Oh, Mother!

On a trip to Los Angeles two weeks ago, I saw the most painful sight I have ever seen. That of my mother lying motionless in bed, her body getting sustenance from tubes, her breathing helplessly difficult, her eyelids heavily closed. My tears fell endlessly and I tried my best for her not to sense any sadness, for I knew she could hear.

Looking at the walls filled with loving notes and cards from her children and grandchildren, and photographs of a life filled with love as well as sacrifice, my mind went back to the time when she cuddled me in her arms. When she introduced me to the joy of reading, piano playing, sewing, cooking and gardening. When she taught me the meaning of motherhood in terms of supreme devotion and unconditional love. When she taught me to believe in the power of prayer. My first trip to Lourdes was with her. And I have gone back many more times because of her.

The memory of my visit  still brings pain in my heart, with feelings of gratitude and remorse stirring my consciousness. I thank her for being such a loving, beautiful mother. I regret those little chances I missed to show her I really care — the long-distance calls that should have been longer. The cards I should have sent more often.

So today, Mother’s Day, I will call her and remind her how much I love her. Her eyes are closed but I know she can  hear.

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Luckier are you whose mothers are well enough to share a day of bonding with you. Let’s listen to some famous mothers and children as they talk about what being a mother means and what lessons each one learns from the other:

Quezon City Vice Mayor Joy Belmonte-Alimurung is an archaeologist-turned-politician. She has done incredible things for her constituents, but right now, she tells about her otherdreams: “I wish all kids could go to a museum or play in a park on weekends. I also want everyone to grow vegetables at home. I dream of creating an environment where women can work and raise children at the same time.”

Gael Javier, her seven-month premie who is now three years old, was named after his mom’s favorite actor, Gael Garcia Bernal and his dad Raymond Alimurung’s hero, Evelio Javier. Gael counts in four languages — English, Filipino, Spanish and Japanese — with a thick Bisaya accent. Mom Joy says, “He loves doing his homework and reading expiry dates on milk and medicines. He now knows not to stick his finger in the electric fan.”

Joy Belmonte-Alimurung

Being a mother means hunting for size XXL diapers in the middle of the night while traveling in Japan.

The best lesson I have taught my son is that when he does something wrong, I still love him.

The best lesson my son has taught me is that I don’t have to be guilty about being a working mom.

My son made me cry when I was bleeding profusely and thought I had a miscarriage during the first trimester.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is  I’ve taken my son to 10 museums in four countries but never to Disneyland; and I probably never will.

Gael Javier Belmonte Alimurung

What I love most about my mom is she never shouts at me or spanks me.

The best lesson she has taught me is when I’m a bad boy, she says that I’m a good boy, and good boys don’t do that.

I wish my mom could stop buying paintings that scare me.

I made my mom cry when I threw her iPhone in the toilet.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she taught me yoga when I was a year old.

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Ballsy Aquino-Cruz with sons Jonty and Jiggy beside the late President Cory Aquino’s portrait: Ready to sacrifice everything for her children.

We all remember Ballsy Aquino-Cruz  as that gently smiling but well-poised presence beside the late Tita Cory Aquino from the time she held office as the president who helped bring back our freedom, to the last days of her life as a  beloved icon. Ballsy is the firm “Ate” to her siblings Pinky, Noynoy, Viel and Kris, and Mommy to  two brilliant sons Jiggy and Jonty.

Jiggy is a coffee lover who works in Nestle Philippines and manages the Nescafe Dolce Gusto brand. Jonty is the deputy managing editor of Esquire Philippines. He says he hopes to be a great writer like his mentors Erwin Romulo and Luis Katigbak. “Both Jiggy and Jonty inherited the best traits of his grandparents — the charisma of  Ninoy and the heart of Cory. A testament to how well they were raised by their parents, Ballsy and Eldon Cruz,” says Erwin.

Ballsy Aquino-Cruz

Being a mother means being ready to sacrifice everything for my children. Everything, even my life.

