Of wedding bands and bull rings

A wedding band is a potent symbol of unity as the ancient world would have it. Egypt was the forerunner of the wedding ring and linked it with everlasting love. As for the Romans, tradition dictated that when a young lady accepted a ring it bound her to a legal agreement and she was no longer free. Couples exchanged wedding bands as part of a religious and civil ceremony consummated in church or at civil rites like today.

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Where do couples wear their wedding rings? I had forgotten but I know Jewish brides wear their rings on their index finger because that is the finger, which they use to point to the verses of the Torah. Generally, wedding bands are worn on the left hand. There are many theories as to why the left hand’s ring finger should symbolize a union. Both the ancient Romans and Egyptians believed that a vein – called the vena amoris in Latin – ran directly from that finger to the heart. Where a wedding band should be worn shouldn’t matter at all. It’s the commitment that counts because nowadays, it’s hard to pinpoint the singles from the married with or without rings.

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In fact, many married couples don’t wear their wedding rings anymore. And because there are married men and women who pass themselves off as unattached it’s not really surprising to see more and more singles finding themselves unknowingly attached to the married lot. And what’s harder is that by the time they realize they’ve been waltzing with a committed person (without a wedding band) there’s already been some heavy emotional investment.

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We’re by no means like the Puritans who once refused to wear wedding rings because they considered jewelry as frivolous and sometimes a burden! In colonial times, couples exchanged "wedding thimbles" – a practical gift, but after the wedding the buttons were cut off creative rings. Whatever the culture, whatever the century, couples in love have recognized the importance of sealing their unions with rings.

In medieval England, a bridegroom would slide the ring part way up his bride’s thumb, index and middle finger, saying "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" as he passed each one. He then put the ring on the next available finger – the third finger on the left hand. This practice was finally formalized in the 1500s by Henry VIII’s son in the Book of Common Prayer.

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The practice of men wearing rings is relatively new. Up until the middle of the 20th century, it was mostly women who wore wedding rings. Was it a reminder of the days when women were regarded as property? Or was it a harmless custom akin to women wearing engagement rings from their would-be husbands or fiancées? I also read that servicemen wore their wedding bands as a reminder (the wife must have forced the ring on his finger) to remember their nuptial vows. I would like to believe that it was because of true love, true sadness, true devotion at their separation. And now I come to my mini bull ring…

Emotional investment, educational investment, financial investments… these are what graduation bull rings signify for me. I remember one homecoming celebration at the Baguio Country Club when I was adopted by Matikas PMA Class ‘83. As custom would have it, I went through a brief ritual.

Amid chants of "Drink, drink!" I sipped a brandy glass filled with red wine. The goal was for me to drink every drop so I could retrieve my mini PMA bull ring placed at the bottom of the glass. Finally, with but a little wine left and my color changing to tomato red, I inserted my fingers into the cup to hold my sentimental present. I had been officially accepted as an honorary member of Matikas PMA Class ’83 and as a sincere friend.

The word Matikas was proposed by class ‘83 members before their graduation. It was put to a vote whether it was an apt description of the class or not, being the practice in the Philippine Military Academy to attach a name to every graduating class. Initially, the class proposed the word Sinag, "beam of light," but Matikas won in the end. The word stood for many things – healthy, sturdy, strong, good-looking, smart, and snappy, according to Col. Jun Manalastas.

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In 2005, I was honored with another mini bull ring, this one from the Philippine National Police Academy class ’05 cadets for my pinky finger. What luck! The PNPA ring brings me fulfillment as an academician because I helped mold my first graduated cadets in the Academy, the Marangal Class of 2005 through their curriculum adjustment and university linkages. Marangal means they will remain honorable and live up to that virtue.

My adoption into the Marangal 2005 PNPA class was during the Graduation Ball’s Ring Hop of 139 males and 24 females from 11,000 applicants four years ago, cut down to 1,567 examinees and finally 163 students.

The Ring Hop is a tradition where the newly graduated cadets, standing under a giant bull ring, would slip on their mothers’ or girlfriends’ fingers a mini graduation bull ring as a lifetime reminder of their hardships, rigid life and accomplishments. It also announces to all and sundry that they are graduates of Bachelor of Science in Public Safety. I felt like a mother and a girlfriend… No, more like a mother with 182 children I didn’t have to conceive and nurse.

Wearing the Marangal ring makes me face the challenges of caring for the welfare of the cadets’ souls and bodies forever. So far, I have had more than a thousand cadets in my life as foster children.

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Fidelity strengthens the significance of the wedding bands and bull rings. Why not? The same metals were mixed and molded for matrimonial rings and 300 graduation rings all from one alloy. Rings are reminders of hope, of faithfulness and commitment, of endurance, hardship, reliability, confidence, honor, service, loneliness, and most of all, victory.