Signs of dementia

The provincial government of Batangas has passed a resolution to erect a 45-foot sign that reads “BATANGAS,” on the face of the Taal Volcano.

A recent newspaper report says the idea is the brainchild of Governor Vilma Santos. The purpose is to establish Taal as a part of Batangas, and not of Tagaytay City.

Also, to be sure that nobody else takes Taal, Vilma Santos has just licked it. (Try claiming the volcano now, Cavite! It has her laway.)

Now, I think this is a brilliant idea. Everyone knows that the most beautiful destinations in the world have billboards to block them from people’s view.

Look at the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Great Barrier Reef, and the Great Wall of China. All of them are great — not because I can see that they are — but because they are covered by the word “GREAT.”

The billboard will also boost tourism. As Batangas Vice Governor Mark Leviste II tells the press, “It’s a simple development which can easily attract attention and even visitors.”

Leviste is 100 percent right. It’s the same reason Guadalupe Bridge is Makati’s No. 1 tourist attraction. There’s a big ego-tourism market — you know, travelers who circle the world to witness acts of shameless self-promotion.

Now, critics say that Batangas is only copying the Hollywood landmark in Los Angeles. But I say, what’s wrong with that? In fact, let’s take it a step further.

If Batangas really wants Taal to attract as many visitors as Hollywood does, it won’t just need a sign. It will also need stars. That’s why Vilma Santos should start living in the volcano.

This way, people won’t be content just looking at Taal from the cool comfort of Tagaytay. They’ll need to travel to the volcano to experience the “Star for All Seasons.”