The best lesson I have taught my sons is to ask our Blessed Mother for help when they have problems. I told them that I am just an ordinary mom but I’ll do anything and everything I can for them.

The best lesson my sons have taught me is to be grateful for all my blessings.

My sons made me cry when they wrote me a beautiful, heartwarming letter on my first birthday after my mom passed on.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is we watch ballgames together and we cheer and jump together.

Jiggy Cruz

What I love most about my mom is that she will always be there for her kids, no matter what.

The best lesson she has taught me is that you can always say anything in a nice way. You don’t have to raise your voice to have a message sent.

I wish my mom could put herself ahead of others from time to time. She always puts others ahead of herself. She needs a break, too.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she’s a “Bejeweled” fanatic!

Jonty Cruz

What I love most about my mom is how incredibly humble she is.

The best lesson she has taught me is to treat everyone with respect.

I wish my mom could have fun from time to time.

I made my mom cry when I once lied to her (haha).

What people don’t know about my mom is that she’s an avid Coca-Cola consumer.

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Kaye Tinga with children Kerry, Kody, Kylie and Kristian: “Their happiness is the single most important driving force in my life.”

Kaye Tinga was deeply immersed in socio-civic work when her husband, Congressman Freddie Tinga, was three-term Mayor of Taguig. Helping improve people’s lives has become a way of life for Kaye who is now busy with Bantay Bata’s “Mother for Others” project. Acclaimed as a woman of style, Kaye runs W/17 together with Andy Vasquez-Prada. It is a home store that brings the best of Philippine-made products at the forefront, together with carefully-selected products from all over the world. A nationalist at heart, Kaye is often seen wearing the creations of Philippine designers.

Daughter Kylie, 16, wants to be an editor and plans to take up publishing in college. Kerry, 14, still wants to be a princess when she grows up. Kody, 9, is the family CEO who reads business books for fun. Kristian, 4, loves Thomas and thinks he can be a local version of Captain America.

Kaye Tinga

Being a mother means loving someone more than yourself. Everything takes second place to your children’s needs. It is a gift beyond compare.

The best lesson I have taught my children is to live a meaningful life. Success means enjoying what you do and making a difference in the process.

The best lesson my children have taught me is to be true to yourself. It’s wonderful to see them enjoy things that children their age don’t normally like, such as classic literature, old movies, and ’70s music, and they don’t feel the need to conform to their peers.

My children make me cry when I see them take care of each other, I would like to think this is due to my guidance, but a big part of it is their strong sense of family.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is I’ll give up everything for my children. Their happiness is the single most important driving force in my life.

Kylie Tinga

What I love most about my mom is that whenever I feel down, I can talk to her. If I have an issue at school, she’s the first person I bring it up to.

The best lesson she has taught me is the value of hard work.

I wish my mom could stay awake during movies. I understand that she gets very tired, but it’s discouraging that she sleeps through some of my favorite movies in the cinema. On the other hand, it also helps me figure out that a movie is really good if she stays awake for it.

I made my mom cry when I graduated from middle school, and whenever she realizes that I’m going to college next year, because she ends up realizing I’m not a little girl any more.

Kerry Tinga

What I love most about my mom is the way she treats me like an adult to my face, which, let’s face it, is the one thing a teenager in any time and space strives for. Yet, where it really matters, she knows I’m a child who cries over spilt milk, who regrets things said or done right after they occur, who doesn’t know more about what her true opinion is “than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company.”

The best lesson she taught me is that change is not something to be scared of, but change that is entirely for someone else and not for you is. If you can’t take care of yourself then how can one expect you to take care of others?

I wish my mom could write a book, I would love it if she could write everything down so that I could read it and use it in the future: every tip and trick, every piece of advice, every experience that shaped her so that I could be as great a mom as she.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she would rather stay in all day in pajamas, sleeping and eating chocolate, than go out.

Kody Tinga

What I love most about my mom is that she’s always there for me.

The best lesson she taught me is to forgive others.

