The ramblings of a daughter
May 21, 2006 | 12:00am
This is an article by my daughter Mikee Cojuangco-Jaworski in response to my Mother’s Day article on my children.
Reading my Mom’s column last week, her article entitled "The Ramblings of a Mother in May," made me realize how our own conception and birthing process is such a small part of our consciousness. Now that I am a mother, I have been given the opportunity to discover what a wonderful experience that whole process is, and how it is the beginning of a bond and love that are incomparable.
We have often heard people wonder how children from the same parents can be so different. But I now believe that it is the beauty of life, and continuous personal growth that causes this phenomenon. To use our own family as an example, my Mom was going through different stages in her life when each of us was conceived, given birth to, and during our formative years… not to mention our Dad’s own journey in life during those years. (Ummm, you know, the father? The other half of the equation? And in this case, the outnumbered man named Peping who has to step aside for the nth time since Father’s Day is not until next month!)
Mom was right when she said she is blessed to have conceived and given birth at a young age because now she is enjoying a relationship with us wherein we are not only parent and children, but also friends and peers. Of course, it was difficult then, but after putting our faith in the wisdom and plans of the Lord and a few years later, He reveals to us why He made it so. And now, we continue to grow together.
I remember my Mom saying she had no clue what to do with Ate Liaa when she was born. After all, especially by today’s standards, she was a child herself. And after marrying at 18 years old as one of Harper’s Bazaar’s 100 Most Beautiful Women in the World, she must hardly have been over her own childhood or going through those tumultuous teenage experiences that make women all too glad to graduate from!
Motherhood is not something one can train for, so I truly believe all eldest children are destined not only to be extra special because they are first-born, but also because they are the one’s especially chosen to endure mother’s on-the-job training. Yikes!
One day, I was describing to my Mom an experience I had after having Robbie, my eldest child who is now six years old. All the guests had left my hospital room, and Dodot went to take them to the elevator. There we were, Robbie and me, all alone for the very first time. I watched Robbie sleep and observed what in my eyes were the most perfect little eyes, lips, hands, and feet. There was such peace in my heart, and I was engulfed by the feeling of love that I never knew was possible. At this point, I vowed that I would do everything I could to give my child the best I could possibly offer. After telling her the story, my Mom looked at me and said, "Finally, someone has put into words what was going on in my head when Liaa was born."
When I had Rafael, my four-year-old, I had the same feeling. But this time it was not as intimidating or awe-filled, as I had a little bit of experience at being a Mom already. My Mom said it was the same for her when Ate Pin was born. "The love is always the same, but the experience is always different." she said.
The many long conversations I’ve had with my Mom since I got married and had kids have allowed me to know her better: her thoughts and desires, many of which I never gave mind to when I was younger. The physical space between us got bigger, but the bond got stronger. Naturally, right? She and I have had times when we’ve driven each other crazy! As much as many of us would hate to admit it, we are a whole lot more like our mothers than we’d care to admit it. It makes me laugh every time I think of that. But now it all makes sense to me. All the things she did with, for, to and because of me, whether intentionally, consciously or not, all make perfect sense.
Mom has always been like a whirling top, moving from this chore to that, demanding the same speed and efficiency from everyone around her. But having spent so much time with her allowed me to observe her and see what the driving force is behind this insatiable need for activity. It is no more and no less than her need to be the best she can be, not just for herself but for those she loves most… her children!
I have never seen anyone who could commit to a cause or activity and give a hundred percent of one’s self to it, regardless of what it is. I saw as a 35-year-old college student, as a street activist, a master’s degree student, when she was going for her doctorate, as a researcher, a writer, a government official, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a wife, and as a friend. I have seen Mom laugh, eat, scream, cry, give instructions, take instructions, shop, sleep, wake up, and in all silence read her history books with each and every activity done with total focus and as much gusto as anyone can imagine. She has touched many lives, made people see potential in themselves they never thought they had, humbled many individuals with her ability to accomplish the impossible and also driven many (I am quite certain) to insanity (stress at the very least)! Point being, at the end of the day, she gets the job done! And to top it all off, all this, she does in extraordinary and unique Tingting style.
During a trip, Mom was trying to help me muck out my horses’ stable when I was competing in Europe. No big deal, unless you’re doing it in a white balloon skirt with floral embroidery, stockings and white ballet flats that were still white after she cleaned up the stable. It may have taken her five times as long to do it as it took me, but it was a very clean stable nonetheless.
I lived with Mom in Tarlac when she was governor and I was SK chairman. We would sit around and talk until we both fell asleep, not knowing who really started snoring first.
In 1991, Mom, Dad and our Ates flew to the States and were there quite long. We never questioned why. Little did we know Mom was not well and was receiving treatment at Stanford. Never did we hear her complain or see her in a less than beautiful way, because she did not allow it, not wanting us to worry about her.
She was that way every time she was not feeling well. But Mom was always attentive when we were not well, and was always ready to dunk us into a bathtub filled with ice cubes and water when our fevers reached 40 degrees! Physical illness could never get her down. Physical pain was almost non-existent to her. I do know where I got my high tolerance for pain, and it was not from Dad. (He he he!)
