Pretty unpretty

MANILA, Philippines - Is it just me, or has there been a giant wave of insecurity blanketing the so-called fairer sex? Over lunch, you eavesdrop on ladies’ conversations revolving around the latest miracle product or treatment that they’re saving up for. Even tweeners talk about getting that makeover that they need so badly. When topics like these are talked about so casually, it sometimes feels like we girls are just too hard on ourselves.

A couple of weeks ago, my teacher played the “Dove Evolution” TVC in class, after which he asked who among the girls think they are pretty. Only two ladies raised their hands–two out of 15. This struck a chord in me because being in a class of college seniors, you would expect the girls to be a bit more self-assured, to be more secure about themselves. We’re way past our awkward stage already, and it’s not a crime to say and think you’re pretty.

In another instance, my friend was criticized for her daily beauty rituals after she was asked about it on her Formspring account. The person insinuated that my friend would probably be ugly without her routine, and that she was too high maintenance, or something to that effect. It seemed like her regimen was simple enough, actually required by her skin doctor, yet someone still found a fault in that. Could you really be blamed for wanting to look like everything is peachy in your side of the country? You may be exhausted, but it should be perfectly okay to try not to look it.

I realize now that it goes both ways. You take care of yourself and put some effort into looking good, at least presentable every day, and people say you’re too conceited. On the other hand, you come as you are, wash and wear, and are dismissed as homely and lazy.

There’s nothing wrong with putting a little effort into your prettiness. Maybe you need more concealer today, after staying up until 3 a.m. writing your paper (or watching Mad Men, whichever). Go ahead and visit the dermatologist if you think you have to. You feel like sporting curls today? Sure. I think we’ll all agree that what’s important is you do what makes you feel good about yourself.

Let’s not pretend that we each never have days (weeks!) where we feel like ugly ducklings. Even Venus Raj was called ugly and likened to the Crypt Keeper before she was crowned Miss Philippines-Universe. But with enough determination and practice sashaying in her paddy fields, she became the face of the country.

Things like that don’t happen overnight, and it does take a little work. Anyone who tells you that her beauty is effortless is lying. You can be sure that even Giselle Bundchen, the goddess that she is, doesn’t wake up looking like that. What I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to feel ugly sometimes, but do something about it so that the sentiment will fade over time. If you got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, be diligent with it.

One of my favorite quotes, one which I usually repeat to myself when I’m almost at the end of a painful workout, is from Helena Rubinstein, a lady who ran a cosmetics company that rivaled Elizabeth Arden’s in the early 20th century. Though she was actually a very beautiful woman already, there was still something that she was willing to admit: “There are no ugly girls, only lazy ones.”

So embrace your inner Venus and own the major, major babe you can be.