I made my mom cry when I was jumping on a bed and I hit my head after falling off.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she likes Law and Order.

Kristian Tinga

What I love most about my mom is she takes care of me.

The best lesson she has taught me is to love my family — Mama, Papa, Kylie, Kerry, Kody and Yaya Sally.

I wish my mom would not call me a baby. I’m a big boy.

I made my mom cry when I was naughty.

Super grandma Dr. Elenita Binay (seated, center)and (from left) Nancy Binay-Angeles with her kids Benjamin, Anya, Pepi and Ito; Abigail Binay-Campos with Martina; Mayor Junjun Binay’s children Alexi, Maria, Jejomar III and Ken; Joanna Marie Binay with Joaquin; and Anne Binay-Alcantara with Lian, Sachi and Diego at the Coconut Palace, headquarters of Vice President Jejomar Binay.

What people don’t know about my mom is she eats cookies for breakfast.

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Dr. Elenita Binay is not only a devoted mother; she is also a doting grandma who insists that a pictorial would not be complete without her 13 grandchil-dren.

“She is like a mother to us. She loves us no matter what happens,” says her pretty and vivacious granddaughter Alexi, 9, the eldest daughter of Makati Mayor Junjun Binay. The death of their mother Kenken three years ago made Alexi and her three siblings — Maria,6, Jejomar III, 4, and Ken, 3,cuddle closer to their grandmother who is now their virtual mom.

Dr. Binay equally treasures her other grandchildren: Benjamin, 10; Anya, 9 and twins Pepi and Ito, 3 (from Nancy Binay and Pepito Angeles); Martina, 3 (from Abigail Binay and Luis Campos); Lian, 6; Sachi, 5; and Diego, 8 months (from Anne Binay and Don Alcantara); and Joaquin, 1 (from Joanna Marie Binay).

When not attending to her duties as the better half of Vice President Jejomar Binay who is a dynamo as ever, Dr. Binay enjoys playing with her grandchildren. If you hear the delicious laughter of children at the Coconut palace, you can be sure the Doctora is in.

Elenita Binay

Being a mother means being a good friend.

The best lesson I have taught my children is to be God-fearing, humble and helpful.

The best lesson my children have taught me is to be always strong and happy.

My daughters make me cry every time they give birth. Now I have 13 grandchildren.

What people don’t know about me is that I’m a super mommy and a super grandma.

Nancy Binay-Angeles

What I love most about my mom is gave up her medical practice just to take care of the family.

The best lesson my mom has taught me is how to be an ate to my sisters and brother.

I wish my mom could travel more.

Mother-daughter bonding time: Dr. Elenita Binay with Nancy, Abigail, Anne and Joanne Marie

I made my mom cry when I gave birth to their first grandchild. She was with me inside the delivery room.

What people don’t know about my mom is that aside from being a good mother, she is also a good daughter and sister.

Abigail Binay-Campos

What I love most about my mom is her energy.

The best lesson she has taught me is to be a good mother to my daughter.

I wish my mom could see how big an impact she has made on my life.

I made my mom cry when I won a seat in Congress in 2007.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she is a frudstrated architect/interior designer.

Anne Binay-Alcantara

What I love most about my mom is that I can always count on her 24/7.

The best lesson she has taught me is to be a good mother and a good wife.

I wish my mom could reach 100 years old so she can see her great grandchildren.

I made my mom cry when I got married.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she loves to decorate the house.

Joanne Marie Binay

What I love most about my mom is that  she cares for us and loves us unconditionally.

The best lesson she has taught me is to be independent and responsible for all my actions.

I wish my mom could stay alive forever.

I made my my mom cry during my high school graduation. Maybe she will cry again when I get my college diploma.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she loves gardening.

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Cynthia Villar with her children Mark, Paolo and Camille: “Love your children but at the same time be firm and fair in disciplining them.”

