Smashing success: Andre Agassi as a father

“As a tennis pro I always led a very public life, and much of what was publicized about me was simply wrong, both the good and the bad,” says Andre Agassi. “I knew my way around the tennis court, but not the world outside. My life consisted of contradictions that I could never explain.”

 Your father was known as a task-master. Why did you not deal more harshly with him in your book?

My father is unbelievably loyal. I wished he had loved me less. He was always big-hearted. He was just looking for the shortest way to the American dream… and that lay in your success.

My father had a plan, and he was so disciplined you wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know how he did it — two jobs, four children, standing on the tennis court with us hour after hour, all this crazy discipline. He had many positive sides.

In Open, you tell us that at some point you decided to play only for yourself. When was that?

In 1997 when I was 27. I was so bad at the time — number 141 in the world; I had to accept a wild card in order to participate in a tournament in Stuttgart, Germany. Brad Gilbert, my coach then, couldn’t put up with my declining status. He asked me and the team to his hotel room and said: “We’re not leaving here until you make a decision. Either you stop, or we start all over again.” I thought, Hold on, you’ve never liked tennis and never less than at this moment. I didn’t like myself, and I didn’t like what I had achieved.

You had achieved so much by this time. You no longer had to work.

Precisely. I said to myself: “You can stop right now. You have everything you need: money, a wife, and finally you have your freedom. It doesn’t get any better.”

Exactly.

But then I asked myself: “How would it be if I were the only one to decide who I want to be as a player?” The key question was: Is there any reason why I should keep on playing? I had no answer at first, but then I founded my school… the Andre Agassi Foundation which trains and supports children from difficult social environments.

In this school I could observe how a life changed, and indeed changed for the better. From then on I played for my school. I said to myself: “Tennis goes on being hard, tough for the head, but you are playing for something that lasts, that’s more important then your own needs.”

How do you educate your kids?

I am not a teacher, but I try to teach my own and the other children in my school to be sympathetic. We want to show them what it means to love those closest to you. Education, including character-building, means a huge expansion of possibilities.

When do you become strict?

If my son does not listen, if he hurts somebody or does not behave properly, that makes me angry, very angry sometimes. If he then comes to me later, if he has learned his lesson or accepted punishment, we get along again in a normal way. He has to understand why I had to have a word with him. But he must not be afraid of any lasting emotional punishment. I demand a lot, but I also forgive a lot.

Your children are already financially secure for life. How would you teach them that people have to work hard for their goals?

They do not see us as parents provided with everything and living luxuriously. They can see very day how much energy and devotion I put into my school.

Your wife, Steffi, was feared as tennis player for her perfectionism. You too were always looking for the perfect strokes. Can perfection be an everyday ambition?

A big one, a very big one, which we both have. In me this won’t change, either. When I decide on something, it has to be perfect, it doesn’t matter whether it’s in the kitchen, for the family, or in my business.

Would you say, I am living as a 40-year-old should live?

I feel like a 60-year-old.

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Excerpts from “Tennis Icon Andre Agassi on Fathers and Sons” by Christopher Keil in the June issue of Reader’s Digest.