Linggo ng wika: Supreme's guide to beckinese

MANILA, Philippines -Beckinese, a sort of dialect for the Filipino gay community, has been around for years. It is a hyperbolic language smothered in wit and references important in local gay culture. Like many Beckinese speakers, the language is fluid and always changing, and requires a comedic flourish in delivery. It’s due to this fun, dynamic nature that it has captured the fancy even of the non-becky variety. And because we at Supreme believe in your right to a comprehensive pop culture education, here are some pointers in mastering the Beckinese speak:

1. Anyone is any of the following: Teh, Sis, Girl, Mars, Mother, Tita.

It doesn’t matter if the subject is actually female; it all applies. Truth be told, sometimes it’s really just an extra avenue for energy or emphasis. For example: “Was he really that handsome?” “Teh.”

 2. Use the shortest possible form of the word or emotion.

Abbreviation is the mother of invention as far as Beckinese is concerned. For example, instead of saying, “Nakakapikon naman yan,” one can simply say “Kape” (as in kapikon). If the person is extra annoying, one can say, “Kape. Venti,” much like your lovable Starbucks barista.

Or, for instance, if someone is sticking his nose where he shouldn’t, a simple exclamation of “paper” (as in pumapapel) gets the point across. If they are, again, on another level, one can also say “isang ream ng bond paper.”

3. Whenever possible, begin with j-, ky-, ny-, or sh- and/or end with –er, -ski, -china, -ey, -kels, -embang, -a.

This is a concept best illustrated by example: “Wala” becomes “waley.” The word “tanda” can become “tander,” “kyonda” or “shonda,” or when used as an adjective, “majonder.” The word “kapatid” can go from “shupatid” to “shupatembang.”

 4. Compound with similar-sounding phrases or words that start with the same letters to add that special flourish.

Why simply say “laos” when you can say “laocean deep” or “charot” (see glossary) when you can say “charottweiler” “charoot canal” or “charoot crops”? Right? Right.

 5. Take it to the next level by compounding words with pop culture references — the more bakya, the better.

Here are some fine examples:

• Lupaypay Picache – Cherry Pie Picache meets bodily fatigue

• Waleydy Gaga – Lady Gaga meets absolutely nothing

• Julanis Morrissette – ‘90s angst icon Alanis meets heavy rainfall

• Lana Del Rain – Lana Del Rey in inclement weather

• Haggardo Versoza – The machete of all stress and tiredness

• Tom Jones – Hunger pangs that are burnin’ down the house

• Gutommy Abuel – Hunger pangs: local edition

• Surely Fuentes – Agreement with the Tuesday Group

6. Measure distances in bodily functions.

Beckinese knows no yards or meters, but it does measure in kembots and tamblings. As in, “Malapit na ako. Isang tambling na lang” or “Ilang kembot ka na lang? Five and a half?”

7. All teasing can take the form of “maka-(insert object) ‘to.”

Let’s say, for instance, you log onto Facebook. On your newsfeed, you see your friend has posted a user photo that could only have been taken by a professional, with studio lighting and the assistance of a hair and make-up team. Instead of saying, “Wow, big time! Is your user photo appearing in this year’s Star Magic catalog?” one can simply say, “Maka-profile pic naman ‘to!”

8. Everything has “levels.”

As in rule number one, certain things fall on certain levels, which Beckinese-speakers love to identify. For instance, if you’re updated with gossip, you’re “Cristy Fermin levels.” If you know the story straight from the source, you’re “Boy Abunda levels.” (And if they were emotional while telling you the story in question, it’s “Magic Mirror levels.”)

 9. Give awards whenever you can.

Stuck in Northbound Edsa rush hour at 5 p.m.? Don’t just tweet, “Grabe naman yung traffic sa Edsa” when you can say, “Edsa, best in parking lot levels.” Is your funky aunt wearing inappropriately youthful neon leggings? A simple “best in hapit” or “best in tingkad” will acknowledge the situation succinctly and precisely.

10. When in doubt, “keme.”

I liken it to our grandparents’ “ano,” which they used to illustrate things they assumed you already knew. (The classic use being “pakikuha yung ano sa ano.”) Likewise, “keme” is the all-encompassing response for any and every scenario. Who was it? Keme. What was it? Keme. Where did you go? Malapit sa keme.

Beckinese glossary:

Afam/Afamity – Foreigner.

Anda/Andalu – Money.

Avail – Shamelessly making the most of something. (Ex. “Avail naman to masyado sa libreng lechon.”)

Award – Getting reprimanded, usually in the highest of decibels. (Ex. “Naawardan nanaman ako sa kakalandi ng shupatembang ni bosing.”)

Bagets – A young person. (Ex. “Every time I listen to One Direction, I feel so bagets.”)

Balaj – To mock shamelessly. (Ex. “Maka-balaj naman ‘to. Perfect ka, teh?”)

Balur – Home.

Borlog – To sleep.

Carerechi/Caroo – Car/vehicle.

Chaka – Ugly, unsightly. (Ex. “I’d feel bad if she wasn’t so chaka.”)

Charot – Derived from “ang taray,” meaning you’re on another level. Can be used in the same manner as “just kidding.” (Ex. “Mas maganda ako kay Angelina Jolie. Charot.”)

Echos – Unnecessary drama, excuses, or fishing for compliments. A person who is “avail sa echos” is known as an echusera. Can also be used like “keme” or as another way of saying “just kidding.” (Ex. “Puro ka na lang echos, magsulat ka kaya kay Ate Charo.”)

For more – To take to the next level, to add something special. Sometimes used to punctuate a statement. (Ex. “I brought my pillow to the office, for more borlog experience.”)

Ganyan – Expression used for emphasis or punctuation. (Ex. “Ate V levels ang production number, ganyan.”)

Ikaw na – Used sarcastically for someone who is “unreachable.” (Ex. “I’m so tired, I was out clubbing till 7 a.m. and the VIP section was so sikip.” “Ikaw na ang party girl.”)

Jowa/Nyowa – Significant other. Applies to spouses as well.

Junakis – Offspring.

Kabog – Beckinese term for fierce. Someone who blows everyone else out of the water with fierceness is a kabugera.

Kalurki – Nakakaloka. So good or bad it almost drives you crazy.

Keri/Kere – A sign of agreement (as in, “Keri ko yan.”) Can also mean someone attractive (as in, “Nadidistract ako sa kere.”).

Lakas maka – A phrase that indicates how strong an impact something you’ve done has made. (Ex. “How’s my haircut?” “Lakas maka-fresh.”)

Last day – When there’s too much of something, as though there was a clearance sale of that particular thing. (Ex. “Last day ng afam sa Café Havana.”)

Mudak – Mother.

Pak/pakak – An exclamatory, reactive word. Designed to state how perfect something is. (Ex. “That gown and those legs? Pakak.”)

Push – To attempt to achieve something. (Ex. “May deadline ka ng 6 a.m. pero pupunta kang Privé? I-push mo yan.”)

Sarap/yummy – Used to describe someone handsome. (Ex. “Zac Efron? Sarap.”)

Sight – Relates to boy-watching. (Ex. “May na-sight akong kere.”)

Tauxmaux – A sign of agreement. Pronounced as “tahhhmahhh.”