Cynthia Villar is a popular three-term Congresswoman of Las Piñas whose livelihood projects have benefited countless  people, including those outside her domain. A financial analyst and college professor until she married former House Speaker and Senate President Manny Villar, Cynthia helped her husband in various entrepreneurial ventures. Eventually they made Vista Land the biggest homebuilder in the country.

But the achievement Cynthia and Manny are proudest of is inculcating the values of hard work work and perseverance among their children. Paolo and Mark are graduates of the Wharton School of Finance-University of Pennsylvania. Paolo is now the CEO of their publicly-listed housing company Vista Land, while Mark is the  Congressman of the lone district of Las Piñas. Camille is president and COO of their upscale subsidiary Brittany Corporation and co-host of Wil Time Bigtime.

What a goodlooking, hardworking family.

Cynthia Villar

Being a mother means having the heart to love your children unconditionally while at the same time being firm and fair in disciplining them.

The best lessons I have taught my children are the same lessons I learned from my mother, which are to always be industrious, live simply, and be ready to share their blessings with the community.

The best lesson my children have taught me is that they belong to a generation very different from mine and that I have to adjust to the ways of the younger generation. Not to say one generation’s style is more correct than the other, just different.

My most joy-filled memories of my children close to making me cry was on the day that they were able to enter good universities and on their graduation day from college. To me, it meant that I had brought them to a point in their lives where they could stand on their own and find their own purpose and success.

I was also very happy when Paolo was named CEO of Vista Land, a publicly-listed company. It meant that he made the grade. It was a dream come true for him and for me.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is that I am visibly a disciplinarian and not very demonstrative in showing my affection, but I constantly monitor if my children are doing all right — even when it comes to the small details like their wardrobe.

Mark Villar

What I love most about my mom is that she is a very passionate woman. Once she has something in mind, she won’t let anything stop her from achieving her desired goals. She’s always driven and very hard-working.

The best lesson she has taught me is to always be self-reliant and be financially-independent.  Growing up, my parents taught me my brother and sister the importance of education and how it would determine our future. It may be true that we are provided for very well, but we are very much aware that not everything comes easy. We need to work hard for a comfortable future.

I make my mom cry when we do not agree on some matters. I believe it’s normal for a mother and child to have disagreements sometimes but we make sure to talk about it before the day ends.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she is a very hands-on mother. She looks after everything and everyone from our household even when it comes to work. She’s very organized and responsible.

Paolo Villar

What I love most about my mom is that she is obsessed about giving her children the best chances for a good life.

The best lesson she has taught me is that good education, discipline, and hard work can take you very, very far.

I wish my mom would not be too hard on her self especially when some of her projects don’t turn out as she had hoped. I know that she cares a lot about her work and tends to take disappointments personally, but I sometimes worry about the possible effect on her health.

I made my mom cry when I got accepted into a good university. I know that she prepared for our college education very early on in our lives.

What people don’t know about my mom is the fact that she has had extensive business education and experience — that she’s an accomplished businesswoman is not talked about very often, which is a shame considering it’s one of her strengths.

Camille Villar

What I love most about my mom is that that she is an excellent role model for me. My mom is one of the simplest, most hardworking, and most accomplished women that I know. She is passionate and genuinely fights for what she believes in. Above all, she has always put her family first, trying to be the best mother and wife that she can be. I hope to be even half the woman that she is someday.

The best lesson she has taught me is the importance of being my own person. She always reminds me of how important it is to empower myself through education, to pursue my own interests and career, and to pursue things with passion.  More importantly, she has taught me these not through words, but by how she lives her life.

I wish my mom would sometimes remember to relax and take a break to enjoy herself. She’s always so busy helping other people, taking care of others, and working on certain projects that she might sometimes forget that she also needs to time to take care of herself.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she’s a thoroughly organized person both at work and at home. But while she is outwardly serious, she is actually a little bit of a “stage mother.” No matter how busy she is, she always takes the time to watch or look at whatever it is I’m doing and tells me whether I look good, whether what I’m wearing is okay, whether I’ve done well, or whether something needs improvement. It’s very sweet of her.

