scholars ng bayan.” Netizens had a field day, coming up with their own queries. Our favorites were: “On a scale of 1 to Basha, gaano ka katigas?”, “Saan aabot ang bente pesos mo?”, and “Kung si Venus Raj ay magdo-double degree, ano kaya ang kanyang major major? Explain explain!”
Proclamation of the week: God’s wrath
Amid the downpour of the monsoon and the suffering of many of our countrymen, some people chose to proclaim that the flooding was God’s wrath for the upcoming RH bill. Ironically, those who seem to find joy and fulfillment in the rain were those against the bill, who we expected to be more Godly. But alas, such is the fate of prophets: insistent, angry, and with an I-told-you-so attitude. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out so well for them, even with their theory that the Bible verse of the flood in Noah’s Ark coincided with the date of the nonstop rain. Expectation: Noah. Reality: Harold Camping, that guy who predicted the end of the world three times and failed on all counts.
Sigh of relief of the week: RH bill debate is over!
The debate for the RH bill is finally over after 17 months on the House floor, and decades of mud-slinging topped with threats of ex-communication. On Monday, the CBCP stormed into the House of Representatives to cast their vote in favor of prolonging the debates, but some members shouted, “They don’t even go here!” Now, the next step for Congress is to amend the bill with proposed changes, followed by three readings, 10 prayer rallies, 18 pork barrel disbursements, a vacation, another vacation, and then — whoops — election time. Let’s hope it won’t be years before we decide on this law.
