Top Expressions Of 2009
This past year was a particularly trying one. Setting aside all the natural disasters, human atrocities and political misdeeds in our midst, the Philippines focused all its attention in the final months of 2009 on the most important issue facing mankind since global warming. That is, the future of professional golf without Tiger Woods.
It was just all too much to bear. As usual, popular language reflected the sea change around us, allowing us to brave the last 12 months and leaving us with a pile of nagging expressions, many of which can and should be ditched in the decade that was “the Aughties.” In the spirit of “out with the bad, in with the good,” it is time to jettison some of those dubious phrases, and come up with some new crap for “the Tennies.”
“The Aughties.” Okay, granted: we needed a word to describe the last decade, the one that lies wedged between the end of the 20th century and the commencement of the next like a piece of chewed-up apple stuck between two incisors. But, “The Aughties”? Really? Why not call them “The Empties”? And offer a five-peso return on the deposit for the bottles they came in?
“Aylavet.” Texting shorthand for “I love it,” which actually cleverly reduces the thumb time needed on the keypad because you’re allowed to move to different number keys to spell the phrase out (don’t bother with spaces), rather than suffer long, tedious lag periods as your phone struggles to catch up with typing “I” and “L” in immediate succession. That can be, like, a real time suck. What’s new is that people here actually say it out loud the way it’s spelled, usually drawing out the “lav” part with a short “a” sound for extra emphasis.
“Basically.” Placed at the start of long, didactic sentences to indicate that the speaker possesses definitive knowledge about some matter, it also finds its way now at the end of sentences, where it conveys precisely the opposite — a hedging quality, an ambiguous adjective that seems to suggest the speaker isn’t really in possession of all the facts, or is disavowing any clear answer (e.g., “You have to line up at the Comelec office at around 6:30 a.m. but no later than 8:15 and then proceed to the blue table and get a pink form and then make sure you have it signed by a barangay captain and notarized before you can submit it and then you can vote four months from now. Basically…”)
“Big reveal.” Popular in fashion and brand-launching circles, from whence most of the Twit (not Twitter) generation’s language emanates, “The Big Reveal” is meant to replace the (admittedly more) pedestrian term “launch” with added drum rolls and flourishes, but it now extends to every opening of an envelope or curtain in town. Got a cell phone or an article of clothing to pitch? Wrap it in a “reveal.” You can’t have a press release without a “big reveal,” just like you can’t attend one without having a “big yawn.”
“Bromance.” Let’s face it, most mutant words that attach a male prefix to a neutral or female category are annoying (“guyliner,” “murse,” “moobs,” et al). But the bromance is a particular variant spawned by Judd Apatow movies. Yes, long ago gay subtext was kept hidden and repressed, such as in Fight Club and Lethal Weapon movies. Now it’s a badge of honor for a man to say to another man, “I love you, man!” Progress of sorts. But the expression has got to go.
“Cheesy!” Thanks to the advertising efforts of a local pizza vendor, this one-word phrase has not only been co-opted to punctuate any outpouring of Filipino senti-ism, but has led even more people into using it. Just good marketing? Yes. Sobra cheesy? Yes, yes, yes.
“Cougar/Puma.” For every 50-plus dame staking her claim on young male arm candy (said “Cougar”), there is now an equal-time label for a woman in her 30s or 40s who stalks younger guys — hence, “Puma.” The only problem is why do women get the spiffy, sleek monickers to describe their cradle-robbing habits while men of any age above legal tender get stuck with “DOM” (for “Dirty Old Man”)? Hey, if predatory older women can get an upgrade, why not predatory old men?
“Don’t like…” This one is trotted out when someone from the Twit generation experiences a minor inconvenience. It’s almost an audible thought bubble, meant to express their displeasure at some development in their Internet bubble world, such as “My corn crops rotted in Farmville when I was away from my laptop for two days… Don’t like…”
“I got a feeling…” and “Nobody, nobody but you…” Popular song lyrics become the lingua franca for a mercifully short period, then they die on the vine or wilt like fruit flies under the scorching 24-hour life span. Either way, neither fad nor catchphrase will make it into the pantheon of legendary pop lyrics. Thank God for natural selection.