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Vicki Belo with Cristalle Henares: “My kids comfort me anytime I’m in need.”

The country’s most famous beauty doctor, Vicki Belo, is happily described by her daughter Cristalle Henares as “newly single and work-ing so hard.” It was Vicki who made procedures such as botox and liposuction  accessible to everyone who wants to lift one’s face — as well as one’s self-esteem. Vicki is constantly bringing in new beautifying and slimming techniques, and her clientele is composed of billboard-worthy personalities as well as celebrities in business and politics.

Cristalle is the managing director handling Sexy Solutions and the Belo Medical Group marketing. Her brother Quark, currently taking his master’s in Business Administration at the University of Southern California, is an award-winning film director. Together with their dad, businessman Atom Henares, and mom Vicki, the two kids  take regular trips together as a family. Sunday dinner is sacred bonding time for them.

Vicki Belo

Being a mother means giving unconditional love and caring for someone more than yourself. Like Kahlil Gibran said: 

“Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” 

 I am just a caretaker. All I have to do is to  help them find their dharma, the reason why God put them here on earth.

The best lesson I have taught Cristalle is the same lesson my father taught me. Every time we see less-fortunate people, he would always say, “It’s there but for the grace of God go we.” To me this meant that I was just very blessed to have been born with parents who were so good and could afford to raise me comfortably. My father always taught me to always give back and help the people in our country.

The best lesson Cristalle and Quark have taught me is to be more tactful and diplomatic. 

Cristalle and Quark make me cry when they become the “parents” and support and comfort me any time I’m in need. I feel unconditional love from the two of them.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is that  I am a cool and cariñosa mom.

Cristalle Belo Henares

What I love most about my mom is that she still has that “inner” kid in her. Although she runs a beauty empire and works diligently to be the best at her profession, she always makes time to make her inner kid come out and play.

The best lesson she has taught me is the truth holds more weight more than any lie. Her actions are true to her beliefs and values. Although ridicule may follow, she is always honest to herself. 

 I wish my mom could take a step back, breathe, relax and embrace all the accomplishments she has worked so hard to achieve.

I made my mom cry when I told her I would leave her for a year and go on a personal mission to volunteer in Bukidnon. It was the first time in 20 years that we were apart for that long. 

What people don’t know about my mom is that she sleepwalks to the fridge in the middle of the night looking for chocolate!

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Dr. Aivee Aguilar-Teo on Imelda Aguilar: She is the best cook. She has a photographic memory.

Imelda Tobias Aguilar, the wife of Las Piñas Mayor Nene Aguilar, is perhaps better known now as the mother of famous dermatologist Aivee Aguilar- Teo, beauty doctor to the rich and famous, as well as healer to underprivileged constituents of Las Piñas.

Married for 43 years now, Nene and Imelda have three other daughters: April Aguilar-Nery, Alelee Aguilar-Andanar and Anne Virgil Aguilar. Aivee and her husband, Singaporean aesthetic surgeon Dr. Z Teo, maintain clinics both in Singapore and the Philippines.

Imelda Aguilar

Being a mother means everything to me.

The best lesson I have taught Aivee is to always see the good side in every person.

The best lesson Aivee has taught me is to not only think for others but also for myself.

My daughter Aivee made me cry when she got married and I thought she was moving to Singapore for good.

What people don’t know about me as a mom is that I was actually quite strict with my daughters when they were younger. I am glad they turned out well and are very good girls.

Aivee Aguilar-Teo

What I love most about my mom is that she’s such a loving and generous mother. She takes care of me, my husband and my kids. She’s the best cook. She extends her love for cooking even to my closest friends and patients.

The best lesson she has taught me is to be compassionate to others, especially to the needy; to give back to the community; and to be selfless.

I wish my mom could spoil herself even for a day and not feel guilty about it.

What people don’t know about my mom is that she has a photographic memory. She can remember everything, even to the smallest detail.