Thank you, Stephen Covey

MANILA, Philippines - My heart broke when, on July 14, I saw on TV that Stephen Covey had passed away. His book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, sold more than 20 million copies and was considered one of the most influential leadership and management books ever written.

It was almost our bible at the Asian Institute of Management where I took my MDM (Master’s in Development Management) .

The time machine is hidden. Twenty-one years ago, I was in a batch of 40 development executives and practitioners of public and civil society organizations, cooperatives and non-profit firms from within Asia and beyond. There were 10 of us from the Philippines. I was the second eldest in the group, the eldest from Malaysia.

The image of the first day stays with me. Our first exam was: “Why are you here at AIM?” In answer, we essayed our life history, particularly on how we were handpicked by our head offices to take the qualifying exams and interview.

However, I almost found myself in tears when I got the result: F! Only two of us got a P! Assigned to our respective advisers, we were to write our Personal Mission Statement, but not until after we would visualize what we wanted ourselves to be. We began by listing all the things that were important to us. I wrote down the things I wanted to do: to empower, motivate and inspire people to live happier and more fulfilled lives, in my capacity as a wife and mother and social worker.

That would be the beginning of our love affair with Stephen Covey whose Seven Habits book is celebrating its 15th year of helping people solve their personal as well as professional problems. With penetrating insights, he reveals a step-by-step pathway for living with fairness, integrity, service and human dignity — principles that would give us the serenity to adapt to change and the wisdom and passion to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.

I was a contented government employee in a growing city in the north and my adviser, Prof. Nandy, quoting Peter Drucker, guessed it right that while I must have been doing the right things (management), I was here at AIM to do things right (leadership).While he approved of my personal mission statement, he would give a picture of things to come. After AIM, what I would learn about myself and my behavior would affect my managerial effectiveness. The key components of team dynamics, to understand individual goals, values, strengths and weaknesses, would lead to a more effective style of management and overall team performance. By coaching, I would create a climate for effective employee learning and as such I would make a happy social worker and, in the long run, a happier wife and mother.

Sounded good to me. But then I had to consider my age. I must have stayed so long from the city, to the point of hibernation, while my classmates had already made it big. While they were talking on the macro level, I was talking micro! I only knew of the barangay. Managers in their own right, they monopolized the discussions on financial management, where we talked every day of return on investment (ROI) , gross national product (GNP), market positioning.

More than once, I felt like I could no longer go the distance. Feeling sorry for myself, I chided my bosses at our central office that if they really wanted to get rid of me, they didn’t have to kick me up to AIM!

My classmates had their own laptops and would do their homework at the dorm. I could not even buy one. Our three older kids were in college and were all staying in a cramped apartment in Tandang Sora, from where I commuted every day. The grant did not include accommodations.

But Seven Habits says that our character is a composite of our habits. Changing habits is hard but can be done with tremendous commitment. It warns us against being reactive. While reactive people focus on things they can’t control, proactivity means that we are responsible for our lives. Our behavior is a fruit of our decisions, not our conditions.

We have the initiative to make things happen.

We social workers are known to use only our right brain, always thinking with our hearts, as if that alone was enough. My lowest grades in Diliman were those in math and chemistry. Each time I had to do some computation, I felt like throwing up, but Edel told me that math is no different from reading. Our Indian friend Malini reminded me that we needed figures to analyze a subpar performance. It needed a whole lot of work, work, work. And Dean Ed Morato was saying that if you are working, you are praying! What a rare thing to hear from a management man!

To survive, we had to master the habits of attention, the art of expression, of entering quietly into another person’s thoughts, of indicating assent or dissent in graduated terms, and of working out what is possible in a given time. Aside from the daily homework, we had to submit six Written Analyses of Cases (WACs) and a Management Research Report (MRR), equivalent to a thesis!

I attended a computer crash course and became a permanent fixture not only in the computer room but also in the library. Most importantly, I made friends with my classmates from the business world as well as from the non-profit organizations. In the afternoon we would do our WACs together, they helping me with finance while, for the second module on social organizations, I shared my experiences with GOs, NGOs and the barangays.

Our discussions in and out of the classroom using the case method sharpened our communication skills and allowed us to learn from the different points of view from my classmates brought about by the different cultures. The diversity resulted in stronger synergies, more fruitful learning and closer friendships. Towards the end of the school year, we were one in saying that we should always treat our employees as they would want to treat their best customers, and that the best contributions of our employees are their hearts and minds.

In the early evening, I would already be able to submit my WAC in the drop-box installed in the hallway. My brother-in-law whose office was at the nearby SGV on de la Rosa St. would pick me up on his way home to his and my sister Elenita’s residence in Tierra Pura close by. It was also my chance to say hi and goodnight to my mom who was living with them. Little did we know that we would lose her sooner than we thought.

Meanwhile on the home front, after dinner, the three kids and me would gather round the table to read the morning papers and to share stories of the day. These watching-the-kids instances were just so precious, I would not trade them for anything else. “Treasure these moments,” I would tell them, “as by the time you will land on your respective jobs, and have families of your own, you will look back to now, with fondness.” Parenting, I tell you, is not for the faint of heart.

On weekends when my classmates would do some jamming, it was also time for me to bond with my three kids and the youngest, born later in life, who would join us from the province with her dad (a government employee like myself), carrying veggies, fruit and other favorite food from Ilocos. Together we would go to Tierra Pura for church, lunch, movie, manicure, massage or a birthday party of a cousin or a town mate.

It was schooling for one year cum grand vacation in Manila! It was just a matter of prioritizing, organizing, time management and self-discipline. It was time to revisit my personal mission statement for me to enhance from time to time: “To empower, motivate, and inspire people to live happier and more fulfilled lives, in my capacity as a wife/mother, social worker and a friend.”

This week's winner

Pureza Ramiro Pacis, of Vintar, Ilocos Norte, is enjoying her retirement with her husband Nick, also retired from the Department of Agrarian Reform. At times the couple are either in Vintar, Ilocos Norte, in Manila or in the States, helping take care of their grandsons, Kix and Lance.