An OFW's pain of spending Christmas away from family
DEAR NANAY,
I am an OFW in Dubai. I moved here early this year because my brother is already working here. Life here is okay. I get paid more than I would make in Manila so I get to save some money. But, of course, this will also be my first Christmas and New Year away from my family and loved ones. I think my brother being here with me makes things a little better. At least I have someone I love to spend the holidays with. I wish I could spend the Christmas season with my children and husband. But I cannot go on leave yet because I only have been here a few months and besides it is too expensive to go home. I think it is better if I just remit the money and the children can enjoy nice toys for Christmas. And at least there is still YM and Skype so I can still communicate with them. Thank you very much, Nanay.
— LINDA
Dear Linda,
Being far apart from your loved ones is always difficult. And I can only imagine that it is even more difficult when you are spending your first Christmas away from home. As you mentioned, you can take some comfort in the fact that you can spend the holidays with your brother. Malaking bagay iyon (that’s a big help). But of course, I also understand na iba pa rin kapag kumpleto ang pamilya (that’s it’s much better when the family is complete).
Maybe you can try to prearrange a time when you can video conference with your children and husband perhaps at midnight of Christmas Eve, then you can not only celebrate Christmas together but you can also say a short prayer of thanksgiving together. Because you still have a lot to be thankful for.
Good luck in Dubai and stay strong for yourself and your family.
Sincerely,
NANAY
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A Widower tries to move on
DEAR NANAY,
It has been almost a year since my dear wife passed away last year on Dec. 23. It has also been probably the saddest year of my life as the only woman I love is no longer by my side. I still remember all the times we shared together that we shall never be able to have again. Thirty-five years of being together taken away in just one instant. I really want to move on but I find it difficult. And as I approach the first-year anniversary, I fear that this Christmas season will still be as sad and depressing as the previous one. How do I move on?
— LBJ
Dear LBJ,
It is always difficult to move on when we lose a loved one especially when it happens at a time when everyone else seems to be merrymaking. But I think you just have to look at the bright side of things and believe that if it is God’s will then it should be done.
There is nothing wrong with grieving. As a matter of fact, it is probably healthy because you do need to release your emotions. But you also have to find the strength to move forward with your life. Think of what your wife would have wanted for you. Would she like to see you sad and depressed? Or would she like to see you vibrant and enjoying the rest of your life?
You said that one instant took away your 35 years of being together. But look on the flip side — now you have 35 years of wonderful and beautiful memories that can never be taken away from you.
Sincerely,
NANAY
