Should we welcome new friends into our clique?
Dear Nanay
I want to share some advice for S who wrote to you regarding bringing a new member into their barkada.
First of all, it is always difficult for newcomers in a clique. The experience can be similar to what children feel when they have to transfer to a new school, which means new friends and a new environment. It is the same for adults; for some, it might even be harder.
But if you ask me, I think any barkada should be open to bringing in new people into the group if that person has something meaningful to contribute. She will bring in new thoughts and ideas, and probably new life as well. And won’t it be better to have one more person whose company all can enjoy?
If it doesn’t work out and she doesn’t really fit in, I think the relationship will die naturally. After a while, she just won’t be having any fun so she will leave the barkada and stop attending your get-togethers or dinners.
So don’t worry about it and just give it a try. Do something casual and easy, like lunch. That will give you an opportunity to see if there is chemistry between her and the rest of the group. As I said, if there is no chemistry everyone will know it and she will probably just not go to your next gathering. Anna
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Will we click?
Dear Nanay,
I read your article last week and saw the letter sent by S, who wanted to know whether or not they should accept a new member to their clique.
I have one advice for her: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! If your clique’s chemistry is already in place and you girls are already having fun, then I suggest you do not rock the boat anymore. Bringing a new element into what is a very stable environment can destroy the environment. You never know what will happen, so if I were you, just keep things the way they are if they are doing well anyway.
Bringing in H must be a consensus. You should all agree 100 percent so you don’t end up blaming each other if things don’t work out. It should be all or nothing. JHG
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