Plucky number seven

 1. Man bags

MANILA, Philippines - Blame it on the worldwide organic panic. That is, the universal desire to look like you just shopped at Whole Foods. As my good friend Chino says, “You can’t pose for a fashion blog without a canvas tote!” Dangle it suggestively from a clenched fist (never in the crook of your arm), the message being, “I’m cultured, in a cool way.” But what else when you’re carrying Klosterman, or ethically produced cocoa puffs in the small of your hand? PS: This accessory is best paired with a bike. Can you say Copenhagen?

2. Stripes

Muted, yet, skinny (insert one-inch or so hand gesture here), and lying down are not the words to describe your next victim come club night. They’re actually the three things you need to know about the stripe type you should be wearing now. A youthful and more casual look is what you’re going for, so opt for horizontal stripes in a non-too-trendy color palette. Graphic black and white is always a classic, but a grayish monotone will work even better. Stripes already make things busy, so lay off the Day Glo tones. You’d need shutter shades for that, and – considering the timing — that thought makes us shudder.

3. Scarf

Not everyone can draw attention to his face, because that’s just not how the universe works. If you’re blessed with manly, jaw-and-bone kind of good looks, that’s kind of samurai in its steely angularity, then drop this newspaper right now and call me! Afterwards, head over to the department store and pick yourself up a scarf in a light but not flimsy-looking cotton knit (anything too lightweight just looks cheap). Nothing too skinny, because there’s nothing worse than a puny scarf over sizable pecs. Stripes are a good pattern to try as well — they strike a good balance between cool and classic.

4. Sportswear

I know Chas Tenenbaum knocks your knee-high athletic socks, but this season’s sportswear look is more snowboarder than track star. Imagine weekends spent skiing in Aspen. You’ve played enough videogames, right? Try nylon windbreakers in color-blocked combinations of teal and scuba blue, grounded with black. The crinkled texture of the material adds to the active feel, and so do those sportif zippers. Zip them up three-quarters of the way if you want to look more streamlined — not like a dork. Although as Chas T man-fans know, some girls could find that cute, too…

5. Statement tee

A long time ago, when Che Guevarra was known more as a freedom fighter than as a silkscreen stencil, statement T-shirts actually made sense. But as it happens, today’s T-shirt-wearing trend is more physical than political — a way to get what you think are stares in that area of the body. If you’re into the fratboy look (Kappa Tau, not Omega Chi), go all out with messages that confound. Treat it as a satire. The joke’s literally on you.

6. Plaid

Play around with plaid. The new thing now is to mix prints, and the same goes with the ubiquitous checked pattern. Make sure that at least one thing is uniform — either the plaids have the same dimensions, or are in a similar color family. Leave it to one area of the body, though. A plaid shirt layered over another one, or maybe even a shirt with a pocket square is a doable combination. A plaid shirt with plaid pants? Not so.

7. Cardigan

Hipsters of the world, assemble! If you think looking like a granddad is grand (also, if you use the word grand at all), then there’s really no point in me telling you to respect the cardigan. Kurt Cobain immortalized it, your gramps needed it (arthritis + warmth = aaaah), and that girl you want to make your girlfriend can borrow it. As a dress. Now, the key to shopping for this mythical piece of retail (my good friend Chino – again — took several months and a shipment from the States to get His Perfect Cardigan) all boils down to sizing. Fit is crucial. And as a corollary, material. It’s not meant to be spandex, so don’t get a cardigan that’s Pete Wentz-tight. Remember to give the shirt you’re wearing inside it some breathing room. Make sure there’s a little space, especially around the arms — it will give you those perfect little scrunched-up folds when you hike up the sleeves to your elbows. Hidden pockets are a great detail as well. You can sink your paws in them when you smile for your doting granny.