Mad about shoes, bags and accessories

If you want to know if a man is well-groomed, check his footwear.” That’s a piece of advice from the doyen of high couture, Ramon “Ramoning” Valera. He handed this down to two generations in my family.

Never mind if he has those drop-dead looks that you would gladly trade your maidenhood for. Glance down and, if you see shabby, worn-out, dull and dingy shoes, burn the candles and leave him to the elements.

Ramoning went further, saying that women should avoid wearing white shoes, except perhaps on that rare visit to the Greek Isles when you want to make a statement among the sun-drenched ruins of the Parthenon and the Acropolis.

But limit this to open-toed leather sandals; no flip-flops or beach tongs, even if they’re more expensive than your slinky sandals.

To Valera, the only women allowed to wear white shoes were nurses and laboratory technicians. It was part of that sterile image or persona that they needed to uphold to make them look clinical and germ-free.

Valera was pedantic when it came to coaching women on the rudiments of fashion and style.

This mania for shoes is not exclusive to men or to high-profile women and former first ladies.

The notoriety can be blamed on all women who wouldn’t give a thought to owning a dozen to 40 different styles of shoes. What member of the fairer sex wouldn’t be seduced by their colors and shapes? When she tries a new pair of pumps or penny loafers, ballet slippers or the most seductive, beguiling stilettos, she  throws “need” out of the window and willingly breaks her no-shopping fast.

My love fantasy with shoes started with glass slippers.  Huh? I know, I know, it was dumb. I thought owning a pair would get me my Prince Charming on a white horse who would dismount and waltz me to the palace like Cinderella.

That would have been plain torture. First, calluses and blisters would form on my frail toes because of that hard, brittle, non-porous substance. Second, horses terrified me despite being splendid and handsome mammals.   

Third, I can’t waltz.

My aborted fairy-tale shoes did not stop me from indulging in the other styles. I learned, too, that the best pair is the one that hardly calls attention to the “wearer.”

Career women who power lunch prefer styles that coordinate with suits and dresses. For those who have a less-structured lifestyle or for those dress-down days, there are the sling backs, the mules or espadrilles in a variety of colors.

A friend from Melbourne who has never given up on stilettos — they doubled as her deadly assault weapon — got excited over a pair of silk embroidered stilettos that she found in a local store here. She quickly baptized it as her “Susie Wong” accessories, ready to lure the opposite sex to her den of desires. 

“Susie” was such a great match to her Shanghai cheongsam that I was expecting a William Holden look-alike to make an appearance to complete her celluloid fantasy.

Recently, a group of friends met for a special session of l’art du nu, aerobics. They were required to come in their loose gym wear and yoga or Pilates slippers; not for my friend, Lita Potassy. She danced and squeaked her atrophied bones in her 3.7-inch-high stilettos. Lita is like Mattel’s Barbie; she was born with arched feet. She’s one of the few remaining ladies I know who still wears high heels.

Gone are the days when petite women like me must endure the vertical prop of stiletto heels just to be able to match the height of her six-footer escort. Why didn’t anyone tell me I was walking on stilts?

Having discarded brag for comfort, what a relief to walk around in those two-toned ballet slippers similar to the much-coveted version made by the House of Chanel.

Luckily, these quilted slippers have been copied by so many fashion designers that they’re now ubiquitous and affordable to all women. Comfy and durable, you could even wear them to actual ballet exercises. And since they last through many seasons, your patient and meticulous cobbler may very well have to hang a sign on his door: “Out Of Business.”

Remember that heel heights are always dependent on the hemline. Heels look better with longer skirts but if you have shapely legs — oh my, my — watch out for several pairs of eyeballs dropping on the ground. Even with shapely legs, your hemline will eventually follow your age in length.

Dressing is not complete without a handbag and women are advised to “think point of view.”

Bags for the day should be totes or cool straw or canvas bags.  In our house, the tote I carried around had become so familiar as a piece of furniture that everyone referred to it as my monogrammed bayong. It had one setback: it was as heavy as me.

At night, “think shiny,” meaning something with beads, rhinestones or metallic colors. A classic look includes soft and fine leather in neutral navy, earth brown or black that women can coordinate successfully. But again, there’s a setback. The tiny compartment restricts you to choose between what you consider more essential: a cell phone or your lipstick?

According to Ramoning Valer: “The major key is proportion.” Bags should never dwarf or overwhelm you. It must also suit your personality.

Do not be swayed by the brand or label of the handbag. I know it would be flattering to have a bag named after you like that bag with high handles that was named after Grace Kelly. She was a movie star and a princess who probably didn’t have to pay for her handbags. In the end, let good sense keep your feet on the ground. Think of the “mileage” you can get from your  bag and use it as often as you can.

For accessories, remember the following:

• Shoes and handbags give you the option of choosing a dominant color or taking a different direction. If you’re wearing a solid shade like navy, brown, black or gray, it is now “fun” to add a dose of color to your shoes or handbag but remember to think humble. (Meaning, if you use every color in the color wheel, you will look garish and vulgar. The Oscar-winning movie, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert showed this take on being “over the top.” The outrageous, outlandish costumes must have been a product of the wildest of fantasies and lunacy. But that was the key: they were designed for the stage, not as street wear.)

• Pantyhose should match your shoe color or the hemline of your outfit. Stick to neutral colors. (Don’t ever make the mistake of wearing black hosiery with white shoes!)

• Fabric and embellishments play a subtle role. Easy on the cabbage roses and big prints if you don’t have the height and the physique to carry them off. The same for chunky pieces of jewelry.

• Jewelry and accessories are used to accent your clothing while you remain the center of attention. (In fashion, as in life, you matter most.)

Here is one fashion meltdown: a twice-over-the-hill woman wore these rhinestone-studded jeans with back pockets that bling-blinged like Stars and Stripes Forever; she matched that with a halter top studded with even more sequins and beads.  She had a wide belt like Elvis Presley with diamond buttons and faux pearls and a matching pair of sunshades with wingtips similar to those worn by Elton John or Dame Edna.  The man seated next to me could not believe his eyes and remarked: “Ah, is it the Fourth of July already?”

And what took the cake? She was at a healing Mass with a somber priest who was preaching self-denial and being “poor” in spirit. Ramoning Valera and Madame Coco Chanel would have somersaulted in their graves.

And the last test? Take a good look in your cheval full-length mirror before you head out the door. Your mirror never lies. If you look ridiculous, don’t get caught in it.