Best of the Week

Fictional hero battle of the week: Captain America vs. Harry potter

MANILA, Philippines - While the last of the hardcore Potterheads are still bawling at cinemas, the rest of the muggle world seems to have moved on. The eighth Harry Potter movie, which broke box office records on its opening weekend, experienced a major decline in its second week, causing it to play second fiddle to the newly-opened Captain America. Maybe the last Potter movie, which many have dubbed the end of an era, is just too heartbreaking to watch more than once. Or maybe, (and this makes more sense), the call of a shirtless Chris Evans is just too strong to ignore. Blame it on Neville for not giving up the goods.

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Goodbye of the week: Amy winehouse

Everybody assumes that Amy Winehouse died of a Joplin-esque drug overdose, but her father, jazz singer Mitchell Winehouse, revealed in his eulogy that Amy had conquered her addiction three years ago and investigators revealed that her cause of death is still unknown, even after an autopsy. The infamous singer, who was found dead in her London home on the 23rd, had already been cremated, but her friends and fans continue to mourn the loss of a tremendous talent. Even comedian Russell Brand turned uncharacteristically somber as he wrote a heartfelt tribute for his fallen friend.

Goodbye, Amy. We’ll let these tears dry on their own.

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Annoying rumors of the week: Ely Buendia and David Guetta "Die"

Shortly after Amy Winehouse’s death was announced, texts began circulating that Pupil frontman Ely Buendia had died as well, due to ruptured aneurysm. Someone seems hell-bent on making Ely’s fans cry — the musician had been the subject of the same hoax before when Part 1 of the E-heads reunion concert was cut short due to the El Bimbo singer suffering from a heart attack. French DJ David Guetta wasn’t spared either, as news circulated that he had died in a car crash. Both musicians, however, are alive and kicking — the nasty rumors in the ass, that is.

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Winner of the week: ‘Septic tank’ at Cinemalaya

You wouldn’t think that a movie with “septic tank” in the title could ever win the glittering Cinemalaya Balangay Trophy. Marlon Rivera’s Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank, which features its star Eugene Domingo falling in a pool of hardened, pungent human excrement, certainly suffered some criticism saying that it was a piece of cinematic sh*t: All style and no substance. But the comedy won over the box office, and hoarded most of the awards in categories it was nominated for (Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Actress, Best Film), which only goes to show that if you just put up with a load of crap, you will be rewarded.

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Stressed-out girl of the week: Psoriasis-ridden Kim Kardashian!

You know how low society has sunk when the top stories include some LA socialite getting diagnosed with a common skin disease, but here we are: Bride-to-be Kim Kardashian’s “something new” for her wedding attire unfortunately takes the form of a hereditary skin disease called psoriasis. Boo-hoo. In an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians that was aired earlier this week, Kim visited her dermatologist who took one look at the flaky, itchy red patches on her legs and diagnosed her condition. There is no cure, but its symptoms can be treated with ointments, medications and leading a more slowly-paced lifestyle, which Kim K declares is “not possible.” The episode ended as usual: With Kim crying and whining and fighting with her mom, who also has psoriasis, and blaming her for everything.

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Ridiculous expense of the week: Pagcor coffee

We have to hand it to PAGCOR, spending P1 billion pesos is not easy. A regular person would probably spend the money on a nice house, a college education and a sizeable donation to charity, and still have a couple of hundred thousand pesos that he wouldn’t know how to get rid of. Yet somehow, PAGCOR cleverly managed to drop it all on… Coffee. It’s a feat worthy of a standing ovation, clap clap. Now we should expect nothing less from the PAGCOR folk than to be awake and as perky as newly-implanted silicon mammary glands 24/7 until the end of the year.

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Villains of the week: CHED

As if dealing with OJTs, thesis requirements, and difficult professors all aren’t hard enough, college students must now learn to be water-proof as well. Last Tuesday when typhoon Juaning hit Metro Manila, DepEd called classes off for students from pre-school to high school. CHED, however, refused to call off classes for college students, sparking a Twitter revolution among netizens, who demanded a little compassion for the poor collegiates, most of whom commute and walk from building to building. In the end, CHED showed only a little mercy, by letting the schools decide whether they wanted to suspend classes or not. Tsk, tsk. F-minus for lack of effort!

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Unexpected fashion show of the week: The SONA red carpet

Who knew politics could be so fashown? Politicians channeled their inner Hollywood starlets as they walked the red carpet at P-Noy’s SONA last Tuesday. The dazzling display of sexy-fied Maria Claras, unique, erm, interpretations of ternos and dapper barongs was almost too glamorous that we very nearly forgot about the important, serious speech that was about to be made. Whether the red carpet fashion show at the SONA was acceptable or another example of the wang-wang culture, one thing’s for sure: It was definitely entertaining.