How I found the Divine Therapist in a seminar

It was 16 years ago when I first met the Divine Therapist in Centering Prayer. I still remember that day very clearly. My friends had somehow convinced me that this was no ordinary seminar or workshop on God. It was, they said, "a divine therapy."

More therapists? I had my fill of them already. No one could quite still that restlessness in me – it just couldn’t or wouldn’t go away. But a Divine Therapist? God was my therapist. Intrigued by that thought, I found myself agreeing to go.

I remember coming away from that workshop with such a feeling of peace I never felt before. I had gone into it, full of doubts, fears and was just about ready to give up on everyone, everything and most especially myself. Somehow, I just knew that this was the prayer for me and that everything would turn out all right.

And so began the most challenging years of my life as I held on to the prayer. Being in the journey meant being very much in the everydayness of life. No mystical experiences, no fantastic out-of-this-world feelings. Just the daily constant practice of 20 minutes of silent prayer. Sometimes the 20 minutes would whiz by, but most of the time, it wouldn’t. How does this silence heal? How does the Lord work as a therapist?

As we sit in silence, as we let go of our thoughts, the Divine Therapist is quietly at work, whether we know it or not. It’s about learning to trust the silence and the God who dwells in it, who is it. Silence is magic. Beautiful things happen in the quiet. Flowers bloom, stars twinkle, grass grows, snow falls, but most of all, our Lord comes forth in silence.

Sensitivity comes about and we begin to understand what it means to be truly loved. He gently comes into our lives and awareness, and little by little, defenses come down, we let down our guard and surrender in love and trust.

It’s about learning how to allow God to love us. I allow Him to love me into existence; as He gently puts back the shattered pieces of my broken self, filling up that God-shaped vacuum in me, stilling that restlessness that just won’t stop; putting courage where once fear was and love where once only was pain. Can you even begin to imagine what one must look like through the eyes of the Beloved – the God who only knows love and who is love? And, if God loves me I must be worth something.

Today, my life has not changed much. No miracles have happened. The storms and turmoil in my life are still there. But there is one difference. There is a strong and silent presence that holds my life together, whether I know it or not. There is a quiet strength that keeps me going in spite of my not knowing who I am or where I am going. I just know that this God of mine will not let me down. And if I should waver for even a moment, I know He will be here to pick me up and urge me on again and again.

And now, as I sit here, putting down my thoughts, nothing else comes to mind except these words from a psalm we used to read every night before going to sleep many years ago:

"Out of the depths, I cry to you, O Lord, Lord hear my voice. O let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleading."

Somehow, don’t ask me how, deep in my heart I just know He hears me!

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Fr. Thomas Keating will come to the Philippines and will give a recollection on July 23 at the Every Nation Leadership (ENLI) at the Global City, Fort Bonifacio. I invite you to come and meet the Divine Therapist through the practice of Centering Prayer. For more information, call 843-8970 to 71.