The bridal show even prisoners watch

You may think that tough guys don’t watch Say Yes to the Dress, the hit bridal reality show on Discovery Channel’s TLC. But host and Kleinfeld Bridal fashion director Randy Fenoli knows otherwise.

“Don’t tell me you don’t watch it,” he pooh-poohs the males — me among them — on a press junket to New York City. “My ass you don’t watch it!” The colorful host goes on to tell us about a prison security guard who came to Kleinfeld Bridal in Manhattan for his daughter’s wedding fitting. Fenoli says the guard, who works at a maximum state penitentiary in upstate New York, had mentioned to one of his co-workers that he was going to the chic salon after work. “And this inmate came up to him and said, ‘Yo, dude, if you’re going to Kleinfeld you got to see Randy, ‘cause he knows his (sh*t) about wedding dresses.’”

That’s when you know you’ve really crossed over: when not only teens, brides, mothers and grandmothers watch your show, but hardened criminals as well.

It’s a bit strange, maybe, but males do actually make up a sizeable portion of the audience for Say Yes to the Dress. Why is this? Fenoli, who grew up on an Illinois farm with six brothers and one sister and brings his bridal expertise to the show’s 13th season, thinks it has to do with putting each woman on a pedestal: “People ask me, how do you deal with those bridezillas? I don’t have bridezillas. I have a bride on a pedestal in front of me. She wants to look beautiful on her wedding day. And she wants everything perfect! When I have that bride on that pedestal, and she feels beautiful, those tears come into her eyes. I’m so proud of this show!”

But let’s not kid ourselves: half the entertainment value of the show is the drama. When those moms and mothers-in-law-to-be and sisters start knocking the dress on camera, that’s when sparks start to fly; and that’s what makes good television. Brides-to-be can get pretty touchy about criticism, even if they are wearing a Cinderella dress that makes their bazooms burst out like a Macy’s Day parade float. Fenoli knows that not every dress fits every bride — but there is a dress that’s perfect for every bride.

After 12 seasons on the hit TLC show, Fenoli is by now a bona fide bride whisperer. He uses all his powers and skills to bring that bride-to-be in for a safe landing. Sometimes, though, it takes a little tough love: “I’m more of a traditionalist. I think you should be covered, especially when your parents are there and your aunts, I don’t think they should see everything. You’ve seen the show, girls come in and say, ‘I paid for these (gesturing to his chest), I want to show ‘em off!’ Well, not everybody wants to see it, especially your mother or brother and everybody else.”

Of course, Say Yes to the Dress has brought some unusual jargon into the world of TV, including mermaid dresses and so-called “unicorn dresses” (i.e., one-of-a-kind, rarely spotted) and people always ask Fenoli about the latest bridal trends.

“What’s the hottest trend now? I say everything. If you want to be a princess, if you want to be Audrey Hepburn, if you want to be cut down to the navel with a low back, okay. If you want to be bohemian, or half-painted, or blinged out, I have a designer for you. So really, everything is in fashion now, and I think that’s great because it allows the bride to tell her story.” Storytelling is what Say Yes to the Dress — one of the top 10 Discovery Channel shows among Filipino viewers — excels at.

“I want brides to tell their story on their one day, their wedding day,” says Fenoli. “Tell us the story about her and her fiancé. Where did they meet? What kind of foods do they like to eat? Where do they like to travel, what are their hobbies, what music do they like to listen to? You put all these things together with your favorite colors and flowers and your friends, and you’ve got a wedding. It’s unique and individual to every bride.”

Fenoli is pretty unique himself. Growing up on a farm (“I hated those cows!”) with a military dad who often used him as a punching bag, the young designer found his niche when his mom left him alone with a sewing machine and a pair of scissors. “My mom couldn’t sew a hem on a terrycloth towel to save her life, but she had this sewing machine. She put it in my room and said ‘Do not touch my sewing machine, or my good fabric and do not touch my good scissors!’ She went to work one day as a home health nurse. We had a 10-foot dinner table for all us kids, so I laid out a pattern, pinned it down, sewed it, ironed, hung it from the door frame on a hanger. And she came home from work that night and said, ‘Where did this dress come from?’ I said I made it. She went to the bedroom and put it on, it fit like a glove, and she wore it to work the next day.