“I know, right?” Yes, I mentioned this one last year. It’s still around. It’s still annoying. It conveys to the listener a certain shared annoyance level, roughly equivalent to someone whining or going “Tsk!” It’s irksome. I know, right?
“It is what it is.” Used by people shirking responsibility, usually with a shrug, to describe something they feel no compulsion to defend or apologize for. (“My apartment is a pig sty? It is what it is…”) Personally, I blame the corporate world for this is non-informative tautology (though we can also trace it to Robert De Niro’s maddening insistence, while holding a hunting rifle in The Deerhunter, that “This is this”). In logic terms, the phrase basically boils down to “A = A.” Thanks for the update, Dilbert.
“It’s complicated.” This phrase seems to have been launched by a thousand Facebook profiles, where people tend to shy away from describing their relationships in concrete terms. Now it’s a catch-all slogan for every difficult matter in one’s life for which there isn’t sufficient time or brain space left to describe it in words. Just as well. Who really wants to hear all the deets?
“Like a rock star.” Any expression meant to connect us to the dubious benefits of being a “rock star” — or behaving like one — such as “Party like a rock star,” “Feeling rock star,” etc., should be sent to the scrap heap in 2010. Rock stars are passé, though musicians still rule. Actually, if 2099 taught us anything, it’s that not even rock stars could live up to the high lifestyles of rock stars of old; only bank CEOs did — and continue to command unholy amounts of compensation. Private jets, ski holidays while the economy tanks, $100 million bonuses a year after the government bailout — US bank hotshots in 2009 got away with the kind of excess that Keith Moon and Pete Doherty could only dream of. The only perk they missed out on was throwing TV sets out of hotel windows.
“Oh-Em-Gee!” This is kind of perversely silly. You take a phrase such as “Oh my God!” and reduce it to three short letters. Then, after nauseating everyone by including “OMG” in every text and e-mail and tweet you send, you decide that “OMG” deserves to be spoken again. But to do so you have to speak out the letters “Oh-Em-Gee!” with extra pauses between each letter, which is kind of retarded. Really, how much time is saved by saying “Oh-Em-Gee!” instead of “Oh my God!”? None. But at least you’re not taking the Lord’s name in vain. That’s got to count for something.
“Time suck.” This one has cropped up in relation to certain online flash games played on social network sites by people with way too much time on their hands. Every year, there’s a fresh, new time suck: last year it was lists, lists and more lists. The year before that it was Fluff Friends. Now it’s Zynga games like “Farmville,” “Petville,” “Café World” and “Mafia Wars” that are raking in the dough and luring people hopelessly down the mineshaft of irretrievable time. Zynga (whose slogan should be “If it’s not wasting your precious time, it’s not Zynga”) has somehow figured out how to corner that most precious commodity in our modern lives — time — and use it for growing vegetables, cooking up pots of beef stew, and releasing stray and unfed virtual pets from virtual animal pounds. What does it tell you when technology gets so advanced that online storage space becomes practically limitless, yet our personal time remains stuck in 24-hour bite-size bits? It’s a mad, mad world, and it just got more complicated. Say goodbye to free time in 2010. Thanks, technology.
“Unfriended.” Mostly refers to the Facebook phenomenon of dumping someone you’ve allowed into your close coterie of 1,847 online buddies, usually as the result of said Friend writing something obnoxious or too revealing on your Wall. Now has spread to people we disconnect from our lives in a variety of high-tech ways — a lambasting e-mail, a lacerating text message, or simply the click of a mouse button.
“You know?” Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao’s best-known catchphrase. Even though the champion has shown he can successfully string together words, phrases and actual song lyrics (Dan Hill, anyone?) in English, it is this one-two punch — “You know?” — that punctuates his public persona. Used in ads, or just to stall for time while gathering his thoughts during interviews, it’s — like it or not — Manny’s calling card.
