Possibilities
Possibilities” is a special word. It connotes the power of change. It inspires creativity and reminds us of the actual impermanence of the status quo and the infinite ways to do things differently in order to make our lives better. Let me share with you three examples of how thinking about what is possible — despite obstacles and challenges — and taking the risk and the effort to achieve something better have improved people’s lives.
Yesterday, I attended my first meeting with the Center for Possibilities Inc. Conveniently, we had it at the house of Cito Beltran, who happens to be my wife’s cousin. The Center is a “non-profit organization that aims to be a sanctuary for children with special needs and their family and friends.” At least, that’s what it says on its blog; the reality — or at least the human aspect as I saw it at Cito’s house — was even better. What I saw was a group of men and women (actually the women outnumbered Cito, me and Rene, the president of the Center, about four to one) who all had different stories and experiences about various types of disabilities, coming together passionately for a common cause: creating a society with compassion for persons with disabilities such as autism, retardation, deafness, etc.
Interestingly, not all the members of the Center had a child or even a relative who had special needs. My eldest son, Santi, is autistic so I had a clear personal motivation for joining the group. However, one of the directors, Dolly Cruz, who has five children and two grandchildren, had no one in her immediate family who was a special-needs individual. The fact that not all the directors and members of the Center had their own special child is significant because it emphasizes the reality that the need to provide care and support for special persons — as well to create a space for them in our society to be accepted and to grow to their human potential — is not a personal need but a societal one. The best society is that which best takes care of its weakest and most vulnerable members. Being the neophyte to the group, I mostly listened and I learned that there were a number of projects lined up by the Center, namely:
1. Holding a talent festival celebrating the works of children with special needs in music and the arts;
2. Holding a concert featuring special children and the production of a commemorative album/CD;
3. Publishing books for children with special needs;
4. Developing a nature camp and resort complex wherein children can experience enriching activities such as sports, camping, music, cooking, scouting, and a place where they can spend their time with their families;
5. Holding an art exhibit and auction using the virtual gallery of artworks made by special children; and
6. Publishing a coffee table book of special moments of children with special needs.
The meeting, which apparently was a meeting of the officers of the group, while conducted professionally, seemed much like a dinner party among good friends with plenty of humor and good-natured ribbing as well as a lot of food. While listening, I took note of how I could help, by using my legal skills, such as by reviewing the documents executed and to be signed by the Center and to insure that the reportorial and other governmental requirements had been complied with. This early, I wanted to be able to contribute to the Center’s continued success.
Later, I was invited to give a talk to a support group of parents of autistic and other special-needs children. They told me to share my story about the challenges and joys faced by our family as we raise Santi. In fact, I had been invited to join the Center after I had written about Santi in my column. One of my objectives for writing about how my autistic son taught me to be a father was to address the stigma that some fathers felt at having a special needs child and to share how, at least in my case, having an autistic son had turned out to be a real blessing for my family. My own experience with Santi shows how instead of being disheartened by the burdens of raising a special child, our family came together to see the possibilities — indeed the blessings — of raising a happy and healthy autistic child.
The second example of seeing possibilities and overcoming challenges focuses on my older brother, Adib. Adib and his wife are the proud owners of the Chicken Bacolod chain of restaurants. At last count, he has five restaurants located in Greenbelt, Market! Market!, Katipunan Avenue, Matalino Street and Alabang Town Center. However, success did not come easy to my brother and his wife and they had to make a huge gamble in setting up their first branch in Katipunan. I recall how they had to sell their town house in order to raise the seed capital to open their first branch. For someone who had never had any entrepreneurial experience and whose work background had been as our father’s Senate chief of staff, my brother was taking a huge risk. Honestly, I myself was skeptical about the venture since I never knew Adib as someone with a business or entrepreneurial bent. Fortunately, with the help of his wife and his in-laws, they opened their first branch in 1994 and from that one branch, he has expanded to five branches and has built his own solid niche in the food industry. Again, my brother and his wife, Joji, could have just focused on the risks, their lack of experience, and the numerous stories of failed restaurants and business ventures. But they didn’t. They saw the possibilities, prepared well, took a risk, and now are reaping the success.
My third example is about a Purple Elephant, which is really about my sister, Candy. No, my sister is not a pachyderm, that’s the name of her bakeshop in New York and her own story is a testament to the willingness to take risks, which is at the heart of the concept of possibilities. My sister’s life, in my view, is a success story — from a failed teenage marriage, which was subsequently annulled, she ventured to work and live in the United States. Despite the fact that we had no family or support system in the US, she left the safety and perhaps the comforts of her life in the Philippines to try her luck abroad. After finding work in sales, she would get married, settle down, and have a beautiful family. Later, she would take up courses at the French Culinary Institute of New York. In 2009, when the financial crisis hit the US, she, like thousands of others, was laid off. She had just given birth to her twins when she lost her job but instead of being despondent, she decided to take another risk and fulfill her dream of opening up her own bake shop. Partnering with a fellow student/intern from FCI, they set up “The Purple Elephant Cake” (www.purpleeleph-antcake.com) in New York City. According to them, their pastries are almost “too sinful to eat” but more than just their products, I believe — and this is a brother’s hope — that my sister’s can-do attitude and passion will make this business a winner.
Sadly, unlike the Center for Possibilities, Inc. or my siblings, Adib and Candy, too often, we allow the challenges and roadblocks of life to impair our vision of what is possible, or more specifically the good that we can create for ourselves and for others. Moreover, we allow the naysayers and the negative people around us to curtail our creative spirit — that part of us that dwells in the realm of possibilities — perhaps because someone in the past had stopped them from pursuing their dreams and their success. If we are to be truly able to achieve our full human potential, then we must always strive for the good and the possible. We must remember that when God created us in his image, what this meant was that he infused in us his own creative spirit. And it is this creative element, the power of possibilities, that we must embrace on our journey through life.