Mom is also very generous, sending people things that merely remind her of them. But with me, much of her generosity comes from a need due to my lack of fashion sense or patience to get all dressed up. After some self psychoanalysis, I am convinced the root of this issue is the "fat kid syndrome" where we spend our formative years in insecurity about our looks due to being overweight. Yes, I weighed 140 pounds from the time I was eight until I was 16.
Many times I wake up to see that Mom has sent me a shirt, a blouse or accessories. Brand-new or second-hand, they are much appreciated and put to good use. The greatest lesson I have learned from Mom is that we must always strive to be the best that we can be. There is always room for improvement in our lives because we cannot offer ourselves to our families and our country until we can better ourselves and apply ourselves where we can be most effective. That is Tingting. Every day. Every moment.
Reading my Mom’s column last week, her article entitled "The Ramblings of a Mother in May," made me realize how our own conception and birthing process is such a small part of our consciousness. Now that I am a mother, I have been given the opportunity to discover what a wonderful experience that whole process is, and how it is the beginning of a bond and love that are incomparable.
We have often heard people wonder how children from the same parents can be so different. But I now believe that it is the beauty of life, and continuous personal growth that causes this phenomenon. To use our own family as an example, my Mom was going through different stages in her life when each of us was conceived, given birth to, and during our formative years… not to mention our Dad’s own journey in life during those years. (Ummm, you know, the father? The other half of the equation? And in this case, the outnumbered man named Peping who has to step aside for the nth time since Father’s Day is not until next month!)
Mom was right when she said she is blessed to have conceived and given birth at a young age because now she is enjoying a relationship with us wherein we are not only parent and children, but also friends and peers. Of course, it was difficult then, but after putting our faith in the wisdom and plans of the Lord and a few years later, He reveals to us why He made it so. And now, we continue to grow together.
I remember my Mom saying she had no clue what to do with Ate Liaa when she was born. After all, especially by today’s standards, she was a child herself. And after marrying at 18 years old as one of Harper’s Bazaar’s 100 Most Beautiful Women in the World, she must hardly have been over her own childhood or going through those tumultuous teenage experiences that make women all too glad to graduate from!
Motherhood is not something one can train for, so I truly believe all eldest children are destined not only to be extra special because they are first-born, but also because they are the one’s especially chosen to endure mother’s on-the-job training. Yikes!
When I had Rafael, my four-year-old, I had the same feeling. But this time it was not as intimidating or awe-filled, as I had a little bit of experience at being a Mom already. My Mom said it was the same for her when Ate Pin was born. "The love is always the same, but the experience is always different." she said.
The many long conversations I’ve had with my Mom since I got married and had kids have allowed me to know her better: her thoughts and desires, many of which I never gave mind to when I was younger. The physical space between us got bigger, but the bond got stronger. Naturally, right? She and I have had times when we’ve driven each other crazy! As much as many of us would hate to admit it, we are a whole lot more like our mothers than we’d care to admit it. It makes me laugh every time I think of that. But now it all makes sense to me. All the things she did with, for, to and because of me, whether intentionally, consciously or not, all make perfect sense.
I have never seen anyone who could commit to a cause or activity and give a hundred percent of one’s self to it, regardless of what it is. I saw as a 35-year-old college student, as a street activist, a master’s degree student, when she was going for her doctorate, as a researcher, a writer, a government official, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a wife, and as a friend. I have seen Mom laugh, eat, scream, cry, give instructions, take instructions, shop, sleep, wake up, and in all silence read her history books with each and every activity done with total focus and as much gusto as anyone can imagine. She has touched many lives, made people see potential in themselves they never thought they had, humbled many individuals with her ability to accomplish the impossible and also driven many (I am quite certain) to insanity (stress at the very least)! Point being, at the end of the day, she gets the job done! And to top it all off, all this, she does in extraordinary and unique Tingting style.
I lived with Mom in Tarlac when she was governor and I was SK chairman. We would sit around and talk until we both fell asleep, not knowing who really started snoring first.
In 1991, Mom, Dad and our Ates flew to the States and were there quite long. We never questioned why. Little did we know Mom was not well and was receiving treatment at Stanford. Never did we hear her complain or see her in a less than beautiful way, because she did not allow it, not wanting us to worry about her.
She was that way every time she was not feeling well. But Mom was always attentive when we were not well, and was always ready to dunk us into a bathtub filled with ice cubes and water when our fevers reached 40 degrees! Physical illness could never get her down. Physical pain was almost non-existent to her. I do know where I got my high tolerance for pain, and it was not from Dad. (He he he!)
Mom is also very generous, sending people things that merely remind her of them. But with me, much of her generosity comes from a need due to my lack of fashion sense or patience to get all dressed up. After some self psychoanalysis, I am convinced the root of this issue is the "fat kid syndrome" where we spend our formative years in insecurity about our looks due to being overweight. Yes, I weighed 140 pounds from the time I was eight until I was 16.
Many times I wake up to see that Mom has sent me a shirt, a blouse or accessories. Brand-new or second-hand, they are much appreciated and put to good use. The greatest lesson I have learned from Mom is that we must always strive to be the best that we can be. There is always room for improvement in our lives because we cannot offer ourselves to our families and our country until we can better ourselves and apply ourselves where we can be most effective. That is Tingting. Every day. Every moment.
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