What is the best etiquette advice you can give to mistresses?
It’s not for us to judge mistresses for allowing themselves to fall for married guys, but for whatever reasons they may have — whether it’s for love or financial security — in the eyes of the majority it can never be justified or right. Studies show being a mistress is a bittersweet experience — one can be very happy at the moment but this happiness is very temporary and fleeting, especially when one’s conscience starts to kick in.
My unsolicited advice to mistresses: run — as fast as you can — away from married men who try to catch your heart; value and respect yourself by never agreeing to and settling for being only “second” because everyone deserves to be the first and only one. And to those who are content with being a mistress, always remember she is, in a very real way, a “kept woman” — someone who will always remain kept away from the public eye, because it’s something you or your children will never be proud about. Stealing the happiness from the real family will never give one peace of mind and sooner or later, your actions will catch up with you, causing more heartache not only to you, but to your loved ones as well.
Be the best example to your children so the younger generation can emulate you; and lastly, when making a decision, always choose what is right in the eyes of Our Lord.
Kris Aquino, actress, TV host
Just don’t. Kasi sobrang hirap.
Kim Chiu, actress
It’s your own choice and your own decision. Pero dapat isipin mo na hindi talaga tama dahil may mga masasaktan kang tao.
Julie Yap Daza, columnist and author, Etiquette for Mistresses
Read my books.
Tootsy Angara, cluster sales head of ABS-CBN
Pray. And when you come to your senses, re-channel your energy and passion toward something that will make this world a better place; not create pain or sorrow, but joy and happiness. Besides, there are 3.66 billion men in the world, why settle for that one person who is making life miserable for all his loved ones? In this situation, everyone deserves better.
Cheena Crab, comedian
You’re in love and we get that; who are we to judge? Don’t expect too much from him, just love him half and not 100 percent so that when the time comes that he leaves you, then it’s not really hard for you to move on. Nag-cheat siya sa asawa niya, what makes you think na di niya yun gagawin sa yo? If kaya mong humiwalay nang maaga gawin mo na habang buo pa ang pagkatao mo at hindi ka pa wasak.
Iza Calzado, actress
I am in no position to give them advice except to make sure they think about the choices they make and the consequences of those choices.
Amy Perez Castillo, radio/TV host
Oh, wow, this is kind of hard to answer. The best advice I can give is for her to take time alone so she can reflect on herself or think if this is really the kind of life she wants to live. And hopefully during this time of reflection, she will realize that she deserves to be with the single man that God intended for her: a man who will love and accept her no matter what her past is.
Giselle Sanchez, Real Talk host/CNN Philippines, comedian
Leave him! Point out to him that his family needs him. Honestly libog lang yan. Kung hindi yan tawag ng laman, tawag yan ng pangangailangan. There are so many fish in the ocean; you can hook ones that are not hooked yet. Learn to empathize and put yourself in the wife’s shoes. What goes around comes around. You are a woman that deserves respect and dignity. And wrecking a home is certainly not the way to earn that.
Kriz Gamen, writer, Star Cinema
Everybody deserves to be loved without fear and without guilt. True love should never be hidden but should be celebrated openly. I will advise them to get out of the relationship while they still can.
Raul Manzano, editor in chief, Metro Society
Make hay while it lasts as you, too, can be replaced anytime.