“The next day she came to me with this pattern and said, ‘Could you make me this skirt?’ Honey, I was in heaven!”

A degree from Fashion Institute of Technology in New York led him to designing fame and a job as fashion director at Kleinfeld, which segued neatly into being the bride’s best friend on-camera for Say Yes. At first, he wasn’t sure he was cut out to give bridal advice — after the first episode aired, he hid in his office, afraid he’d been too mean. “All of a sudden, this hand reaches in, grabs my arm and yanks me out. It’s the mother of a bride, and she says, ‘I saw you on the show last night. That girl had no business being in that dress! Can you come take a look at my daughter?’” A star was born.

When it comes to today’s trends, Fenoli is open-minded. He doesn’t pitch his own creations, but lavishes praise on other bridal designers, such as world-renowned Filipina Monique Lhuillier. “Oh, Monique! I didn’t know she was Filipino,” says Randy. “I have to be honest with you, I don’t see color, nationality or religion. I love Monique, though. Oh, my gosh, Monique’s style — she always gets inspired every season, and comes out strong. She doesn’t really follow the pack, she leads, and I like that about her. She’s a trendsetter, and a very smart woman. She’s a smart mother and wife and a good person all around.”

Sometimes the conversation on Say Yes heats up over cost. Kleinfeld is not exactly cheap, so Fenoli has to exercise a little patience when over-eager brides start going bananas. “Here’s the thing I tell brides: if you feel you’re mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to handle a bridal appointment. What I mean is you need to have a conversation before you come to the salon — with your parents or whoever — about how much you’re allowed to spend. Like if the bride says, ‘Oh, my budget is $10,000,’ and the mother says, ‘What? My budget is $3,000!’ So that needs to be discussed.”

With an average gown price of $2,500 to $3,500 at Kleinfeld (though some appointments can run as high as high as $75,000 for a custom Pnina Tornai ensemble), finding the right dress is sometimes about finding the right budget. And finessing those difficult family members. “You’ve always got a strong personality that’ll try to take over the appointment. I’ll take her aside and say, ‘Oh, my god, I love that blouse, look at that bracelet. Honey, you know your fashion! Oh my gosh, I know a dress you’re gonna love. Come with me.’ So I take them to the backroom, where nobody gets to go. So now I’ve got her on my side. Then I pull out a dress and say, ‘Look at this dress, this has you written all over it, ‘cause you are so stylish.’ Of course, it’s something I know the bride will love already. Honey, I‘ve got my tactics!”

I ask Randy if the legality of same-sex marriage in the US has led to changes in the bridal world — more matching wedding gowns, for instance. “Actually for bridal design it has,” he says, pointing to one dress on display at Discovery’s offices in midtown Manhattan. “Rina (di Montella) designed this dress. In her last collection, the first people to roll down the runway, it was two girls holding hands, one was wearing a beautiful beaded pantsuit and top, the other was wearing a dress. So it’s changed in that way. I think personally, if we can talk honestly here, we’ve got probably the biggest refugee crisis in the world right now — and we’re worried about what people are doing in the bedroom? I think it’s nonsense. As long as they’re two consenting adults, I don’t care what they’re doing. Go ahead and have fun, honey, I don’t care!”

Fun might be the reason people — even dudes in prison — can’t help but like the show. It captures those moments of drama behind the scenes — all the crying, the hair-pulling, the grimaces and tantrums before the couple actually says “I do.” Because before anyone can ever say “I do,” they have to say “yes” to the dress.

* * *

Say Yes to the Dress Season 13 airs Mondays to Fridays at 6 p.m. on TLC, starting Oct. 19.