What are words worth?
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. — John 1:1
I’m a wordsmith. As a lawyer and a writer, words are the very tools of my trade. However, some people may dismiss what I write — or say — as being mere “empty words.” But, in truth, our words hold great power. In fact, as the bible quotation reminds us, our very existence is predicated on the power of the word. With our words we have the ability to inspire people, to engage in intelligent debate, and to instruct and guide others. Unfortunately, our words also have the power to demolish reputations, to destroy hope, to infect, and to slander. Mere letters and sounds placed together, creating the spoken word, have, when used positively, brought encouragement to entire nations during their darkest hours and, when used negatively, have influenced civilizations to commit the most unspeakable of atrocities.
And yet despite this awesome power, how many of us are truly careful with our words? There is a peculiar Filipino cultural norm that demonstrates how we are sometimes imprudent with what we say: it is common when friends see each other after a long period of separation to say, “Pare mukhang tumataba ka ngayon ah” (translation: “My friend, looks like you’re getting fat”). This is, of course, said with an air of pseudo-concern and there are numerous variations such as, “lumalaki tayo” (translation: “You are getting huge”) or with a dose of irony, “mare, slim na slim ka ngayon” (translation: “My friend, you are so slim now”). In the past, I myself was wont to make similar comments but now I realize that my seemingly innocuous statements about a person’s weight may in fact have been deeply hurtful or offensive. Perhaps the person who was getting fat was struggling with health issues and body-image problems. He may have been severely depressed about being overweight. My reminding them of their weight may have actually undermined their effort to lose unnecessary pounds. By saying that they were overweight, I may have discouraged them from exercising or following a healthy eating plan. The point is that we should always be mindful of the power our words have over others.
But as much as we have the power to dishearten, we likewise have the ability to encourage and uplift with our words. The Bible tells us that “pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Also that a “word fitly spoken is like an apple of gold in a setting of silver.” The right word of encouragement to someone down on his luck financially, a mere statement of support to a friend that you are praying for his wife who has cancer, or short inspirational talk with someone going through the pain of an annulment can be powerful, healing and uplifting. American writer and evangelist Joel Osteen has said that the only voice that God has in this world is our human voice and that when we encourage others to what is good, God’s supernatural power becomes enmeshed in our human words giving it supernatural power and effect.
In a perfect world, people would only speak words of sound advice and encouragement but, of course, imperfection is a part of our human reality. As a matter of fact, in the real world, there are people who will use their words as venom, poisoning our minds with untruths. Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book The Four Agreements, which is based on the Toltec religion, talks about how each person is actually a magician or sorcerer because of the power of the human word and that we all cast spells, positive and negative, upon each other. So in the workplace, your officemate who consistently criticizes how you look, what you are wearing, or treats you with disrespect is actually casting a powerful spell on you through her words and actions. Some are unable to withstand the negative word-spells of this officemate from hell and begin to accept her criticisms — that they are fat, ugly, stupid, or insignificant — as truth.
If Osteen’s claim is true — that when we speak words of goodness and encouragement, God’s supernatural power is imbedded in our human voice — then perhaps when we speak evil, when we discourage, and when we slander, we are unwittingly tapping into a source that is the opposite of divine.
My reference to an insidious source of the power behind evil and discouraging words is based on my Muslim faith because in Islam we refer to Satan as an evil whisperer and mischief-maker who is only able to bring evil into the world through our human action. He similarly operates through the power of words, by convincing us, often through our own internal dialogues, and is able to make what is wrong appear to be right. Like politicians and some bad lawyers, the devil is great at the art of rationalization and getting inside your head. Which is why even in our own internal language, our inner discussions, we must be careful with what we say and think. For example, after a failure in our career, we might label ourselves as a “loser.” Calling yourself a loser may be brought on by the initial crush of the pain of failure but, if you are not careful, this word will embed itself in your psyche, making you believe that you are actually a loser and this belief will eventually cripple you in all your endeavors. So even in our inner monologues, or when we talk to ourselves, we have to be prudent with our words.
Finally, it is said that a man is only as good as his word. What is meant by this idiom is that a man must abide by his agreements. But I think there is actually much more to it than that. Beyond mere contractual obligations, a man’s word is self-defining. Thus, through one’s words — what we say — we actualize ourselves. Put another way, this means that a man who enjoys unnecessarily criticizing others, who has a sharp tongue, and is prone to gossip and slander cannot be conceived of as a good man. There is a strange causality to it: a man who is unkind and discouraging in his words merely causes himself harm and ruin. His own words tear him down. Conversely, when we use our words to help people when they are in difficulty and when we speak to our friends and family with warmth and kindness, then by that same law of cause and effect, we build ourselves up. Simply, a man must use his words positively, encouragingly, kindly, even lovingly; only then can he deserve to be called a good man.
