Peter Coyiuto: My dad, my superhero

In typical Chinese fashion, we celebrated Dad’s 59th birthday as his 60th at Buddha Bar where he was greeted by family and friends.

MANILA, Philippines - My dad, Peter Coyiuto, is my hero, plain and simple. This year he turned 59, and in typical Chinese fashion, we celebrated it as his 60th birthday at the Buddha Bar Manila.

In an unprecedented display of awkward dancing talent, our whole family — Dad Peter and Mom Elena, joined by us kids — grooved and swayed to the remixed sounds of the ‘80s Shake Your Groove Thing by Peaches & Herb and the contemporary Treasure by Bruno Mars.

My usually camera-shy dad was also shown in a hilarious video clip on why people should see him as more than just an “insurance guy.”

For starters, Dad was seen in a serious mood deftly putting on a genuine bowtie while in a black tuxedo á la Justin Timberlake…but paired with his favorite short pants and running shoes as he drove away in a sports car. Then came a show of his impeccable butterfly swimming style where he confessed to “getting so close to being cast in the Hollywood TV series Baywatch… as a drowning victim.”

Not to be left out was the show of his stamina and strength in running, with a clip of him, however, being outrun by his grandkids. Last was a bit about his preoccupation with a “balanced work life,” in which he was seen busy juggling Facebook, Twitter, Instagram with hashtags #gwapo, #champion and #59isthenew29. Not too late for one who was born in the age of rotary telephones, black and white massive TV sets with vacuum tubes, and manual typewriters. He proudly admits to being born in the same year as his idols Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs.

A firm believer in the mantra “from the society, to the society,” my dad chose Caritas Manila, now chaired by Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, and represented during the event by its executive director Father Anton Pascual, as the beneficiary of the generous donations from close to a thousand friends and guests. Its programs for poverty alleviation are in education and economics.

One of my earliest memories as a child is that of my superman dad carrying me over his shoulders. I have two boys of my own now, and my dad still does the same with them. It’s their special moment, seeing the world together.

This is just the kind of man my dad is. He lifts people above and shows them a different perspective of the world. He is a man with a single, one-directional focus to be the best in what he does. At times my dad seems larger than life. He has a loud voice, commanding attention. But underneath this he is quiet, private and introverted. He uses jokes to deflect praise and is quick to give credit to those around him.

The insurance magnate

It is so rare to find someone who fiercely loves what he does. My dad, the man behind the company First Life Financial, views his business as a gift and as an opportunity to serve others. Inspired by his friend, the late insurance guru Al Granum, he believes that “in every encounter with another human being you either lift them up or you beat them down. No exposure is ever precisely neutral.” This is the same idea that guides the ethical principles by which Dad built his company.

Building on the reputation in the insurance industry established by his late father Robert Coyiuto Sr., the first Filipino to become a member of the prestigious Lloyds of London, Dad built First Life Financial from the ground up while instilling passion and professionalism among his well-selected financial planners.  First Life has been a network pooling partner of Swiss Life since 1996, the world’s largest employee benefits pooling network.

A staunch advocate of industry involvement, my dad has held various roles in the Philippine Life Insurance Association where he was a two-term president. On the global scene, he takes a leadership role as the organizing chairman for the 2015 Pacific Insurance Conference (PIC), an international conglomeration of senior executives from various financial services industries in life and health insurance, retirement savings and wealth management.  

The athlete

As an athlete, Dad was team captain for his high school’s basketball team. He loves golf, swimming and running, and believes that the rigor and discipline one gets from sports can be applied to life. Playing sports relaxes him, keeps him grounded, and he gets to meet fellow enthusiasts who have now become his closest friends.

One of Dad’s favorite movies of all time is Chariots of Fire, a film on the true story of British athletes preparing for and competing in the 1924 Summer Olympics: Eric Liddell, a devout Scottish Christian who runs for the glory of God, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew who runs to overcome prejudice. Dad finds inspiration in what Eric said in the movie, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”

The family man

The one person who has a claim on my dad’s heart bigger than that of his kids is my mom Elena. My mom was, and always will be my dad’s first love. She is the creative side to my dad’s one-track mind, the free spirit to my dad’s rigid discipline, the calm to my dad’s energy, the soul to my dad’s brilliance. 

Growing up, my mom repeatedly told me that I should marry someone like my dad — steadfast, fair, and kind. Anxiety would settle over me, because I doubted that I would find someone who would match up.

As a daughter, I was spoiled. My dad is a gracious and gentle man. He has a soft spot for his children, and can never say no to us. But he could be strict. I was under a no-dating policy even after I graduated from college. My now-husband was given the evil eye from the very minute he set foot in our house asking to take me on a movie date.

When my now-husband Joseph Tay proposed, he was still getting the cold-shoulder treatment from my dad. That summer, Joseph joined us on our yearly family trip to the Gold Coast, Australia. The second day upon arrival, Dad woke my still jet-lagged husband up before the crack of dawn at 5 a.m. They went for a long jog together at the beach, where he supposedly grilled Joseph on the intricacies of marriage, and his intentions as the future husband of his daughter. Luckily, he must have been satisfied with Joseph’s answers. As a reward, Joseph got invited for a swim in ice cold water after that long jog.

The orator

As far as I can remember, the biggest highlight of every family event was my Dad’s speeches. As a speechwriter, Dad can inspire, make people laugh and cry. He can give standup comedians a run for their money. US President Barack Obama and the late John F. Kennedy are but a few of his role models.

In the thank-you speech he gave at his birthday party, he said:

About his name Peter: “I have had a hard, tough life. All of my siblings had ill resentment towards me because the second I was born and when my parents saw my face, they knew that I would be the most promising and the chosen one. So obviously, they named me after Christ’s most beloved apostle, but I have stayed grounded knowing that I am not perfect — the same man denied Christ three times.”

Age:  “I just want to make it clear, I am a long way off from getting my senior discount and free movie pass in Makati.”

Family: “Everybody has their own favorite family quotation. Mine is this. All of us at any given time would offer a life for the survival of a family member and yet we lead our daily life too often taking them for granted. A happy family is but an early heaven.”

The La Salle and Wharton alumnus

If you would ask me to name my dad’s greatest passions in life, La Salle and Wharton would top the list.

My dad is a very proud graduate of La Salle and he admires the personal sacrifices made by the La Salle brothers to further education in the Philippines. One of his oft-repeated phrases is that all the Brothers will go straight to heaven. The fact that two of his kids went to Ateneo de Manila University is often the topic of jokes at his high school reunions.

As a Wharton school alum, my dad is an unmistakeable moving force in keeping the Philippine alumni association on its feet. Dad keynoted the joint alumni associations’ general assembly with President Benigno Aquino III as the guest of honor. This passion for education has always driven my siblings and me to make our education top priority. Our dad did the impossible: he convinced kids that school can be fun.

The leader

Dad once told me that he tries to live his life according to the Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith, originally written at Harvard University as part of a book for student leaders. Among the commandments are:

“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

“Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.”

My dad is both too young and too old for his age. On one hand, he goes through the day with the same energy as that of a teenager. On the other hand, everything he has done for his family and his career surpasses his years.

He’s my superhero.