An exercise INXS

When the smoke from the dry-ice machine finally clears, and the fat lady sings a medley of We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions, it will probably be Manila-born Miguel "Mig" Ayesa standing up there alone on the stage of Rock Star: INXS, the latest reality show to take us behind the scenes of the exciting world of rock bands, show biz and black nail polish.

Mig’s a good enough reason for Pinoys to get hooked on Rock Star: INXS, which systematically weeds through 100 fledgling singers to find a replacement lead vocalist for Australian "rock supergroup" INXS. You wouldn’t guess it from 35-year-old Mig’s look or his accent (he grew up in Australia from age two), but you can definitely tell from his genetic ability to handle a mic and sing that he’s Filipino. It’s in the genes, apparently.

Mig capped a recent episode by accompanying himself on piano for the Peter Frampton Bic lighter-waving classic, Baby, I Love Your Way, as host Dave Navarro (the multi-tattooed, somewhat satanic-looking guitarist from Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction — and, incidentally, the husband of Carmen Electra) looked on approvingly. The other guys from INXS — looking girthier and grayer than in their ‘80s heyday, before former singer Michael Hutchence discovered his proclivity for closets and tied belts — also chipped in their accolades, and the race suddenly kicked up a notch.

After several weeks of "intrigues" back at the Goth California mansion where the final 10 contestants were busy eating, drinking, rehearsing and seriously starting to grate on each other’s (and the audience’s) nerves, the show really does come down to a few standouts.

You have Ty, the black Californian dude with a Mohawk; Jessica, a generic blonde singer who’s watched too many Avril Lavigne videos; Suzy, another generic blonde singer who’s watched too many Avril Lavigne videos; JD, a Canadian egomaniac who actually manages to give Canada a bad name; Marty, a dyed-blonde alterna-crooner who has a few showy moves in his trick bag; Deanna, a deep-voiced, busty blonde who’s got more soul — and miles on the odometer — than her fellow blondes; and Jordis, a fairly soulful singer with absolutely no stage presence whatsoever.

That leaves Mig, who has a strong voice, good stage moves (thanks to his theatrical training), and a positive attitude. He may, in fact, be too squeaky-clean for rock and roll. But he’s definitely an inside bet to win Rock Star: INXS.

Mig is clearly the front-runner in the pack of less-than-dazzling talents for a lot of reasons, and locals even have a chance to text-vote for him. And you know that, if there’s text-voting involved, he’ll probably win.

Before it all came down to the top 10, though, the rest of the crop on this high-concept reality series (seemingly a one-season deal, since the winner goes to tour with INXS and will remain a lifetime member, unless he or she begins to unravel, ODs or is a victim of auto-erotic asphyxiation) was far from glittering, and it makes you wonder why people want so desperately to become rock stars in the first place. It also makes you wonder: "What is a rock star?"

First off, INXS were never a "rock band" — they were more of a commercial alternative band in the ’80s whose biggest hits, arguably, were What You Need and New Sensation (which is used in the show’s theme, to remind you that INXS did, indeed, once have hit songs).

But the trappings of the show are really some TV producer’s clichéd idea of "rock" — and about as far from actual rock as American Idol could dream of. The stage is decorated with faux-Goth accoutrements, like the stupid chandelier and Fillmore East stage arches, while most of the audience members favor body piercing, halter tops and skull rings. Audience members — and contestants, for that matter — are prone to emitting classic "rock" gestures, such as bobbing their heads to the music and occasionally giving us the "horn" sign (you know: with upraised pinky and index finger).

Wow. How rock can you get?

The other "rock" moves emanate from the band members themselves, who can’t seem to stop themselves from air-drumming whenever the singers perform their numbers.

Air-drumming. That’s something you’ll never see Simon Cowell doing. Not in a million years.

Actually, the producers of Rock Star: INXS hit on a pretty good concept: get a largely defunct band, and try to jump-start their career with some new blood. (The colon in the title of the show suggests they can just plug in the name of some other struggling, nearly-defunct rock band next season.) The audience gets to see what kind of "training" goes into being a rock singer, the trials and hardships, the importance of wearing black nail polish. This is where Rock Star: INXS borrows a few moves from The Apprentice: you see the backstage backbiting, the catfights, the rampant assholism (now mainly confined to JD). You see who is, and isn’t, good band material. Then there’s the weekly showdown between the top singers taking us to the inevitable finale. Basically, American Idol with more skull rings.

But it’s weird. Last time I checked, you can’t really "make" a rock star. They either have that certain genetic combination of talent, chutzpah, and a small pinch of assholism in them, or they don’t. Jim Morrison was a rock star, as is Mick "My Depends Need Changing" Jagger. Lennon was, as was Kurt Cobain. Rock stars are originals. But what you tend to see on Rock Star: INXS are a lot of pale imitations.

Occasionally, though, a bit of the raw stuff that makes rock stars shine comes through. We see it when certain contestants — like Marty, who went unplugged a few weeks back, or Jordis, who sang Bowie’s The Man Who Sold the World (Nirvana’s version) with a refreshing sense of seriousness and craft — manage to shuck the cookie-cutter notions of rock and roll — the commercial trappings that initially made Rock Star: INXS such a guilty pleasure — and do something genuinely pleasurable.

Mig, the guy so many Filipinos are rooting for, has it in spades. He looks a bit like a Rolling Stone, circa 1973, with Rod Stewart rooster-hair and gaunt cheekbones. He’s certainly more gracious and professional than a lot of his competitors. And let’s not forget that he — like the band members of INXS — is Australian. That makes them automatic mates.

So don’t be surprised if another Pinoy makes it to the final round of this American reality show. Notice how they’ve been edging their way into every American TV contest involving singing talent? And, who knows? If INXS ends up doing a tour in Manila next year, with Mig holding the microphone, that’s an ’80s reunion tour I’d even line up to see.