Best of the Week:National Velvet, Chris Douchebrown, and Baby Vadge

MANILA, Philippines - This week, we ponder the one million connection as we sift through a week’s worth of pop culture trash and bring you the best of the week.

Naked Lady of the Week (And Maybe the Week Before That): Vanessa Hudgens

If Vanessa Hudgens’ own digicam had one million photos in it, we bet about 99,000 of those are nude pics. The Disney star seems to find it hard to keep her clothes on, and just had her third photo scandal in four years. About four photos leaked last week: two showing Vanessa’s voovs and vajayjay, while the other two pictured the Sucker Punch star making out with Nickelodeon princess Alexa Nikolas. Hudgens already expressed dismay over the leak of the photos, which she claims were taken a long time ago. Through her lawyer, it was confirmed that she is coordinating with the FBI to finally catch the responsible party. Nude photos of Vanessa first surfaced in 2007, then again in 2009. This latest leak confirms the scandal to be a biannual event, just like the skin fest that is the Bench Underwear Show. If this person leaking her nude photos is not caught by 2013, some say Vanessa can just be optimistic the world might end in 2012.

Legend of the Week: Elizabeth Taylor

Earlier this week, we bid goodbye to National Velvet Elizabeth Taylor, who died of congestive heart failure at 79. A movie star of the highest order, she, herself, admitted that everything was handed to her — fame, beauty, talent, money, honors. But it came at a price. Throughout her life, she was plagued by health problems and had a love life so volatile, she married eight times. Still, she was a survivor. This was readily apparent when, as the New York Times reported her death, they realized that she had actually outlived her obituary writer, Mel Gussow, by six years. “Planes, trains, everything stops for Elizabeth Taylor,” said Roddy McDowall, one of her earliest co-stars and a lifelong friend, to the New York Times, “but the public has no conception of who she is. People who damn her, wish to hell they could do what they think she does.  —Raymond Ang

Outstanding Hooker of the Week: Adrianne Palicki, Wonder Woman

Adrianne Palicki is the new Wonder Woman and she puts this awesomely creative new costume where she looks like a million bucks... in debt! Or at least that’s what the rest of the world thinks. But in the eyes of Linda Carter, the original Diana Prince (WW’s alter ego), “She looks fabulous....It’s a new look and, jeez, her body looks fantastic.” Way to go, costume designer! From a star-spangled pantyhose to sparkling latex pants, other changes to the costume include fashionable silver armbands and a longer gold rope she’ll be using for the cowboy’s stag party. Nonetheless, Palicki still manages to look sexy on her own way, to which Carter adds, “I’m sure there will be people who say she looks better than me, and like her better than me — and that’s also fine.” These people, unfortunately, still haven’t surfaced.

Douchebag of the Week: Chris Brown

If Chris Brown seriously thinks he can still resurrect his decomposing career from the maggots, he is wickedly wrong. In a recent radio interview, he expressed “I would love to do like a mill the first week, honestly.” Well, he’d need a miracle for that. This week, not only did photos of a black-and-blue Rihanna (yes, yes, the only girl in the world) resurfaced online, but a nuclear meltdown was reported in the ABC studios, courtesy of, of course, Chris Brown. “I’m so over people bringing this past sh*t up!” he later tweeted about the incident, questioning why people can’t just buy his album when Charlie Sheen always ends up #winning. This incident actually came in a week after he admitted that the rumored photos of him and his schlong (Should we put an emphasis to long? We’re asking.) were authentic. A week before that, his entire new album F.A.M.E. was leaked by music pirates. Well, as Kanye says, let’s have a toast for the douchebag!

New Tweep of the Week: @MerciGutierrez

Fine, @CharlieSheen may have broken Twitterrific records when he reached a million followers 24 hours after joining the site, but our embattled Ombudsman is totally on a league of her own. You see, aside from a record 212 congressmen rallying to get her out of the peach office in Agham Road, she’s also joined Twitter! The account, though admittedly fake, is manned by our hilarious friends from Mosquito Press, the same news network that put up the Ping Lacson Finder and Ligot-bot chatbox. To date, @MerciGutierrez only has 400 followers, but the Edcel Lagman’s favorite ombudsman doesn’t even mind. Aside from tweeting that “negative tweets will only be considered if sent via postal mail,” currently Mrs. Gutierrez also enjoys having dinner with Ina Magenta-reincarnate Wendell Sulit, while awarding the pigs from Angry Birds the “due process” she claims she was once deprived of.