Ondoy victim can't get over it

Dear Nanay,

It has been a little over a year since super typhoon Ondoy devastated our country and so many of the lives of our countrymen. And one year later, there are still many lives that have not been completely rebuilt. My brother’s life is one of those that have not yet been rebuilt. He lost everything he owned and it seems he has not recovered from the trauma emotionally. It seems he has lost his will to live life to the fullest and he just goes to work and comes home in an almost robotic fashion. We, his sisters, want to really help him in every way we can, but his problem now is all his. He has to be the one to come out of his shell and be himself again. His problems are no longer financial since he has a good job but really mental and emotional.

How do we help him out? — J&J

DEAR J&J,

I think you provided yourself with the answer to your question. As you said, it is up to him to come out of his shell. You have done your part and now it is your brother’s turn.

Losing everything you own is no joke. For people who have not experienced it, it can be very traumatic. Hindi ba sabi nga nila, manakawan ka na wag lang masunugan? (Isn’t there a saying that it is better to get robbed than to be a victim of a fire?) It takes different people different amounts of time to bounce back from a tragedy. You might want to consult a psychologist depending on how serious his condition is, but I think give him a little more time and he will eventually “come out of it” when he is ready. My only piece of advice is that you do not “force” him to do anything he is not ready to. Huwag lang ninyo siya pilitin ng pilitin kung ayaw pa niya (Don’t force him if he really doesn’t want).

As for you and your sister, just do what you have been doing. Give him love, support and always make him feel that you will always be there for him and for each other no matter what.

Sincerely,

NANAY

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Costs Don’t Count, Thoughts Do

Dear Nanay,

You are correct when you say that people have forgotten what the true meaning of gift giving is. Isn’t it suppose to be “the thought that counts?” What happened to the “thought” when everyone is just counting the cost?  

My favorite gift I ever received was a book from my best friend. It was a book called Being Happy by Andrew Matthews. That book changed my life. It changed how I look at my life! And it was not an expensive gift. It was only a few hundred pesos but a few hundred pesos could not have been better spent! Imagine changing someone’s life for a few hundred pesos. What’s more, it came at a time in my life when I was very depressed. And I still have the card that accompanied that book with a note from my friend that said “Dear Clara... you look like you could use a little perk up. Love, Minds.” And boy, did the book perk me up!

As I said, it is proof that it is not the price that matters. It is the thought and the quality of the gift. So this Christmas, instead of giving each other generic gifts, maybe we should all try to take more time and figure out what that person really needs.   — Clara