The allure of the older woman

Did you watch the movie Something’s Gotta Give? It’s the basic boy-meets-girl kind of movie with the usual twists and turns in the middle of the story, with the boy ending up with some cute girl just the same. What made this movie interesting aside from Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton is that it tackled the issue of attraction and relationships between couples with uncomfortable age differences. In the movie, Jack Nicholson is a Viagra popping man who dates women 30 years his junior while Keanu Reeves pursues Diane Keaton who is 20 years his senior. In the double standard society we live in, we’re quite familiar with the older man-younger woman version. We know that older men go for "young blood" who may be wrinkle-free, more aggressive and more vulnerable. But how about the younger men who are attracted to older women?

Is it confidence? Is it sophistication? Is it money? Is it independence that the older women love? In the movie, Keanu Reeves plays the role of a doctor who doesn’t seem to need the money and the other possibilities listed above. So what can possibly attract a man of 35 to a woman of, say, 55?

Those "in the know" says the top reason why younger men like older women is because of that earthly need – uninhibited sex! Younger men swear that sex with women the same age as theirs or younger pales in comparison to the satisfaction they get from older women. The experiences older women get from other partners make them better lovers in the end. They say that the "bed tricks" older women know are stuff that younger girls are awkward with and must still discover. Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.

In a forum formed because of the movie, younger men commented that older women are more fun too, in ways other than sex. Meaning, older women usually have the spirit and confidence. Surprisingly, unattached older women have been known to be more adventurous. Probably because nothing could tie them down and time is not exactly on their side, so age leads them to want to accomplish, discover, experiment, try new things as there’s less time. They are neither coy nor careful. This makes them a perfect companion. And the most attractive of all is that older women don’t want to be tied down, so they’re not clingy and not hung up on the prospect of having a ring on their finger. Because of this, they are thought of as "easier to blow-off without a conscience after the relationship is finished." That’s another help for the boys who want to regain their freedom with approval and without a hitch.

But it’s not all about lust and money. More mature women appeal to younger men in other areas more profound than that. Younger men are drawn towards the intelligence of an older woman. Believe it or not, there are younger men who prefer an engaging conversation to big, taut boobs. As much as they want to be aroused in bed, they also want someone who can intellectually stimulate them. This is why an accomplished older woman is a magnet to younger men, especially if they want to take a similar path. For example, a female lawyer in her late 40s is very attractive to young male lawyers. Just as a senior female ad executive is attractive to a junior ad executive. When these younger wannabes witness the flair and obvious talent of these more senior females, picking the educated brain is an obvious course of action. And knowing that women are selfless and are more likely to share the secrets of their success than any male hero they put on a pedestal, the wannabes don’t hesitate to make a go for it to further a dream. Furthermore, because men are very competitive and get intimidated easily, they consider these adept women a challenge to hurdle. And we know how men love a challenge.

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A flourishing career is tantamount to power. Like younger women falling for older men with power, the young men are highly interested in older women of power too. But unlike their counterparts, younger men are not embarrassed to be seen with an older woman in power. They are not ashamed of being in the middle of the power field. In fact, they bask in the glory of being within the field. Because younger men still have to find their niche in the society, being with a woman with power makes them feel superior, too. They are privileged to be with a woman powerful and stern on the outside but knowingly tame in the inside. It’s an ego-trip. Just as we thought only the young girls become trophies, the older ones are too.

Times have indeed changed. Younger men want to show off their catch especially because older women usually have the confidence that younger women don’t have. There’s hardly any uncertainty with older women. They almost always know what they want and this gives them the unmistakable poise. They have established their own set of norms, their own sense of style and they are more polished for socials. And because of the intelligence they gain from either the school or their added years, they become more eloquent, therefore, more presentable. And we know how it is, the more presentable the woman is, the more desirable she becomes and disarming.

And how about the lust factor? Of course, men in general feel that older women can be more trusted than the younger girls. They don’t kiss and tell and joke about liaisons.

They’re very busy working, so mature women are less likely to play around. She knows her type of man and is usually faithful when she finds him. She is also less likely to tell a lie and with the wealth of knowledge, she is more ready to face the truth and it’s catching.

Because of the instinctive mothering of older women, men get a genuine feeling of security. A final trait that men have commonly pointed out that draws younger men to older women is a true sense of loving and giving and caring. This is where experience of another kind comes to play. Older women obviously have been to more places, seen more things and experienced more love and pain. This eventually becomes their edge over their younger counterpart. Older women who are accomplished are more resolved and decisive. But they are also more patient, more understanding and more compassionate. Because of this, younger men find older women better partners.

Older women are able to give sound advice. It’s a "been there, done that" thing for older women and younger men who usually attach themselves to them are just too eager to learn from other people’s mistakes and wisdom.

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So younger men are attracted to older women because of some or all of these factors: money, sex, companionship, intelligence, power, confidence, trust, wisdom and compassion (not necessarily in that order). Whether you call it a May-December affair or cradle snatching, we think that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are loving and having fun together. Maybe the cliche is true after all – women, like wine, get better with age.