Is stay-at-home hubby really a bum?
Dear Nanay,
I would like to make a comment about your letter sender last May 29, 2011. I think the husband of Lost in Translation is, well, to say the least, a bum.
I think the husband is just trying to find an excuse to stay home and watch television. He says he needs to do “research” before he can trade minerals or do agribusiness? Where are the products of this so-called research? Or maybe he considers watching television as “research.” I hope he is watching the National Geographic channel!
There is only one solution for lazy parents — and this goes for both husbands and wives — they have to be cut off! No allowance. No money. And that means they can’t do anything! No television. No shopping. No eating out. Make them earn everything. It is so sad that you have to treat them like children but I am afraid that if you don’t, then they will never learn.
Mind you, it is different if he is at home because he has to run the household or do household chores or take care of the kids, including bringing them to and from school and the family doesn’t need the extra income. Maybe in their household, the wife is really the breadwinner and that is okay because there are many households today that are like that. But unfortunately, I don’t think that is what is happening in the particular situation of Lost in Translation. I think her husband is just being a bum. The letter sender is not making money from her businesses yet and I am sure the family needs help financially. But they are just relying on the kindness and support of the wife’s family! The husband must find a way to contribute! Is he even looking for a job? Dapat naman mahiya siya sa pamilya ng asawa niya!
Lost in Translation, as difficult as it may be, you should stop being “Lost” and find yourself and stand up for yourself and your family! Otherwise your situation will never change. You have to do what is correct not only for yourself and for your family but for your husband as well. I think when he finds success because you pushed him with tough love, then he will also thank you in the end.
— Found
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Dear Nanay,
I enjoy reading The Philippine STAR especially your column “Ask Nanay.” The letter of Frustrated Daughter moved me in a special way because I can relate to her story.
I am also a person with cured TB. I got the disease while in college and, like her, a working student in a fast-food chain. It is frustrating that while TB is now curable, the world is not ready to accept people like us. Doctors have conflicting opinions; oftentimes, your attending physician will say you are now cured and is willing to attest to that but other doctors will doubt it. Even if you are the most qualified among the applicants, your x-ray result summarizes your whole being. They will not give a damn even if you perfected the exams and did well in interviews. You have a scar, calcification that is visible in your x-ray so you are substandard! Just imagine hearing this from the HR officers/company physicians, who are either afraid you might infect them with the bugs or pity you. They probably think that if you cannot have a job that can make you earn money to buy nourishment for your body, most likely the bugs will pester you again. Even if you have the guts to go abroad and work there, embassy doctors will make sure you will not set foot on their country. People with AIDS are given much more consideration.
So, we are cured but we cannot have a life after TB. Some companies will say go, undergo medication; but when you come back, your separation pay is waiting for you.
I do hope that the world, aside from celebrating World TB Day, will give equal chances to us, people with cured TB. We can still be productive if only you will let us. We can still help in making this world a better place. — Sapphire In Blue
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