JJ Jaime Hervas-Pamela Lejano Gella: A second-time wedding under the Tuscan sun

MANILA, Philippines - Pamela Gella may be a “second timer” at the altar, but this bride-to-be is preparing for a unique exchange of vows in a dreamy medieval castle in Florence, Italy.

They’ve both been married before and have already settled down, so to speak, for the past six years together with the three kids from her previous relationship, and two children from his. Still, that didn’t make a proposal and plans for a wedding any less special for long-time business and life partners JJ Jaime Hervas and Pamela Lejano Gella.

Jj, who proposed last Valentine’s Day, originally intended to surprise Pam in a theater with a specially produced animated movie, the kind where the characters of the film would suddenly turn to the audience and address her. Instead, he popped the question in the least romantic of places and with absolutely no frills — but all heart.

“We were at home and he asked me if I was okay,” recalls Pam. “Then he said, ‘I just have to give you something.’” That “something” turned out to be an engagement ring designed by Jj. It’s a white-gold band of the infinity symbol with a 1.5-carat diamond nestled in one of the loops. “It’s been six years,” sobbed Jay, who finally got his final annulment papers last December. “I just couldn’t wait another day.”

Having walked down the proverbial aisle before, Pam knows exactly what’s on the mind of “second-timers.” “I can guarantee you,” she declares, “ask 100 people if they want to get married again, and they wouldn’t want something big. They would want it more intimate the second time around.” By that she means the whole shebang — the spectacular old church wedding, the throngs of sponsors, the countless guests (some whose name you can’t anymore remember) at the hotel reception. And yet, whether it’s a bride’s first — or first of many — trips to the altar, the sentiment is one and the same.

“A wedding is every girl’s dream and she wants to make a statement — to do it differently,” Pam enthuses.

Even their invitation has been specially commissioned and painted by artist Pancho Villanueva who has drawn the invitation by hand and replicated the couple’s family members in a medieval setting.

“Different” certainly describes this couple’s plans. Opting for a destination wedding, Jj and Pam will exchange “I Dos” next year in Italy — specifically Tuscany, setting of the romantic movie Under the Tuscan Sun starring Diane Lane. Inspired by the rustic, natural, and unpretentious air of the place, the couple, who had both been to Tuscany before, also chose the venue to keep their wedding intimate; only 50 of their immediate family and friends will be in attendance, their kids will serve as the entourage.

“Our first choice was actually Paris,” Pam admits. “But during a visit, we found it too formal and stiff for us. Also, to get married there, you would have to have a 40-day residency in the city.” Even California’s Napa Valley was a contender, given its pretty vineyards and fair weather. But the old-world ambience of Tuscany offered something original, “and we like doing things that way,” says Pam. “It’s something only a few people have done.”

As such, this destination wedding required a little more research and legwork than the typical Manila wedding as there are no local destination wedding coordinators to guide her so she did it on her own. Through the Internet, phone calls, an actual trip to Tuscany, and with very little knowledge of the Italian language, she discovered that “to marry in Italy, you would have to be annulled for at least one year.” (Hence, Jj’s and Pam’s decision to tie the knot in 2011.) There are apparently several ways to go about it: a couple could marry civilly in Manila and have a ceremony in Italy (so the marriage is recognized in Philippine soil), or do as Jj and Pam planned, which is to have both their civil and ceremonial weddings in Italy. “There are also a lot of do’s and don’ts, which I would love to share to second timers when they get married out of the country, and I can share those tips and tricks maybe in another article, since there’s it’s a lot to mention.”

Pam also learned that Italy’s wedding coordinators “will only show you venues they’re accredited with” but with a little prodding, you could still get something out of the ordinary. She and Jj will exchange vows in the Castello di Gabbiano, an honest-to-goodness medieval castle said to be owned by the man who commissioned Michelangelo to create the statue of David. The castle makes its own wines — perfect wedding giveaways — and offers a wine-tasting tour to boot, one of several activities lined up in their five-day stay. A market tour is also part of the itinerary, making this wedding a true event to remember, not only for the bride and groom, but for their loved ones as well.

Of course, this dream wedding will remain exactly that without the all-important visa, and while no one can be guaranteed one, Pam says that establishing contacts in Italy (such as the people behind her wedding venue or her Italian wedding coordinator) is a plus. “They can vouch for you, show proof of what you’re planning to do.”

The amazing part about this destination wedding? It’s actually affordable and even cheaper than a wedding in the Philippines. Including airfare, shipping the wedding gown by Michi Calica and entourage’s wardrobe, and a five-day rental of the castle (at less that a million) Pam says total costs come up to about P3-P3.5 million. “If you can afford to do it,” she says, “why not?”

Brides can certainly learn a lot from this sensible second-timer, who also advises to plan at least a year in advance, keep the guest list down to a minimum, and see the ceremony for what it is. “At the end of the day, a wedding is just icing on the cake,” says Pam. “It’s the marriage that’s most important.”