The why of things (1)

It’s all kind of a mess for me right now. I had it all figured out before, but now it’s like everything never existed. I was a cocksure kind of guy, every stride with great meaning, every word with solid purpose. But now it’s like I signed up for a crossword puzzle with a $100 prize, only to find out the answers should be in Latin. Where the hell am I supposed to get my answers? What is the meaning of life?!

So I seek divine help from Google. It has become my most trusted friend in times of need. I type in the most creative phrase you can think of when you’re searching for the purpose of life and panicking at the same time ... The purpose of life.

The top hit comes out, this book called Purpose Driven Life, followed by other baloney webpages you get for not Googling creatively, like Life on Purpose and a Wikipedia entry on the “meaning of life.” My instincts told me I would regret, but I clicked on it anyway — five freaking minutes of my life I can never get back.

But an interesting title catches my eye: How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes. It sounds kind of tacky, but this caught my attention for two reasons: 1) Despite not being a popular book or website, it was the second top hit and 2) that’s a long-ass title that promises so much in under 20 minutes. You better deliver.

So I click on it. The guy starts off with an anecdote on Bruce Lee, preaching to an apprentice that if you are to learn my cup of kung fu, you must first empty your cup. When you get to that mindset, he then poses this question, “What is my true purpose in life?” Ask yourself that, then list down all the reasons from the top of your head, until it hits a chord in your heart that “makes you cry.”

What do you mean cry? Bawl like a baby? I was about to laugh out loud, but I realized the guy was serious. And there were emotions dripping from the screen. He was already using phrases like “mini-surges of emotion,”, so I decided to skip the emo part and go straight to the meaty part.

When did that 20th minute occur, that moment of ultimate purpose, the final answer that made him bawl? Well, it was divided into four parts, which actually surprised me: To live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.

Now, that’s a good one. I remember there’s this other exercise on realizing your goals and dreams in life. It requires you to list down 101 dreams in 20 minutes. The scientific purpose behind it, why it has to be rushed under 20 minutes, is to speed away from the natural barriers imposed on you, your own mind dictating what you cannot be. In the end, you break into a subconscious world with an empty cup.

Seeing how this guy probes around with scientific reasoning, I’m starting to get interested! Now, let’s examine his final answer.

Live consciously and courageously. So this is why I always get into trouble! Like in culinary class, if my instructors would say never use a wooden chopping board for raw meat, I can’t just follow the sous chef like an obedient line cook. If you say don’t chop on the wooden thing, I will have to ask, why? What is the purpose of it all?

For bravely questioning the wood, I got its purpose: The wood material absorbs moisture, making it a perfect breeding ground for deadly bacteria, like say this nasty thing called salmonella you can ingest from chicken. Even though I don’t like (hate) plastic, in this case, a plastic board is the best one. Be courageous with questioning the universe, and a conscious kind of living will follow.

To resonate with love and compassion. Well, I am unattached at the moment. And I will always be, until the right one comes along. As for my family, I’ve been quite busy. My precious niece, Kumi Ami, was recently born into the world and it took me weeks before I could finally visit her. I know I’m a bad tito, the regret really weighed down on me, but it’s only temporary until I get things working on their own. I wouldn’t describe myself as resonating, but I am willing to work on it.

As for compassion, I think I have that for mankind. A lady visited our restaurant once. She was bawling all over the place, about this kid with a tube up her throat. She was asking us for money, even showed a receipt from the hospital that looked real. I got so sad I gave her P800. Plus she was disturbing the customers. Five months later, I see her again at a public gathering on the street, bawling about the same thing. I was looking straight at her, and she made a quick exit when she saw me.

To awaken the great spirits within others. And to leave this world in peace. This is touching on the philiosophical and spiritual, which will be for another blog entry, the second installment of two parts. Bye for now!

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If you find no answers, cry with me @ http://twitter.com/pingmedina.