Happily and lazily married

Once again I am engrossed at my computer playing Free Cell. With two card decks, mind you. Just in case you feel I’m getting stupid, Free Cell is a computer solitaire game that used to be hard enough to play with one deck. Now it’s available for free on your computer and it involves two decks. It’s really not easy so when I sit down to play it after lunch, when I look up, it’s dark! I have spent my entire afternoon playing double deck Free Cell.

What do you expect from a happy 74-year-old? I am fully retired. More and more I am getting comfortable in my new status — that of being happily and lazily married. What else is there to do? The biggest upheaval of my life recently was moving house. I moved from a big three-bedroom condominium to my husband’s two-bedroom condo, where he has stayed for the past 10 or more years.  Of course my things wouldn’t fit. So I gave away or sold a lot of my furniture. I also acquired a one-bedroom unit in the other building where I put my things and where I can go if I get so mad at him. That has not happened yet. So far we are having leisurely fun together, getting along better every day. We have been married 10 months.

I never thought marriage could be so comfortable, so easy. Take today for example. We both woke up late because we both went to sleep late last night. We watched Operation Petticoat, a very old movie featuring Cary Grant and Tony Curtis, shot sometime in the 1950s when Cary Grant was young and alive and Tony Curtis was very good looking. It kept us up because it was so amusing. So we slept late this morning.

In the morning he felt lazy so he sat and watched YouTube while I sat beside him knitting a sweater I had begun a long time ago, then left, then picked up again, then left again and have now picked up again. Then we had lunch prepared by his driver after which I decided to play double-deck solitaire and got engrossed. He walked into the room, took a short siesta. I was too concentrated on Free Cell to notice the time or the date. Suddenly I heard him ask if I had written my column already. I almost jumped out of my skin because I had forgotten he was asleep behind me.  Then, of course, I had forgotten that it was my deadline today.

What do I write about when my life has become so peaceful? I think it’s a great idea to get married this late. When you’re old and you’ve been married before, you both have experience. You carry that experience with you, yes, that’s true; but on the other hand you tend to not have the same youthful expectations you once had because you know you have married someone new and now you are both old.   When you’re this old your expectations are pretty level. Do you understand? I hope so. I don’t mean to confuse.

At our age many people ask what it’s like to be married again. Most of them are much younger and have been married for a while. I tend to see them wondering how they will inject new romance in a relationship they have had for many decades. The answer is — I don’t know. I would probably know how to answer if I stayed with my husband for more than 50 years and woke up one day still enjoying his company immensely.

But that’s not what I’ve done. I lived like a totally independent single woman for 40 years before I got married again. In fact, I never thought I would ever get married again but now that I have, I have no regrets… so far. It’s like starting a whole new life. It’s stimulating and I am enjoying it. Of course, I can only speak for myself. I look at Loy closely and I think he is also enjoying it. We are having a lot of fun together.

Like tonight he decided to go to the grocery to buy God only knows what. “We’re having hamburgers for dinner,” he said. “Want to come with me?” Yes, he pretty much runs the house because the people who help us have been his for many years.

“I’m writing my column,” I said. “Why don’t you go by yourself? Please just get me hamburger buns. I feel like having a sandwich.” Then I remember that I bought myself some loaf bread yesterday. So I add, “No, don’t buy me buns anymore. I can use the loaf I bought yesterday.”

“You don’t want buns anymore?” he asked with a wounded look on his face. I laughed.

 “Okay, please,” I said, “please buy me hamburger buns.”

Actually, that’s typical behavior for both of us. Aren’t we sweet?

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