Leaving landscapes

I lead a small life, really. The sphere of my life runs from Katipunan, where I was schooled, to Marikina, where I was raised, and where I do most of my shopping. In these 36 years, I have never moved beyond these parameters. Even my children now go to school in Katipunan, and I still live in Marikina, a stone’s throw away from my mother! Whenever I drive these roads, back and forth, back and forth, the idea of landscape and what it means to a human being dawns on me. The landscape we see regularly is what shapes us most insidiously, I am convinced. These roads are straightforward to me, unable to surprise. Even when the MMDA added a dozen U-turn slots, it took very little to get used to them. After all, only these changed.

Other landscapes are unfamiliar to me, especially Makati. I only go to Makati to visit Cyan, one of my oldest friends. When I am there, my moves are easy to track. I can be found only across the street from her apartment, what I believe is GB 1. (It is easier for me to identify places in terms of what can be found there.) I do not dare venture far, and I cannot stay longer than a meal and coffee. I am uncomfortable with the space and uncomfortable at feeling quite promdi. The malls in Marikina are laid-back and casual. You can go anywhere in tsinelas!

This was why only friendship could take me to an even more remote landscape — a press launch of Red, a credit card for women, from HSBC. Laine Laudico-Santana, HSBC head for public affairs, is a dear old friend who asked if I could come and cover the press launch, as, beat this, a member of the press. We were at a dinner with older friends, this time at Libis, where I have ventured because it is attached to Marikina. Prodded by these friends who have bigger lives, I acquiesced. Norman (No! Not the same one!) said, you’re getting older! You have to try everything at least once. But only if I could be fetched and brought home, I admonished Laine. A great demand, but I wanted to make sure I could get extracted (this is an Alias term) at any time.

The press launch was at 12 p.m., but because I am a teacher by training, I arrived at Mezze at 10:30 a.m. (It is a habit I cannot get rid of, this being ridiculously early for everything.) It took me little while to prepare because I mostly wear teaching clothes. Thank heavens, I had decided to wear red shoes (in case I would need to click them to go back home!), because Red happens to be the scheme of the credit card. Laine ushered me in and introduced the lovely Annie Ringor of Bridges and Marion Balagot, head of cards marketing at HSBC, who both immediately made me feel at home. They knew, I think, I was out of my element, so they went out of their way to make me feel at ease.

Books are my weapons against people going up to me and talking to me. So, I sat on the sofa and started to read as people began to trickle in. I must admit I was beginning to feel… bulky. What on earth was I thinking of bringing a book? This book was bigger than most of the bags of people here! And did I really have to be so corny? Champagne was being passed around, but I don’t know how to drink. Chocolate truffles were served as well, and I refused because chocolates sometimes give me rashes. What was my point of trying everything at least once if I was going to be stingy with my bravura? I threw Laine an SOS look, the back of my red shoes ready to click, and she, like a good friend, ignored my panic signals. Then, a lady sat beside me and introduced herself as Ciara Marasigan.

I have to pause here and tell you that an academic life has made me judgmental. I allegedly know the important things in life, so glamour, fashion, accessories, and "spoiling myself" are things I frown upon, so I must admit I entered this landscape knowing I would be judgmental. Worst of all, I do not know how to make small talk. But Ciara was disarming. She spoke to me of her love of jewelry designing, the books she enjoyed reading in college, her coming exhibit at the Ayala Museum. My plans of trying out small talk became futile. It turned out to be an even more pleasant surprise when I found out her brother is one of my favorite students and that her boyfriend an old college friend.

So, there was lunch and Ciara was to my left, Carla Sibal, editor of Mega on my right, and Tessa Prieto-Valdes in front of me. I sent Norman a text, "My clothes are too old for this event." He answered back, "It’s all in the way you see yourself." As usual, men are useless.

It was a relief to see that I had a couple of students in the bunch. Amina Aranaz, bag designer extraordinaire, was my student in Great Books. I cannot forget that during her oral exam with me, she and I both cried. Donna Cuna Pita, stylist at Cosmopolitan, was my student when she was in second year high school and still calls me Miss. Myrza Sison, editor-in-chief of Marie Claire, was my classmate in UP grad school. Even the chef of the restaurant said hi, as we were batch mates in college! Seeing such familiar faces was like taking wine! It was making me relax and enjoy myself. And so when the food came, I dug in with gusto and when Carla and I had not received our crème brûlée, we were absolutely shameless about asking for our portions! Who had I become in these three hours?

I was surprised to learn at the launch that HSBC’s Red MasterCard is the first credit card in the Philippines specifically designed for women. It is one of HSBC’s most popular cards, a good sign of changing times. I’m sure you’ve seen their commercial on TV with a beautiful woman buying a diamond ring. The story you think is being told is that a man is buying this woman the ring. The punch line at the end shows that it is the woman who buys herself the ring. Talk about leaving old landscapes, this time the landscape of men-and-women relationships.

But an even bigger punch line is this: Red card is now out with a proposal no woman would refuse: A chance to win a GIA-certified 1.39 carat diamond solitaire ring for every P300 charged to your Red MasterCard.

At the end of all this info, Tessa asked all the women to write down our hearts’ desires. It took me a while to write down what it was I really wanted. Surely, I was not going to write down peace on earth! And so, I wrote down what I truly needed. When she read all of our desires aloud, I was surprised to hear that we all had the same dreams – a day off, a new bag, maybe a massage or a trip abroad (exactly what I had written down!). Everyone at the party won an item and I had received gift certificates to Rustan’s, which any woman, wife, mother, single or married, would have been happy with. (I had this thought, too: If men were asked, what desires would they have written down?)

By the end of the lunch, Carla and I had exchanged notes on our sons. I got involved in a conversation with Tessa and Laine about men and love, and lo and behold! I was one of the last to leave. I did not have to click my heels at any one point.

But yes, I was glad to be back in Marikina, to the landscape that keeps me safe. But it was good to see new places, to realize that there are no small lives nor big lives. It is only about having your life and the gift of being glad that you can change your mind about certain things, and that life is too short to be spent being judgmental. Who wouldn’t want a diamond ring? I drive around Katipunan now and see the vistas beyond it. Thank God for friends who push you and see so much more in you than you can about yourself. I can do this now: See much more in people and places, only because of the willingness to try and see other landscapes.

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You may reach the less judgmental author at Rica.Santos@gmail.com.