Behavioral Science 101

MANILA, Philippines - The advent of limitless memory cards have us all perfecting our angles. Hold the camera up, shoot yourself. Not working? Delete! Repeat till you get the faultless composition right. Once only mastered by the stars to showcase their best sides, now it’s also used by everyone — from the socialites who work the party scene to the hipster kids who think they’re the next big street style icon. Vanity is a sin, and we all fall prey to its siren call. Fanning our egocentric combustions are websites dedicated to the world of “I.” Wardrobe blogs whose sole purpose is to give the world a glimpse of your style adventures (or misadventures), scene websites that cruise events immortalizing your particular sartorial choice for online posterity, networking bookmarks whose main draw is the supposedly effortless profile pics (which are, in fact, treated, picked from a multitude of albums, and finally chosen because they look absolutely nothing like you).

Admit it, we all want to look like an upgraded version of ourselves. Thinner. Taller. Prettier. Cooler. All the “ers” in the grammar sphere. But unless we have the technology to rearrange our DNA or become Photoshop masters, we just have to be content with the old-fashioned way of looking good.

It’s all about the angles. And with everyone toting an SLR, thinking they’re a photographer, you might as well pose, thinking you’re on The Sartorialist. Here are eight of the most common situations that can give you that instant I-don’t-give-a-shit street cred, while declaring that you do know style and disguising whatever insecurity it is that you have with your girth. Whew!

Toe Right Stance

Preferred by most. This is effective when you’re comfortable with your left side angle. This sort of diagonal stance also gives a slimmer body mass imagery (as opposed to full frontal) and works best when you have pockets that you can shove your hands into or if you’re showcasing your ultra-expensive hand bag. That isosceles triangle created by the crook of your elbows gives the pose a proportional break, resulting in an overall hourglass figure.

Toe Left Stance

My fallback position. The opposite of the former, works when you’re acclimatized to having your right side photographed. Or it could also be that your right arm has less fat, or it’s blinged out. Or this hand could have more piled on accessories. Depends on whatever you want to showcase really.

The Crossover

Not from runway to mainstream but by legs, one on top of the other. This would work if you have really skinny or toned limbs, that by pressing across the other wouldn’t result in some sort of flattened lube, or heaven forbid, unwanted bulge areas in the wrong places. Best with both arms relaxed on either sides, would look fabulous with skirts, super mini dresses, hot pants or if you want Lady Gaga levels, no pants at all.

The Profile

This stand, of course, is very tricky. Hard to achieve. First, since we’re all assuming that this will be taken by some scene or street photographer and not by our cameras on tripod, then the chance of liquifying ourselves to nothingness in Photoshop is nil. So, one, better be sure you have skinny arms. (I swear this is so not my angle.) Two. Be sure about your outfits’ proportions. Streamlined fit, no wayward drapes, tucks, and bulges that can make you look like a melting piece of print. Three, have killer shoes that look great sideways. This girl is wearing YSL Tribute booties. A frontal photo of her in this bulbous head footwear would have her legs looking chopped off, but taken from the side, they just look amazing.

The Akward Gee-I’m-Shy-But-Yes-I-Want-A-Photo Pose

Let me take it back. This one would be the hardest, hands down. I think the best shot of this would have to be candid and not one that’s pre-destined. Imagine practicing this in front of the mirror. Like, uh. Retarded much? But yeah, leave this to the natural flow of things (or even better yet, to the younger set of scene stealers). Grace in the curves of this pose can only be achieved via movement, youthfulness, and spontaneity. A touch of the ’30s and grace is more reflected in stillness and silence.

The Full Frontal With Knock-Knee

It has to be by style icon, Paris Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld, rocking this stand to a tee. It’s like she unconsciously has that creative mind of hers directing from outside her body. Both toes pointed towards the camera. Yes. Chin just at the right level. Of course. Slouchy trench arrayed in perfect organized chaos. Check! Knees knocked in this angle give the straight line a break. Practice the legs apart with toes slightly turned in (maybe not, of course, with ultra-tight pencil skirts). But it would look best with trousers (to show off the shape) and monochromatic outfits so as not to look like a standing black pole.

The Stoic Full Frontal

Achieved by most Japanese (because they’re genetically emaciated) in those ubiquitous Asian street magazines. This, by far, is the coolest and easiest to actualize. You just stand straight. Best when showcasing designs, details or surface texture concentrated on the facade (i.e. the photo: quirky bow tie and brass buttons on the pea coat) Problem with this though, it looks awesome on women whose trotters are twig-like, blessed with those triple teardrop spaces in the middle (whatever do you call them?), but not so with us mere mortals. Somebody mentioned how to achieve that coveted space in between the legs — just bend your knees and turn your toes inward. But yeah, that would certainly work in a fashion editorial where a model is propped up against some rock formation, in a bikini. But bending your legs while standing up? You just might look like you have a severe case of the runs. Moving on.

The Wing It Pose

Alright. Forget everything I said. At the end of the day, when a snapparazzi comes up to you asking to take your picture, you don’t run the poses in your head, you just fall back on your signature look and just wing it. I’m guessing this would be the go-to of everyone else. Because even though how hard we break down the anatomy of looking good in front of the lens, the perfect accessory to looking your best is being yourself. And everything else follows.

All photos from The Sartorialist